Inspiration: Going to church - no matter what

Several years ago, before Brandon and I even considered adding the Army to our list of life experiences, I heard a talk that comes back to my mind a lot these days.

It was High Counsel Sunday in our Branch and the High Counsel member had asked his wife to be the other speaker.  She spoke about how her husband was a member of the Air force Reserve.  When their children were little it seemed that he was always on assignment during Stake Conference.  She and the kids would always go to stake conference without him - and it was usually pretty hard.  One of her friends once asked her, "why do you even bother coming without your husband?  Everyone would understand if you stayed home?"  She responded with, "I want the kids to know that going to church isn't just something we do when Dad is around."

At the time Brandon and I were in the middle of wrangling the twins who were probably about a year old.  I'm sure the sister could see us in the congregation and assumed that we weren't listening to a word she said.  But I was listening. I thought about how hard it was to get the girls to church every week.  Sometimes I wondered what the point was for torturing ourselves with waking them up from naps, getting them ready, and then trying to keep them quiet for three hours.  The talk reminded me that church isn't just something we do when it is convenient.

Little did I know that within a year I would become a military wife myself.  But when it did happen I thought of her talk every week.  I took the kids to church by myself because I wanted them to know that church was something that was always part of our lives.

Today was my most recent adventure with taking the kids to church by myself.  I was a little nervous because the last time I did it - back in January - things had not gone well at all. We'd been late, Charlotte had a fever, Derrick learned to walk along the bench, we only had one binkie, and to top it all off I was so new in the ward I didn't know anyone to sit with.  I ended up taking two screaming twins out of the meeting while holding on to Derrick.  Three women followed after us and helped get the kids calmed down.  They even went back for all the stuff we'd left behind. It was awfully embarrassing and I almost considered never going back to church again.

If you can believe it, the day got even worse - a few hours later I found out I was pregnant with Baby D.  I've told you how I called my friend Karen for reassurance that having 4 kids close together was possible.  Well, she also helped me feel better about how my hour at church had gone.  She told me how she'd been nursing one of her babies in the mother's lounge when she thought she could hear someone playing the organ pedals during someone's talk.  When she got back into Sacrament Meeting she discovered it was her own child crawling over the pedals.  As always, Karen cheered me up and gave me the courage to keep on going with life.

So anyway, I was a little apprehensive about how Sacrament Meeting would go today without Brandon.  But I planned accordingly.  Several weeks ago I asked my friend if we could sit with her family.  She has several teenagers that I figured would love to play with my kids during Sacrament Meeting.  Yesterday I took a shower so I wouldn't need to today.  I also packed the diaper bag and my lesson bag and put them in the car.  Then this morning I got up, got dressed, woke the kids up, got them dressed, fed them breakfast, did the girls' hair  while they ate their cereal, put shoes on everyone, and got us out the door in plenty of time.  We arrived early enough to save our spot and take a few laps around the building to "get wiggles out."

Sacrament meeting itself was pretty uneventful - not counting the Cheerios Lydia spilled all over the aisle (a nice lady helped pick them up).  Or the fact that Charlotte and Lydia spent the whole closing song and prayer laying in the aisle crying about how they wanted to go to nursery.

The rest of church was another story. I ended up with 18 (EIGHTEEN!) 8 to 11 year olds in my Primary class.  Thanks to the other Sr Primary teachers flaking out, Brandon and I've been teaching the whole Sr Primary for the past 6 weeks.  It hasn't been a problem until today though.  Without Brandon around to be intimidating the boys all acted up.  We ended up sending for help and finding another teacher for all the rowdy boys.   Then the girls and I had a nice quiet lesson.  (Don't get me wrong - I love the boys.  They are usually really fun.  They nicknamed Derrick "Flash" because he crawls so fast.  They were so excited that he'd learned to walk.  But today they were just too much.)  

When I brought my class into Singing Time my friend asked how my week without Brandon was going.  I told her, "That was the worst hour so far."

I used to joke that the church must be true because otherwise there was no way on earth I would wake up my kids from a nap to go.  Even now, with all the things I have to do to go to church it is still worth it.  There is a strength and peace that comes into my life from feeling the spirit at church each week.  So even though it's hard work and I just want a nap afterward, I will continue to take my family to church.

Wish me luck though - next week I agreed to speak in Sacrament Meeting.  

Inspiration: I want to see you smiling

I finished reading the Mistborn Trilogy while Brandon was away in January.  The third book in the series, The Hero of Ages, was amazing.  Everything came together so well.  There were revelations about characters that blew me away.  And the ending, WOW the ending.  Honestly this is probably the first trilogy that I've ever read where the third book didn't leave me disappointed (cough Hunger Games cough).  I would even go so far to say that this book surpassed the final Harry Potter book in its ability to wonderfully, and yet chillingly, wrap up a story.

I wish I could talk to you in detail about why I love this series, but that would give away too many of the fun surprises.  Let me just say that while I was reading the first book I was shocked at least 5 times by different plot turns.  Reading these books is a rare literary pleasure. Here is a brief synopsis that sadly doesn't convey how good these books are.

The story centers on a young girl named Vin who is a Mistborn - meaning she can metabolize metals in her body to give her extra powers.  For instance "burning" pewter makes her stronger.  She joins with a group of thieves who also have powers from metals.  The thieves are lead by a man named Kelsier who is planning to overthrow the distopian government known as The Final Empire.

Okay lets stop there.  If you are like me your eyes are rolling back in your head and you are thinking, "Weird  fantasy book alert!"  And yes there are some fantasy elements.  But it's so much more than that.  It's well written with lots of cool battles and killing.  The characters seem real, the world is believable, and important lessons are learned about friendship, trust, leadership, responsibility, morality, etc.

For instance, here is a quote that I loved from the the third book.  This is from page 117.  Things seem pretty bleak and Elend Venture gives this little speech.  Consider this your inspirational quote for the week.

"We can survive this.  But, the only way that will happen is if our people don't give up.  They need leaders who laugh, leaders who feel this fight can be won.  So, this is what I ask of you.  I don't care if you are an optimist or a pessimist - I don't care if secretly, you think we'll all be dead before the month ends.  On the outside, I want to see you smiling.  Do it in defiance, if you have to.  If the end does come, I want this group to meet that end smiling . . . "

I love the idea of smiling in defiance.  A few months ago someone told me, "it doesn't take much to get you to laugh."  Which is true.  I laugh at everything - even things that I really shouldn't laugh about.  But laughing and joking about things like money problems, health concerns, car breakdowns, and other worries, helps me feel like I am still somewhat in control.  It's like no matter what life dishes out I am still in charge of my attitude.

Anyway, read the Mistborn books. They are good.  So good that Brandon and I are seriously tempted to name Baby D Vin if it is a girl.  And smile through life.  That's good too.  

Inspiration: Confidence in our children

When I posted the parenting advise from Marjorie Hinckley two weeks ago, it reminded me of some other stories from Gordon B Hinckley's biography, "Go Forward with Faith."  These stories are from the chapter titled, Life with Father pages 172-174.  

Of course my kids aren't teenagers yet so we are at least a few years away from giving them this kind of independence.  But I think it's never too early to let your kids know that you trust them to make good decisions. 

Somehow Gordon and Marjorie managed to monitor what went on in their children's lives while staying far enough in the background for them to learn to make their own decisions.  As a senior in high school, Kathy learned that she was expected to purchase a pin to graduate from seminary.  The pin cost $4.50, which seemed extravagant for something she would never wear again, so she and several friends elected not to purchase the jewelry   As graduation approached  however, everyone but Kathy responded to the seminary principal's urging to buy the pins, and she ultimately stood alone in her boycott.  They situation was made more awkward when Gordon was invited to speak at the graduation banquet, and the principal feared embarrassment when everyone but Kathy received a pin.  By now, however, the issue had become a matter of principle, and Kathy refused to change her position.  

One evening the phone rang.  From her father's side of the conversation Kathy could tell that her principal was reciting the seminary-pin crisis.  "Oh really?  Well, I guess that's her decision," Gordon said, ending the conversation.  

"That was the principal calling about the seminary pin," he reported to her. 

"I don't want to spend $4.50 on that pin," Kathy explained.  "But it might be awkward for me to go the the banquet if I am the only one who won't receive one," she added.  

"Oh well," her father responded, "you've heard everything I have to say."

Kathy did not purchase a pin, nor did she go to the banquet.  "Neither Mother nor Dad ever said another word about it to me," she said.  "I am sure they wondered why I couldn't just conform, but I had made a choice and they respected it.  That incident was one of the things that taught me what was important to them - it was me, and not a seminary pin."  

On another occasion Kathy's Sunday School teacher insisted that the entire class bear their testimonies the following Sunday during testimony meeting.  Kathy was annoyed at the attempt to force something so personal on her, and she announced to her family that she had no intention of participating.  Again, her parents declined to make and issue of the situation.  "Mother and Dad operated on the principle the we were intelligent and could make our own decisions," she explained.  "They didn't throw up fences, and so there was nothing to jump over.  They let me test my wings and figure out things for myself, trusting that I would eventually come to the conclusions they hoped I could make in the first place."

Each of Kathy's brothers and sisters had similar experiences.  Ginny's attendance at MIA was less than perfect during her senior year in high school.  There weren't many other girls her age in the ward, and with her heavy load at school she sometimes stayed home to study.  At one point, the YWMIA president called on Gordon and Marjorie to explain that because of Virginia's inconsistent attendance her sixth and final Individual Award- an annual recognition based heavily on attendance - was in jeopardy.  Suffering from the hypersensitivity of adolescence, Ginny was sure that the leaders were less concerned about her well being than about how it would look to have Gordon Hinckley's daughter not receive an award.  After the leaders left neither parent said anything about the conversation to their daughter.  

 . . . 

For Marjorie, there were certain kinds of things that didn't merit intervention, anxiety or worse, punishment; most definitely they weren't worth creating conflict between parent and child. "I learned that I needed to trust my children," she said later. "so I tried to never say no if I could possibly say yes.  When we were raising a family, it was a matter of getting through every day and having a little fun along the way.  As I could see that I wasn't going to be able to make all my children's decisions anyway.  I tried not to worry about every little thing.  I think that came from my parent, because they had absolute confidence in me and my siblings.  As hard as it has been at times, Gordon and I tried to have the same confidence in our children."  

Inspiration: Save the Relationship

Years ago when I was still in high school I read, "Glimpses into the life and heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley." I loved the book so much that I bought the book as a present for myself on my 21st birthday.  Today I want to share some parenting advise from the book that I think about all the time.

The book is made up of stories and recollections of Sister Hinckley's family members.  This one is told by her daughter-in-law Kathleen.

In my early years of motherhood, I would call my mother-in-law any time I needed some advise about the dilemmas of child rearing.  She would listen with compassion and without criticism.  Even though I was thousands of miles away, she could relate exactly.

  . . . the concern was about swimming lessons.  All the mothers were tossing their reluctant, screaming children into the teacher's outstretched arms in the pool.  I just could not bring myself to do the same, but I did want my son to learn to swim.  When I called her for advise, she verbalized something I would say over and over to myself for years to come, "Just save the relationship."  I believe those words are the most simple and powerful parenting principle I have ever learned.  Long before she verbalized this principle to me, I had seen her as a living example of it.  

I first became acquainted with the Hinckley family in Boston.  Clark, to whom I was about to become engaged, was graduating from business school in a few weeks, and several members of the family gathered in Boston to attend his graduation on June 12, 1973.

One hot, muggy day I was with the extended family on the subway speeding toward downtown Boston from Cambridge when we realized that Clark's two year old nephew had stripped to his diapers.  Without missing a beat in the conversation, Grandma dressed him.  Before anyone knew it, he had taken his clothes off.  She put them on and then they were off again!  Giggling, Clark's mother said, "It's just too hot for clothes," and the happy two year old spent the day sightseeing in diapers.  It was my first introduction to the Hinckley way of allowing each family member, whenever possible, to be himself.  I was being taught that even two year olds have feelings that are important and respected.  

A couple years later, that same little boy did not have any desire to be in the family photograph.  Every encouraging antic was preformed in hopes of enticing the reluctant child to line up with the family.  After all, we were gathered in Salt Lake from all over the world - Hawaii to New York - and no one knew when we would be together again for such an opportunity.  However, I remember the amazement I felt when the prevailing attitude in Grandma's living room that afternoon was that it was no big deal.  Nobody got really tense, and sooner or later - I don't remember exactly how - the picture was taken and we were all in it.  

In the meantime all the relationships were saved.

 I'm by no means perfect at this, but I try all the time.  When I'm tempted to get mad at the kids for some minor infraction I try to see things from their point of view.  A lot of times they are just playing and exploring the world.

Inspiration: No Coincidences

Now that I'm no longer teaching Gospel Doctrine on a weekly basis I plan on starting up my Sunday Inspiration posts again.  I'll keep these up as long as I don't have a demanding calling.  (And after the drama the twins pulled on me today during Sacrament meeting I'd be surprised if this ward gave me a calling at all.)

Anyway, here's your inspiration for today.  This happens to be my own story and not a conference talk.

I wont lie.  It's been hard giving up my awesome support system that I had in Utah.  I miss being able to send out a text and have a babysitter at my door within a few minutes.  But I'm working on getting a new system set up.  I'm making friends with the neighbors and (trying) to attend church to meet people.

On Thursday, though, I felt very alone.  Our stuff had been delivered and the furniture was placed.  That was awesome.  But later that day I noticed Lydia laying on the floor.  I asked her if she was okay and she gave a tiny shake of her head.  As I helped her onto the couch I could tell she was burning up with a fever.

I gave her medicine and water.  Then I put on a movie and held her while she fell asleep.  I told her, "Thanks for waiting to get sick until after we had a couch and TV again."

I really wanted someone to come give her a blessing.  But I didn't know anyone's phone number off hand.  I was about to go look up the online ward directory when I remembered that someone had called my phone earlier.  I was shocked when I listened to the voice mail message.  It was from the Fort Hood Military Relations Missionary couple.  Sister Smith explained that she'd heard we were moving to Fort Hood and she wanted to see if we needed anything.  The timing couldn't have been better.  I called her right back and left a message asking for her husband to come give Lydia a blessing.

Soon they called back and then were on their way to my house.  When Elder and Sister Smith arrived they explained that they got my contact information from the Edwards' who were one of the Sr Missionary couples in my Bountiful Branch.  Brother and Sister Edwards' son married the Smith's daughter. I was happy to hear that.  During our last two months in Bountiful we'd started sitting in front of the Edwards' during Sacrament meeting.  The girls would take turns sitting with them.  Sister Edwards always had fun things in her bag for the girls to play with.  I vaguely remembered the Sister Edwards telling me that they had friends on a mission in Fort Hood, but I'd mostly forgotten about it.  

I was happy that our furniture had arrived and the Smiths had somewhere to sit.  They sat down and talked to me for a while.  I'm glad they talked to me.  I didn't know it, but I was craving a conversation with older people.  I loved the 2.5 years hanging out with Sr Missionary couples in the branch.  I think I like the fact that they aren't currently burdened with trying to potty train or debating whether to nurse or bottle feed.  They moved on from that phase of their lives years ago.  They are a nice reminder that there is life after young children.

Brother Smith had asked our LDS neighbor from up the street to come help with the blessing.  He showed up and both men gave Lydia a blessing.  I don't remember what they said, but it calmed me down.  A little while later Lydia was running around like she was just fine.  (The fruit snacks Brother Smith gave her also might have helped.)

I'm so amazed at the timing of it all.  They called me almost exactly when I needed them.  I keep thinking about something President Monson often says, "There are no coincidences."  Things like this help me remember that I'm never truly alone.

Inspiration: Feeling Prayers

A few years ago I started noticing when people used phrases such as "I've felt your prayers in my behalf."  Being me, my first thought was usually, "oh what does that even mean? How can you feel a prayer?"

Well during the last month I've learned what it means.

It means having a productive day while running on only 6 hours of sleep.  It means getting a shower because all three children miraculously went down for a nap at the same time.  It means neighbors stopping by at the right moment- or even the wrong one.  It means children happily playing long enough to make dinner.  It means safely shepparding 2 toddlers across a parking lot while holding a baby carrier and a diaper bag.

And especially it means always feeling calm and peace no matter what craziness is going on.    

So many people have told me that they are praying for Brandon and our family.  In addition to all of those prayers our names have been added to the prayer roll at many temples.  And I can honestly say that I have felt those prayers.

During the past 4 weeks I have felt a power enter my life that has helped me do things I thought were impossible 5 weeks ago.

Miraculous changes have occurred.  Most of the changes are small, but their impact is huge.  Lydia no longer cries at my legs when I try to get something done in the kitchen.  Charlotte will come when I call her instead of wandering off when we are at the park or library.  Derrick will easily go back to sleep when I feed him in the night.  If these aren't miracles then I don't know what are.

Tonight I had a touching experience with prayer.

We were watching a family video.  It was from the first year Brandon and I were married.  The girls loved pointing out Daddy and Mama. I loved the fact that they recognized my younger and skinnier self as their Mama (and that they finally learned to say Mama).

Out of nowhere I suddenly heard my cell phone start playing Brandon's ring tone.  I wasn't expecting him to get phone privileges until November or something so I was over joyed!  We were able to talk for 10 wonderful minutes.  The girls even said hello at the end of the phone call.

When the call was over we went back to watching the family video.  And when that was over I decided to put on our wedding video.  I guess the girls had had enough of seeing and hearing Daddy without being with daddy.  They both started crying and saying "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy."

It was close to bedtime so I hurried and got them in their pajamas.  They kept sobbing and asking for Daddy even after I put them in bed with their binkies and bottles.  So I did the only thing I could think of - I prayed. I asked Heavenly Father to help them understand that their Daddy loves them, that he wishes he could be with them, and that he will come home again.  I asked that they be given peace and comfort.  And I kid you not, both of them were asleep within minutes of saying amen.    

Prayer works.  I knew that before, but now I understand it more deeply.  Thank you all for your prayers in our behalf.  They have not been in vain.

Inspiration: Our deepest fear

For the past year I've had a quote from Marianne Williamson taped to my bathroom mirror.  I first heard this quote at my Stake's RS Women's conference.  I loved it the minute I heard it, but I forgot who said it.  I came home and told Brandon about it.  He immediately pulled out his mission quote book and found the same quote in there.  Then a few weeks later it was printed in the branch RS newsletter.  I knew it had to be the quote for this year.  Here it is:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This past year has been an interesting one for me.  I've done a lot of "hard things," and I think I've succeeded at many of them.  And as I've done these things, and blogged about doing them, I've worried.  Worried that I'm making some of you feel bad, because you haven't done these things.  I worry that you read my blog or see me and want to punch me in the face because I'm succeeding at something you aren't.

But when I have that worry I see this quote.  And I think that maybe I'm helping some of you feel like you can do hard things too.  I'm trying to let my light shine.  I'm trying to be liberated from my fear.  And I'm trying to help liberate you.

PS: This has been the hardest post to write EVER!  I've been evaluating every word and phrase to make sure it doesn't sound arrogant. Paragraphs have been rearranged like crazy.  Half of it has been deleted.  Sorry, if it still sounds arrogant.

PSS: I love reading your blogs, facebook updates, and seeing you in person.  The things that you do give me encouragement.  Please keep them coming.

PSSS: If you want to punch me in the face you might feel better if I tell you that this morning Brandon and I took 3 babies to our regional stake conference broadcast.  It was 2 hours that took every trick in the book to survive.  I'm so glad we weren't sitting by anyone we knew.  

Inspiration: Leave it like it is

About two weeks ago the girls were "helping" me in my room.  They found a box of screws that Brandon had left on one of his tool shelves.  My first thought was, "when will Brandon learn that he needs to put things like this on the higher shelves?"  I thought about the stern reminder that I could give him when he came home from work. Didn't he understand that the girls got into EVERYTHING within reach?  Didn't he understand that the girls screamed bloody murder whenever I tried to take things like this away from them?  

And then as soon as those thoughts went through my mind I had another thought.  In four months Brandon will be gone for a while.  His tools will stay in their places on the shelves unless I move them.  The girls wont be unlatching his tool box, pulling out his mud trowel, finding his rope, or getting into the screw box.  And that thought made me sad.  As nice as it will be to not worry about the girls breaking his tools - I'd rather have Brandon around.  

So I let the girls play with the screws.  They put them in piles on the floor, then moved them to piles on my bed, then put them back in the box, and then put them in piles on the floor again.  I went and made bread while they were distracted.  

While I worked on the bread I thought about how fleeting everything is. The words to "Leave it like it is" by Cherrie Call kept running through my head.  The song is all about the way I was feeling.  In a few years the kids will be in school and I'll be working. All I'll have left are the memories of this time.  I think that's why I blog so much.  I want to remember all the silly little things that happened during this part of my life.  

In that spirit here are pictures from the last two months set to "Leave it like it is."

Inspiration: The important things are the same

Me, Lindsey, and Emily in 1989

Almost five years ago my sister Lindsey and I each got married two weeks apart.  It was a crazy time for my family to say the least.  We had my wedding on May 17, my reception on May 18, Lindsey's open house on May 25, Billy's 16th birthday on May 31, Emily graduated from high school on June 1st, Lindsey was married and had her reception on June 2, and Hillary turned 14 on June 3rd.  In addition to all that there were end of the year choir and band concerts and Emily went to prom the day after my wedding reception.  By the time we celebrated Hillary's birthday we were all so sick of cake that we just shoved together and re-frosted leftover pieces of cake from Lindsey's reception to serve as a birthday cake - which no one really ate.

To make things even crazier, Lindsey and I are two very different people so naturally we had two very different wedding plans.  I was married in the Bountiful Temple, she was married in the St. George Temple.  My colors were pink and yellow, hers were purple and green. My reception was in doors, hers was outdoors.  My dress was straight, hers was poofy.  The list goes on. I think there were only two things that we could use for both weddings 1. A trellis with artificial Wisteria flowers.  2. The white bridesmaid shoes.

Lindsey and John (Sorry, I'm in a hurry and I don't have time to rotate it)

There was one other thing that was the same.  We were each sealed to our husbands for time and all eternity inside a holy temple.  I will always remember how I felt when I saw Lindsey walk into the sealing room on her wedding day.  She was wearing the exact same type of ceremonial clothing as I had worn when I was sealed.  (Well almost, we'd each picked out a different style temple dress.)  The words of the ceremony were the exact same.  Despite all our differences the most important thing was the same. 

Last night Brandon and I were able to go to the temple and do sealings with other members of our branch.  As we acted as proxy for people who had died over a hundred years ago, I again thought about much I love the consistency of the sealing ceremony.  Their lives were so very different from our own, but the fact that they are now sealed for time and all eternity is the same.  

Derrick was born almost a month ago.  Ten days later Lindsey gave birth to her own baby boy, Knoxx.  This was the first time any of my sisters and I had been (knowingly) pregnant at the same time.  As you can probably guess, we handled our pregnancies differently. I announced my pregnancy on facebook and this blog pretty much as soon as the primary family members had been told.  Lindsey never really announced it to the online community - she just posted pictures and everybody eventually caught on.  I wanted to find out the gender of my baby, Lindsey didn't at first.  I decided I liked the name Derrick at around 20 weeks.  Lindsey settled on Knoxx about 2 days after he was born.  The births also were different, and so were the ways we wrote about them.  Here is Knoxx's birth story.    

Derrick

Knoxx

But again, despite all the differences there is one thing that is the same.  Derrick and Knoxx are each sealed to their parents for time and all eternity.  Last night, Brandon and I were able to act as proxy for parents while another man acted as proxy for sons.  It was interesting to think about the other side of the veil.  Were the parents just as eager to be sealed to their son as we had been for the birth of Derrick?  I like to think so. 

Inspiration: Kids and Church

We just finished our first sacrament meeting as a family of five.  Survived is probably a better word.  I told Brandon he wasn't allowed to pass the sacrament this week.  I needed him on the bench to help with the girls and Derrick.  It actually went okay for the most part.  The girls had fun exploring my brand new diaper bag, they played with toys, sang along with the hymns, and ate/spilled kix.  We made it through about 55 minutes before we all ended up in the foyer.

And despite the slight embarrassment from having three noisy kids in a branch without many children, it was totally worth it.  We heard two amazing talks on strengthening our marriage and prayer. We also were able to take the sacrament for the first time in 3 weeks. We missed church last week (thanks to Derrick), and the week before was conference.  I really wanted to go today and get spiritually recharged.

When the girls were born we went to church at the hospital for two weeks.  Then when they came home from the hospital we missed church because we were exhausted.  Brandon went by the church after the meetings to drop off tithing.  He talked to the Branch President for a little bit and received some advise.  One thing in particular stood out.  It is my inspirational thought of the week for you.  The advise was:

"Don't let those kids become an excuse for going inactive."

We have been to church every week since then.  Sometimes it has just been to Sacrament meeting, sometimes its at other wards, but we have been there.  And when the girls are raising a ruckus I don't have to wonder if the Branch President wishes we would just stay home so everyone else could feel the spirit.  Instead I know that we are just as welcome as anyone and that we are exactly where we need to be - noisy kids and all.

On a related note - I've been released as second counselor in the Relief Society.  It's a bittersweet change.  Bitter because I loved that calling.  I loved planning activities, conducting meetings, and getting to know the sisters.  It is a sweet change because it was time to get released.  Brandon's calling takes up a lot of time and energy.  Three kids take up a lot of time and energy.  The biggest reason I'm glad for the change is that we only have a few more months together as a family before Brandon leaves. I didn't want my calling to compete with family togetherness time.

My new calling is Relief Society teacher - this was actually my old calling.  In my opinion, RS teacher is one of the easiest callings.  I only have to worry about teaching, for 45 minutes once a month.  I read the lesson on Sunday, think about it all week, plan it on Saturday, give it on Sunday, and do nothing the rest of the month.  Plus teaching is fun for me.   I'm really happy about the change.

I'm also really happy that the girls go to nursery.  Right now me and Derrick are home chilling out on the couch. (Sacrament meeting was enough for me to feel spiritually recharged this soon after having a baby.)  The only thing preventing me from getting in my pajamas is the fact that I have to go back to the church and get set apart for my new calling.

Inspiration: Do the things that are necessary

Back in January when we were deciding whether or not Brandon should join the military it seemed ALL we talked about was the military.  So to distract myself I started reading Work and the Glory Volume 9.  Some distraction it turned out to be.  A major plot point in the book revolves around the Saints call to join the Mormon Battalion.  I felt like the following quotes from Brigham Young were speaking directly to me.

"I know what many of you are thinking. You are concerned about your circumstances.  Well, I am as well acquainted with the situation of every man in camp as they are themselves.  But now the surrounding circumstances must recede from our minds.  Let go of them.  We may as well consider ourselves in good circumstances as in bad ones.  

"But says one, 'I will go if my family can be made comfortable.' I told my brethren not to mention families today.  I am aware it is desirable, were it our privilege, to have every man's presence in the camp to take care of his family and team and go along to the West.  There are no more men here than what are badly needed.  But these feelings must be dispensed with.  We have to learn to control our feelings and act according to our best judgement.  

"My experience has taught me that it is best to do the things that are necessary. I have learned to do the necessary thing independent of my feelings and at the expense of everything near and dear to me.  May of us have been called upon to forsake the society of friends, wives and children, and you will all be brought into a situation to learn the same lesson.

"The blessings we are looking forward to receive will only be attained through sacrifice . . . If we want to privilege of going where we can worship God according to our consciences, we must raise the battalion.  I say that it is right.  Who cares for sacrificing our comfort for a few years?"

After I finished reading these section I knew that Brandon should join the military, and that I would fully support him in it.  I don't know why he is supposed to do this.  But I know it is right.

Inspiration: A Gift of the Scriptures

When I was 10 years old my parents gave me my very own scriptures.  They had previously belonged to my Aunt Diane, and for a while the cover still had her name on them.  Soon my Dad had her name taken off and my name put on.  The scriptures were a pretty maroon color.  They even came with a matching case.  They were also huge.  They had to have been about 10 inches tall and 6 or 7 inches across. They weighed a ton which I liked because when you are 10 physical weight equals importance.  Best of all they were a "quad" meaning the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price were all in one book.  None of the other kids my age had their own quad. All through the rest of Primary and the Young Women I proudly took those scriptures to church with me each week.

In 9th grade I started taking seminary.  I was faced with a dilemma. I needed scriptures in seminary, but I also needed a set of scriptures to study at home.  At first I brought my beloved quad with me to seminary and then took it home on weekends. But gradually I stopped doing that.  The scriptures were just too big to comfortably carry around in addition to all my school books.

By the time I was a Sr in high school my quad stayed at home.  In seminary I used my "girls camp scriptures."  These were scriptures that were old enough to comfortably take camping.  They weren't fancy or even very nice looking anymore.  The Book of Mormon had been my dad's at some point, and his notes were in the margins.  The cover was pretty beat up so I sewed a new one out of pink suede.  The bible was one from DI that I'd bought so I wouldn't have to worry about it getting wet.  It had the name Linda Kay on the cover.  She'd marked her scriptures in crayon.  I sewed a suede cover for that book as well, but it didn't fit quite right and I never had time to fix it.

These old scriptures became my favorite scriptures.  They were the ones that ended up with all the good markings. When I graduated from seminary they became my church scriptures.  My old quad was still important to me, but it was too big and heavy to be of any use on a daily basis.  Eventually I gave it to my Mom who liked the bigger print in it.

For almost 10 years I carried around a pink suede Book of Mormon and a Bible that had someone else's name on it. I took them to church each week, and proudly read out of them.  At night I'd read them.  One year I read the Bible dictionary for my scripture study and marked it up almost more than the actual scriptures.

And then I had twins.  I stopped bringing my scriptures to church because the chances of opening them were next to nothing.  I also started doing my personal scripture study with the girls each night.  I'd just read out of a regular Book of Mormon that I kept in their room.  My old beat up scriptures were forgotten.

I didn't realize how forgotten they were until I found a pink suede Book of Mormon under the Relief Society Room pulpit.  I left it there after teaching 2 months before, and I hadn't even missed it.  I soon discovered that my Linda Bible wasn't in my scripture case either.  

On the first Sunday in February I taught again.  As just a silly aside I mentioned that I'd misplaced my scriptures after the last time I taught.  I told everyone about my missing DI Linda Bible and jokingly asked them to be on the look out for it. I didn't think I'd see it again, but I knew I could get another one from the DI.

The next Sunday, Sister J who is one of the Sr Missionaries, came up to me while I was trying to get the girls settled in nursery.  They were crying and I was distracted.  So when she said, "I have something for you" I didn't even have time to think.  She put a set of scriptures down in front of me.  It had the name "Valerie Illguth" engraved in gold on the cover.  The first thing that went through my mind was, "That's not mine.  It doesn't say Linda."  And then I realized what I was looking at.

"Oh my gosh!"  was all I could say.  Sister J gave told me she loved me, and hurried out of the room while I was still in shock.  I just stood there and looked at the perfect sized maroon quad that had my own name on it.  I couldn't believe what I saw.

Sister J didn't know it, but she gave me more than just scriptures.  I'd been feeling a little alone the last few days.  I was wondering how I was going to handle taking care of three kids under the age of 2.  In theory, I knew that the members of my Branch would be willing to help me, but I didn't know for sure.  I was wondering if I would be able to depend on anyone.  This gift let me know that I was being watched out for, that the people of my Branch would take care of me, and that they loved me.

I know that we can always find the answers to our problems by reading our scriptures.  Now I know that sometimes scriptures themselves are the answer.  

And what about the Linda Bible?  Well, my visiting teacher found it a few days after I was given my new set. So I still have my old scriptures with all the markings and notes I've put into them over the past 10 or so years.  And I have a brand new set that I can start reading and marking up.

Inspiration: Happy Ironing!

A few months ago someone called me a domestic engineer. I could have punched him. I don't need some made up title to make me feel better about being home with my kids. This is something I chose to do, not something I did because I couldn't think of anything else to do other than get married and have babies.

You may wonder if I ever think that it was a waste of time to go to college for 4 1/2 years just to stay home with two (and soon three) small babies? Well the answer is no. It was not a waste of time. First of all I don't plan on staying home forever. Eventually my kids will grow up and go to school and I'll need something to do during the day. But even now while they are small I'm glad I have a Bachelors degree in Economics. I learned so much about the world and about myself by going to college.

Sometimes as I clean up the house I think about this quote that I read when I was first trying to pick a major. It is from the book “Glimpses into the life and heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley.”

At my wedding shower Grandma gave me an iron with a card that read “Happy Ironing! The most enjoyable of all household duties. Love Grandma H.” It reminded me of when I was trying to decide on a major in college. Grandma told me to study something other than home economics so that when I was at home doing the ironing I would have something interesting to think about. Now when I pull my old iron off the shelf and run it over a wrinkled blouse, I think of sonnets and Shakespeare . . . and I think of Grandma and smile.

Celia B Benson a granddaughter to Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I never iron so this doesn't quite apply to me. But every time I make bread I think about marginal cost and marginal revenue. My bread recipe makes two loaves of bread. But it doesn't take much extra effort to double the recipe and make 4 loaves of bread. The marginal revenue goes up by two and the marginal cost in time hardly goes up at all. Which equals a marginal profit of 2 loaves of bread. (I'm ignoring the cost of ingredients in this example) The same theory also sort of applies to twins. If I'm already sitting there spoon feeding one baby it really doesn't cost that much in time to add another baby. See my degree was worth it!

Inspiration: The wind did never cease

Sometimes I am afraid that we are never going to be "blessed" in this life.  By blessed I mean that maybe we won't be temporally blessed.  That we will just go through life with a happy, but poor family.  And then in the millennium, or after death, or in the Celestial Kingdom we will receive our reward, and it will be so great that we won't care about our little financial worries that we had when we were mortals.

But then I remember that Heavenly Father often does bless people temporally and in this life. Recently a few scriptures in Ether Chapter 6 reminded me of the fact that Heavenly Father is leading us to our land of promise.  Here are the scriptures with my thoughts as I read them in blue.    

 5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

 6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

I need to remember that just because there are strong winds and mountain waves it doesn't mean that I am not doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do.    

 7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

 8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.

Even though things get hard Heavenly Father was always leading them toward the promised land.  In fact, it was the strong wind that was pushing them toward the promised land.  And it NEVER stopped blowing in the right direction. So maybe the hard things in my life are pushing me toward my promised land. 

 9 And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.

 10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.

 11 And thus they were driven forth, three hundred and forty and four days upon the water.

WHAT?  344 days?  That's almost a year!  Well I guess my problems aren't going to go away overnight either. 

 12 And they did land upon the shore of the promised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them.

 They did get there!  So can I.  So will I.

Inspiration: Daily Bread

This might be a little too applicable right now, but I've been thinking about it a lot so I figured it should be the topic for today's inspirational message.  This is from Recognizing God's Hand in Our Lives in the January Ensign and it is by Elder D Todd Christofferson.  It's nice to know that even General Authorities have had financial worries.

Some time before I was called as a General Authority, I faced a personal economic challenge that persisted for several years. It ebbed and flowed in seriousness and urgency, but it never went away. At times this challenge threatened the welfare of my family, and I thought we might be facing financial ruin. I prayed for some miraculous intervention to deliver us. Although I offered that prayer many times with great sincerity and earnest desire, the answer in the end was no. Finally, I learned to pray as the Savior did: “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). I sought the Lord’s help with each tiny step along the way to a final resolution.

There were times when I had exhausted all my resources, when I had nowhere and no one to turn to for help to meet the exigency before me. With no other recourse, more than once I fell down before my Heavenly Father, begging in tears for His help. And He did help. Sometimes it was nothing more than a sense of peace, a feeling of assurance that things would work out. I might not see how or what the path would be, but He gave me to know that, directly or indirectly, He would open a way. Circumstances might change, a new and helpful idea might come to mind, some unanticipated income or other resource might appear at just the right time. Somehow there was a resolution.

Though I suffered then, I am grateful now that there was not a quick solution to my problem. The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me how to truly pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer. I learned that daily bread is a precious commodity. I learned that manna today could be as real as the physical manna of biblical history. I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day.

Inspiration: Feeling our best about what we do

I had an out of body experience the other day - or something like that.  I was reading the Questions and Answers section of the December 2011 Ensign.  The question was, "How do I achieve balance in my life given all the demands on my time?"  I thought, "Oh I have several suggestions for that, lets see what other people said."  And I started reading.  About halfway through the article there was a contribution from a sister named Rebecca Shaw. I have no idea who this women is, but it's like I was reading my own words.  She even added an aside in parenthesis.

Here is what she wrote.  All I can say is, Amen Sister!

I have come to realize that our lives aren’t ever perfectly balanced. There will always be times when one thing is more important than another. Now that I understand this, I no longer feel burdened by not getting everything done. The following strategies help keep me from feeling overwhelmed:

• • 
  I write down the things I need to do. The list often is shorter on paper than it feels swimming around in my mind.
• • 
  I don’t try to get everything done in a single day. I commit myself to only one major project a day. If it’s laundry day, that’s the project. If I feel I have enough time and energy to get other things done, I do them, but I don’t worry if they need to be put off to another day.
• • 
  My husband and I work from a job chart. Our children are too young to be included on the chart at this point, but my husband and I use the chart to track daily and weekly household chores. I like this because it helps me realize the things I regularly do. I also appreciate getting help from my husband on jobs that I often don’t have time to complete.
• • 
  Finally, I have a night for me. On Tuesday nights, my husband enjoys time with our children while I focus on tasks I wouldn’t be able to otherwise. I have used that time to work on homework for a course I’m taking, to write Christmas letters, or to catch up on journal writing. (We also make sure that my husband gets time for his personal projects, too.)

With these strategies and my change of perspective, I have reduced my stress level. I believe that “doing our best” is really feeling our best about what we do.  

Inspiration: Doing what we need to

Right now we have the coolest Sister Missionary in the world serving in our area.  I love Sister Hill because, 1.  She is 26 and so is my age, 2. She dresses in the cutest clothes - I didn't know Sister Missionaries were allowed to dress so trendy, and 3. When I asked her if it ever gets boring going to multiple sacrament meetings on a single Sunday she said, "only since the very first week!"  Yeah she's awesome.

She's also really insightful.  A week or two ago she was talking about how she focuses on doing what she needs to do.  If she is out knocking on doors and talking to people then she will see results.  Sometimes the results aren't from her efforts. She says that often the results come through a ward mission leader calling up and referring a person who is interested in the gospel.  But she knows that the results are a blessing for doing what she should be.  

I've thought about this over the past little bit.  As you may know, Brandon has been out of a job since September.  We've been living off savings, food storage, and the Bishops Storehouse (which BTW has the BEST dishwasher detergent.)  These past few months have been a little scary, but mostly we are happy that he isn't working at his old job which resembled slavery.  Still it would be nice to have a job, and become upstanding citizens again.  I keep thinking about what Sister Hill said, and applying it to our situation.  If Brandon does what he is supposed to: looks for jobs, follows up on leads, goes to interviews then we will see results.  It's better than sitting around bemoaning our situation.  

We have seen results. He had two job interviews this past week, and a sort of job prospect that he will check out this coming week.  Plus his application with THE JOB was reviewed this Wednesday.  We won't know the results until 4 weeks from now, and that's only if he gets to the next stage, but at least it is something.  In the meantime we will keep doing what we need to.  

Doing what we need to also includes serving in the church.  We have been given ample opportunities to do that.  Check out what our month looks like just from a church standpoint.  I'm not complaining or bragging, I'm just listing it all so I can remember later.

       

Saturday December 3:        Cleaned the church in the morning  

                                            Baptism for new member.  Brandon made the program and conducted

Sunday December 4:           I taught Relief Society

Monday December 5:         Sister Missionaries came over for a meeting. 

Tuesday December 6:         Relief Society Meeting that I was in charge of

Wednesday December 7:    Brandon taught the aviation merit badge to the scouts

Thursday December 8:        Brandon served 4 hours at the Ogden Cannery

Sunday December 11:         Brandon teaches Sunday School

Tuesday December  13:       Brandon has a meeting with all the Sr Missionaries (and I might go too)

Wednesday December 14:   Brandon teaches the other half of the aviation merit badge

Saturday December 17:       Branch Christmas Party which I am majorly involved in

After looking at our calender I joked with Brandon that it will be nice when we can go back to paying tithing with money instead of time.  In the meantime it feels good to know that we are giving all we can.

Inspiration: Stop doing so much

A few weeks ago I went to training for all the Relief Society Presidencies in the Stake.  Our Stake President had the Stake Relief Society President come up and they talked about a conversation they had a few weeks prior.

SP: What were we planning back in September?

RS: Everything!  We had the Ice cream Social after the day of service, the dinner for the RS Broadcast, and the 10 year anniversary celebration.

SP: When you walked into my office for our monthly PPI what did you say?

RS: 'I feel like a social committee!'

SP: And then what did I tell you?

RS: 'Stop doing so much.'

Then they talked about how the Stake President told her that he didn't care who brought the lemonade to the what ever or if there was a popcorn machine at the 10 year anniversary.  The only thing that he cared about was that she worked to make sure the women in the stake knew they had access to the priesthood and that the Lord loved them.  

They had a discussion and decided that the Stake RS presidency didn't need to be in charge of the 10 year anniversary.  They passed off that assignment to the High Counsel who did a great job.  They were able to focus on the other things and did a great job without feeling over stressed.  

I learned that even the amazing Stake RS President has her limits.  And if she does then I certainly do.  And if she can pass off assignment then I certainly can too.  I've made sure that I won't get too over scheduled  during this crazy month of December. I challenge you to take a look at your schedule and see if there is anything you can take off.

Inspriation: Prepare Ourselves

The other night we were reading in 3 Nephi Chapter 3. We came across an interesting story that I have never noticed before.  The Gadianton robbers were threatening to invade the land.  The Nephites banded together against them.  This is what the next few verses say:

 19 Now it was the custom among all the Nephites to appoint for their chief captains, (save it were in their times of wickedness) some one that had the spirit of revelation and also prophecy; therefore, this Gidgiddoni was a great prophet among them, as also was the chief judge.

 20 Now the people said unto Gidgiddoni: Pray unto the Lord, and let us go up upon the mountains and into the wilderness, that we may fall upon the robbers and destroy them in their own lands.

 21 But Gidgiddoni saith unto them: The Lord forbid; for if we should go up against them the Lord would deliver us into their hands; therefore we will prepare ourselves in the center of our lands, and we will gather all our armies together, and we will not go against them, but we will wait till they shall come against us; therefore as the Lord liveth, if we do this he will deliver them into our hands.

This was really interesting to me because I am preparing a lesson on strengthening marriages, families, and homes.  I think sometimes we complain about all the evil influences in the world.  It seems like there are so many things that we should be battling.  But really our time would be better spend focusing on keeping our own families strong rather than trying to go against the enemy.  And then when the evil influences do try to come into our families we will be able to defeat them.