For the record, I know how it happens

They say if you want to make God laugh you should tell him your plans.  If that is true then Heavenly Father must have been laughing his head off every time Brandon and I talked about how Derrick was going to be our last baby for several years.

The plan was simple  We'd wait to have more kids until around the time Brandon was done with his five years of active duty.  After having 3 kids in less than 18 months I was ready for a break.  I got an IUD several weeks after Derrick was born (and I was so proud that I didn't ask for a UTI on accident.)  I loved the IUD because I didn't have to remember to take a pill.  I got the 10 year copper kind too so I wasn't affected by any hormones.

Everything was great.  I gave away most of my maternity clothes. (I labeled the box, "the good, the bad, and the ugly.")  I boxed up all the kids' baby clothes.  Half the boxes found new owners right away.  The other half, with the more sentimental stuff, went to my parent's house to await the birth of the next grandchild.  I found a new owner for the baby bathtub and swing.  I loved getting rid of all the stuff because it meant we were done with another phase of babyness.  

Fast forward a few months to January when I started having a strange sense of deja vu.

I was feeding Derrick pea flavored baby food and the smell was making me nauseous   I thought, "wow this smell is really taking me back to when I was pregnant with Derrick and feeding the girls.  I'm so glad I'm not pregnant again."

And then a little thought popped into my head, "when was your last period?"

"Thanksgiving," I thought back.

"That was kind of a long time ago."

"Well it was my first one since I stopped breastfeeding Derrick.  It's probably taking a while to get back to a regular cycle.  And I've never been that regular anyway.  And I've been really stressed out."

"This all sounds really familiar."

"Oh be quiet.  There is no way I'm pregnant this time."

But then a few days later I noticed I was feeling nauseous even when I didn't smell pea flavored baby food.  But I told myself that I was probably battling the same stomach flu that the kids had had.  And when I noticed I was going to the bathroom a lot more I told myself it was because I was drinking more water.  And when I felt tired I told myself that I was taking care of toddler twins and a 9 month old boy so of course I would be tired.

That last rationalization got the little voice in my head going again.  "You said that last time.  Are you sure your not pregnant?"

"I'm sure!"  I thought back.  "And to prove it I'm going to take this pregnancy test that I just happen to have because I bought a two pack a year and a half ago when I was certain I wasn't pregnant with Derrick.  It expires in February so I might as well use it up anyway."

It actually took me a day or two to find time to dig out the pregnancy test from all the moving boxes and take it.  The afternoon of Sunday the 27 of January I pulled out the test while Charlotte and Derrick were taking a nap.  Lydia was still awake and she wandered into the bathroom and watched me pee in a cup.  "Great, " I thought, "I'm going to find her trying to pee in a cup soon."

She watched me dip the stick into the cup.  As I waited for the results I thought about how this was the first pregnancy test that Brandon wasn't around for.  "Good thing this is going to be negative." I thought, "I wouldn't be able to tell him about a positive result until Thursday at the earliest."

I hadn't really paid attention to the instructions for the test.  The results came up before I had a chance to look up what symbols meant pregnant and which didn't.  "Okay, I have a plus sign." I told Lydia. "That means I'm pregnant.  WHAT THE HECK?!?"

I went in the living room, sat on the couch, and sobbed.  They were not tears of joy.

Charlotte was napping on the couch.  She woke up and asked, "Sad?"  I replied with, "I'm sad because we are going to have a new baby and I don't know what I'm going to do."

I didn't know when I was due but I could do enough math to know several things; 1. I was going to have FOUR children under the age of three for at least a couple months, 2. We needed to buy a new car, and 3. This baby would be born after Brandon was deployed to Korea.  Each one of these thoughts scared me.

Calling Brandon was not an option because he didn't have access to his phone.  Lindsey was my next choice, but I knew she was in church.  So I texted her and told her to call me when she was done.  Then I sat on the couch and cried some more.   I knew I really needed someone to tell me that having 4 kids so close together was feasible.  So I called up my dear friend Karen who had 9 kids within 12 years.  She didn't answer and so I left a message, "Hi Karen, I really need to talk to someone who isn't family right now.  Please call me back."  I hung up, remembering a sad night in 2004 when I'd called her for comfort after her son and I broke up after 2 years of dating.  If that doesn't solidify a friendship than I don't know what does.

My mom and dad called and somehow I got through a whole conversation with them without telling them about the pregnancy test. I just wasn't ready to talk to them about it yet.  I was worried that they would worry about me and the kids.

Lindsey soon called and I told her that I had a positive pregnancy test.  She could tell I was on the verge of freaking out and helped me focus. She said, "the first thing you need to do is get that confirmed by a real test at a doctors office.  Like you said that test expires next month.  It might already be screwed up.  Then, if you really are pregnant, you need to get that IUD out.  I think it fell out, but in case it didn't you need to get it out as soon as possible."  I already knew everything she was saying, but it was nice to hear her put it in a logical order.

Later Karen called me back.  When I told her the news her first response was, "Well, that will keep you from getting some of those bigger church callings."  I laughed.  She went on to reassure me that everything was going to be fine.  She reminded me that when the baby comes Derrick will be able to walk and talk.  She told me that Charlotte and Lydia will be great helpers.  She said, "once they are all potty trained it really doesn't matter how close together they all are."  And most of all she made me feel better, which is why I called her in the first place.

After I got off the phone I called my parents back and told them the news.  I figured if Karen knew I might as well let my own parents know.  They were very happy with the news and they didn't seem worried at all.        

Later that night I was on facebook and my best friend Ashley chatted me to see how I was doing.  I told her the news too.  She responded with, "I understand why you are stressed, but babies are always good news."  "Babies are always good news" became my mantra for the next few days.

I tried telling the girls about the baby.  I said, "I found out we might have a new baby."  They pointed to Derrick and said, "Baby - Derrick."

I hurried and said, "No another one.  We'll have Derrick and a new baby."

Charlotte replied with, "Nu baby, Sad Mommy."

"Oh boy," I thought.

The next day I started the fun of trying to figure out how the health care system works around here.  I eventually just called up a family clinic and asked them if I could come in for pregnancy test.  They scheduled me for one the next day.  Then I found a babysitter because there was no way on earth I was taking my three little kids with me for a pregnancy test.

I thought it would be a blood test and I would get called about it later that night.  Instead they had me do a urine test and then wait for the results.  The Doctor walked in and said, "Congratulations."

"Oh dear" I said.

"You didn't know?"  He asked.

"I was hoping the one I took was wrong.  See I have two year old twins, a 9 month old baby, and I'm supposed to have an IUD."

"Oh," was all he said.

He explained that they would have to send my information to the Army hospital on base.  That hospital has the "right to first refusal" or something.  That means they can see me if they want, but if they don't have room they will assign me somewhere else.  He said I'd get a call about it soon.  I told him to tell them to hurry because I still had that IUD that needed to come out - if it was still there.

I came home and called my sisters Emily and Hillary to let them know I was pregnant.  And then, because I figured all my siblings should know, I called up my brother Billy.  I wished I could call Brandon.

A lot of thoughts were going through my mind.  I wondered about the IUD.  Had it fallen out? Would the baby miscarry when they pulled it out?  Did I want the baby to miscarry?  Should I move back to Utah to have the baby?  Who could come here to help me? Was there anyway to keep Brandon from being deployed?  Most of these questions didn't have any real answers.

I was nervous and scared.  During bedtime on Wednesday night I was short tempered with the girls.  Then I immediately apologized to them.  I said, "Sorry, I'm just scarred because of the new baby."  Charlotte started saying, "Nu Baby, Scary."

On Thursday I found out I'd been assigned an Ob/gyn.  I called that office and they set me up for an appointment on Friday morning.  I considered asking one of my neighbors to babysit, but I called Lindsey instead.  I asked her to come up and watch the kids and then stay the day and possibly the night in case the baby miscarried.  She readily agreed.  (By the way, I'm pretty much in her debt forever after all the help she's given me this last month.)

Friday the 1st of February I drove to the doctors office.  I'd hoped that Brandon would be able to call me by Thursday night, but so far I hadn't heard from him.  As I sat in the examining room I thought about how much I wished Brandon could be with me.  I also found myself missing my Doctor from Utah.  She'd delivered the other three kids, and I had a hard time imagining what it would be like to work with another doctor.

Finally she came in and introduced herself.  I liked her beside manner right away, and I my fears of having a new doctor left.  She talked to me about the risks of leaving an IUD in verses taking it out.  Then she did an examination to see where the IUD was.  She said, "Oh I can see it.  It's down in your cervix and not in your uterus."  That pretty much answered the question of how I got pregnant with an IUD.  Then she did an ultrasound to see if I had a visible fetus and where it was in relation to the IUD.

With awe in her voice she said, "here is a baby with a heart beat."

"Make sure there is only one."  I said.

There was only one baby, it looked like a blob, and it was no where near the IUD.  The doctor removed the IUD.  She told me that there haven't been studies on the miscarriage risks associated with taking an IUD out of a cervix so she couldn't tell me whether or not to expect one.  However, she did say, "this is better."

I made sure she gave me a picture of the baby because I knew Brandon wouldn't believe I was pregnant without a picture.

Then I drove home.  Lindsey was excited to hear that everything seemed to be okay.  She said, "lets celebrate!" And went and bought KFC for all of us.  Then she stayed the night to make sure everything was okay.  Our kids had lots of fun together.  I think it was the first time that all 5 of them were feeling well at the same time this month.

Saturday night Brandon finally got his phone back.  I'd been debating how to tell him all week.  He's had such a crazy past 5 months that I wasn't sure how he would react to news about a baby.  I ended up saying, "I have news that I'm not sure if I should wait to tell you until you come home.  I don't want to stress you out."

He said, "I'm fine.  I'm really relaxed.  Why?  Like on a scale of one to ten how big of news is it?"

"Oh a nine, as in life changing."

"You're not pregnant are you?"

"I am."  I said with a nervous laugh.

"How?"  Was all he could say.

I explained everything to him.  To his credit, he was very positive about the news.  He had the same concerns I did about the deployment, the car, and how close in age the kids would be but overall he was really excited.

As soon as I told Brandon about the baby I felt like a thousand pound weight was off of my back.  There were still a million decisions to make, but at least I knew we would be making them together.

I've spent the last week taking it pretty easy (meaning I stayed in my pajamas all day and didn't feel guilty about it.)  Now I'm basically out of the danger zone for having a miscarriage due to removing the IUD.  I'm excited for this baby too.  Yes there are a lot of uncertainties, but in other ways things are better than they have been for any of my other pregnancies.  For one, this is the first of our pregnancies that Brandon isn't going to be unemployed for some part of it.  Also this will be our first non-medicaid baby.  And now we have plenty of room in our house for "Baby D."

Anyway, like I always say, "Life changes fast."

I know you have a few questions so here are the answers.

When are you due?
Right, now the due date is September 1st.  But I think that it will change to later in September once we do a growth ultrasound.

How far along are you?
According to my last period, about 10 weeks.  According to some other info, I think that is a little further along than I really am.  I'm actually really proud of myself for catching on the the fact that I was pregnant while I was still in my first trimester.  Third times the charm right?

Just how close together will your kids be?
Derrick will be 18 months on October 8th and this baby is due before that so less than 18 months apart - again.  And Charlotte and Lydia wont be 3 until the end of October.

Are you okay with that?
I'm terrified.  And yet I'm also okay with it.  At least I'll only have one 18 month old this time.  And Derrick has started sleeping through the night so hopefully I'll only have to do night feedings with one baby this time around.

Do you think its a boy or a girl?
Boy.  I crave hamburger like nothing else.  So I think it's a boy.

Will you find out the gender before the baby is born?
Yes, I've already had enough surprises from this baby.

Do the kids have any idea what is going on?
Charlotte and Lydia sort of do.  They've stopped calling the baby "scary."  They seem to understand that sometime in the future we will have another baby around.  I swear Derrick knows too.  When I suspected that I was pregnant I asked him if he knew anything and he just laughed at me mischievously   He laughed again when I told him I was having a baby.  Of course he laughs all the time so that just might be a coincidence.

What are you going to do about Brandon's deployment?
No clue.  Though I will say that this has put, "Get accepted to Warrant Officer Flight Training" to the top of our priorities.