A bead of hope

I haven't felt like a good mom, lately.  Instead, I've felt like a pregnant, exhausted, overrun, and completely drained mom.

I've just been going through the motions of daily life.  Feed the kids, do the laundry, change a million diapers, let the kids spend some time outside, watch Toy Story 3 AGAIN, pray for bedtime, try to spend some time with Brandon, sleep for a few hours, and repeat.

I've been hoping that the last trimester of this pregnancy can go by quickly, while at the same time wondering how on earth I can preserve my sanity while taking care of 4 kids under the age of three.

And then the kids and I found some things at the park that made me believe in my abilities as a mother again.

It started out as a normal trip to the park.  Then Charlotte found a sparkly purple bead laying in the bark chips.  At first I was worried that the little bead would start a huge fight between the girls.  But a few seconds later Lydia found a sparkly pink bead.

"That was lucky," I thought, "now they can each have a bead."

A little bit later we even found a yellowish-greenish bead "for Dewick" and a orange bead "for Mama."

There were only four beads on the whole playground.  That seemed like a pretty amazing coincidence so I decided to keep the beads safe.  I put three of them in my pocket so they could make it home without getting lost.  Charlotte had a pocket on her skirt so she kept hers in there.

When we got home I turned on Toy Story 3 and pulled out some yarn.  The movie kept Derrick occupied while the girls helped me braid four necklaces -one for each of our beads.

We had fun making the necklaces.  When they were done the girls were so excited.  All day long they would proudly point to their beads.  Derrick didn't notice his necklace, but he kept it on all day.  

It touched my heart that something so simple could make them so happy.  I realized that my kids don't care if I'm too tired to do AMAZING things with them each day.  They are happy that I am here.  That I pay attention to them.  And that occasionally I can make them something special.

When Brandon came home the girls showed him their beads.  Then they wanted him to have a bead too.  I knew where another bead was because, months ago I'd randomly found some black beads on the floor.  I'd put them on my dresser to keep Derrick from eating them.  I hurried and found one of those beads and made Brandon a necklace.  He willingly joined our little bead club.

We are all still wearing our beads today (except Brandon who is at work.)  Somehow these five small beads make me feel like I can do this whole parenthood thing.  

If a necklace of braided yarn with one small bead can make my child happy, then maybe my small efforts will count for something too. 

Highlight Reel

It's a good thing I didn't write a blog post last night.  Because if I did this is how it might have started:

To Hell with this!

Those are the words I used as I stormed out of the house last night.  If I'd had a computer and an internet connection you might have been treated to a rant about the low rate of job satisfaction I sometimes feel.  Instead I stayed away from home until the kids were asleep and then came back and told Brandon all my frustrations.

I'm feeling better today.  Talking about stuff with Brandon always helps.  And I got a lot of sleep last night too.  That makes a big difference.

So you've been spared hearing about how tough it is to be a Mom - for now.  But don't for one second think that my job is easy or that I love every part of it.  Sometimes I think it's all a cruel joke.

Now that I'm in a better mood today you get the "highlight reel" instead of the "deleted scenes" of my life.

Here are Charlotte and Lydia ready to go shopping two Saturdays ago.  One of our stops was at JC Penny's so Brandon could get a new white shirt as his Father's Day present.  I told the girls it was a "fancy store" and they had to act really good.  All three kids actually did okay in the store.  I had them look at the jewelry counter while Brandon found and bought the shirt.

Brandon gave us a pretty good Father's Day present too.  He finished the sand table Saturday afternoon.

The girls loved playing with it right away. (Derrick would have too, but he was asleep when the table was finished) The sand table was my idea.  I wanted them to have a sand box, but I didn't want it to get infested with fire ants.  So I got the idea for the sand table and told Brandon to make one.

Here I am enjoying having all three of my babies on me.  (There are other times when I can't stand to have them all on me, but those times usually involve hysterical crying from at least one of them.)  The girls love the I-Spy books.  I like them too because there are so many things to look at and talk about.  If I have to read a book over and over and over again it might as well be one that is visually interesting.

Here are all three kids enjoying the sand table.  A LOT of sand has ended up on the ground.  I constantly have to remind myself that it is only $3.60 for a 60 lb bag so I don't need to worry about how much gets dumped on the ground.

I finally remembered to buy a nightlight.  I wanted to buy it to avoid scenes like this outside my bedroom door.  But alas, this picture was taken the first night we plugged in the light.  (Lately we've moved on to tying the kids' door shut after bedtime.)

Wednesday was the day we found out Baby D's gender (she's a girl in case you missed the post).  We also located the Women's Center at the hospital and took a tour of Labor and Delivery.  Brandon must have been feeling left out medically because that night he sliced his index finger while cutting up a pineapple.  

We put the kids in the car and dropped him off at the emergency room.  Five hours later at 3:00 am I put the kids back in the car and went to pick him up.  He got 5 stitches.  

Movie night continues to be one of our favorite things to do each week.  We've been on a Disney kick lately.  I figure if we are possibly going to go to Disney World then I want the kids to know their Disney history.  We check out movies from the library and watch them as a family for movie night.  Then the kids watch the movies ad nauseum for a week until it's time to return the movie and get a new one.  Movies we've watched lately include:

Lady and the Tramp - The kids loved the dogs.  Derrick laughed and pointed to the TV screen every time he saw Lady as a puppy.  Charlotte and Lydia now play a game called "Rat in the baby's room."  They put their baby dolls somewhere and then tell me "Rat in baby's room."  I tell them to go get it, and so they growl and pretend to fight it.  Then they say, "It's gone."  and I say "Good Doggie."

Dumbo - We probably watched this movie 4 times a day, and it NEVER EVER got old.  I'm serious, I loved it every time.  It helps that it is only an hour long.  Dumbo reminds me a lot of Derrick.  He doesn't say a lot, but you know what he wants, and he's super cute.  

We have a little Dumbo book that we read all the time, so the girls were familiar with the story.  They loved seeing the movie version.  Sometimes they would get the book out and look at it while watching the movie.  They'd say, "mean boys, Mom see." And point to the picture in the book during that scene.  

I got to the point where I could watch the whole "Baby Mine" part and not cry - almost.  There is a little moment right at the beginning where Dumbo cries and buries his head in his mother's trunk.  I always imagined him saying, "I've had such a hard time." And my own tears would start falling (I'm crying right now, if you can believe it.)      

The Little Mermaid - I thought the girls would love this movie, but they didn't get that into it.  I guess a teenage girl falling in love is a little foreign to them.  We watched it the day before Father's day and I think King Triton is a great example of how NOT to be a Dad.  

The other day the girls and I had a little quiet time while Derrick was asleep.  My back hurt so all I did was read while the girls played.  They ended up putting me and their babies to bed.  Here they are reading scriptures and singing songs to their babies.

They would then take turns going to the door and singing one last song.  Lydia sang, "I'm tired of God" instead of "I'm a child of God" when it was her turn. I guess I use the word tired a lot more than the word child.

Here is Lydia reading to her baby. The girls like to read the stories themselves sometimes. The girls have never seen Cinderella (we haven't found it on the library shelf yet) but they know the story from the countless times I've read it to them. The other day I heard Lydia say, "It's okay, I have the other one" exactly how I say it.

 Here is more sand table fun. We play out on the patio every afternoon. The kids' goal is apparently to put all the water from the pool into the table and all the sand into the pool. 

And if you haven't seen enough of the sand table yet, here is a video of the kids playing with it. 

We usually go to the park every morning between 7:30 and 9:00. Derrick will run to the door if I even say the word park. My only rule is that everyone has to be wearing clothes before we can leave. 

I'm so glad Derrick can walk to the park on his own.  Going to the park is a lot easier now than it was in the days where I had to carry the girls down the apartment stairs, put them in the stroller, and then walk a few blocks to the park.  The girls like to bring their babies and or bears to the park.  

 Once we are at the park Derrick likes to spend a few minutes swinging.

 Charlotte and Lydia always go to the twirly slide and climb up and down that for a long time. They like to climb it barefoot so I don't even bother putting shoes on them any more. The park is so close I even go barefoot.

 When Derrick is done swinging his next activity is to put bark chips onto the steps of the playground.

 And then he inevitably will climb up all the stairs and go up to where the girls are playing. He never wants to slide down though. Once he reaches the top he turns around and wants to come down. I've been teaching him how to walk down the stairs.

 Here are all the kids in what they call "Lydia's Home." Charlotte's home is another part of the playground. (For some reason we didn't go over there the day that I brought my camera.) 

Charlotte showing off a trick.

 Today there were some rocks on the playground and the girls pretended they were food. 

When we got home from the park I did some laundry. The girls told me they would put these blankets away when we got them out of the dryer. I gave them the blankets and moved on to something else. A few minutes later I went to check on them and found them playing in the office. From what I overheard this was an "airpain." 

Potty training is  . . . . . continuing. It's a process of one step forward and two steps back. But every time I want to give up the girls surprise me with showing that it is sticking. Little victories include poop in the potty chair, asking to use the toilet at church, and peeing in the toilet at home. I wont talk about the little setbacks. I made this sign for our bathroom to help me feel better about what a disaster zone it has turned into. I really should put it on the front door.

A few weeks ago I impulse bought cloth diapers. Money was part of the decision. But the real reason is I'm just sooooooo sick of diapers. I figured I'd change things up a bit. The diapers arrived and I hid the last of our disposables. Technically the diapers are just for Derrick, but the girls are trying them out too. Once I've used these diapers for a while I'll let you know what I think. Right now I'll just leave it my review as "I have them" and "cloth diapers and potty training are pretty close together gross-wise." 

Derrick gave up bottles the exact same day I decided that I was going to wean him off of them. (In some ways he still is my ever-considerate baby.) I had Brandon do the honors of washing the bottles out one last time. Then I had him hide them from me. After 2 1/2 years of always keeping track of bottles I am finally free! Of course now I have cloth diapers to keep track of so I guess I'm still stuck washing something once a day. But at least I don't have to wash the diapers out by hand. 

So there you have the highlight reel of my life the past few weeks. And it really is a good life. But don't be fooled, in between all these fun things are some terribly tedious things that make me want to quit. Good thing the kids are cute or else I might.

Warrant Officer Update

As of today one more part of Brandon's Warrant Officer application is complete.  He has been declared medically fit to fly!

It has taken quite a while to get this done.  He had to have a dental appointment, an eye exam, and finally a physical.  He had to make, and then wait for each appointment before he could move on.  And being in Louisiana for a month didn't help things go any faster.

All I can say about how slowly things have been progressing is, at least he still gets a paycheck in the meantime.  Back when we were paying for flying on our own we constantly ran into situations where we would have just paid the USU flight department $5000 (from student loans) only to have Brandon's flight instructor leave for a fishing trip or something.  Yeah, it really happened - and not just once.

Even though this application is taking forever, at least it is progressing.  And we are approaching the end of it.  All Brandon needs to do is get some letters of recommendation, fill out the actual application, send it in, and wait.

Since we are closer than we have ever been to getting this thing done, I thought I'd take a minute and answer some frequently asked questions about this whole Warrant Officer thing.  Neither of our families has a lot of experience with the military so we get asked these types of questions a lot.

What is a Warrant Officer?
Okay there are Commissioned Officers like Lieutenants and Captains and such.  They focus on learning how to command troops or getting a staff duty position.  Warrant Officers on the other hand pick a specialty, train for that, and then stay in that field.  There are positions such as Human Resources Technician, Legal Administrator, Field Artillery Targeting Technician, and so on.  (Click here for  the whole list.)

What Specialty is Brandon applying for?
Brandon is applying to be a Rotary Wing Aviator.  Which means helicopter pilot.   (Read the requirements here.)

Doesn't he have to be a member of the Army for a certain amount of time before he can apply?
To apply for any other Warrant Officer position Brandon would have to have been in the Army for at least 2 years.  For some positions he would have to be at least a sergeant before he could apply. But as luck would have it, Rotary Wing Aviator is the only one where he can apply right away.

Actually he could have signed up to be a helicopter pilot right when he enlisted, but with the troop drawdown on the horizon there weren't any positions available at that time.  Maybe he could have held out for one, but we wanted to get going with this whole Army thing as fast as possible, so it wasn't in our family's best interest to wait.

How much of a chance does Brandon have of being selected?
I don't know.  But he already has almost 300 hours of flight time that he earned in college.  And he scored very well on the aptitude tests.  So those two things should help his chances.

He has been chasing this dream of being a professional pilot for so long that part of me doesn't believe it will actually work out this time.  We've been let down so many times before why should this time be any different?  And yet we feel like this time IS different.  That for whatever reason Brandon is meant to be an helicopter pilot in the Army.  

What happens when Brandon's application is approved?
This may not be entirely accurate, but we've been able to piece the following process together.

Brandon will go to Warrant Officer Training for about a month.  Then he will go to flight school for a year.  At some point he'll also go through The Survival Escape Resistance and Evasion (SERE-C) course, and Helicopter Ditching and Dunker Training.  The kids and I will probably move with him to flight school.  I don't know what we'll do during the other trainings.

Where is flight school?
Fort Rucker, Alabama.  It's a 30 hour drive from Utah, but only 6 hours away from Disney World.  I've always vowed that I wouldn't take my kids to Disneyland/World until they were all tall enough to ride all the rides.  BUT if we are going to be only 6 hours away, and get a military discount, then I think I might go back on that vow.  It would be really fun to take the kids while it's all still real to them.

How soon will Brandon start training?
No idea.  First of all it depends on how soon this application can be completed.  Brandon has been working on various parts of it since February.  We are hoping to have it done ASAP which probably translates into late July.  Once it's turned in I don't know when we will hear back, or when Brandon will be asked to go to training.  I imagine we wont be moving until March, but I have no real evidence to back that up.  One thing is for sure, I highly doubt that there will be any changes until after Baby D is born.    

Doesn't Brandon want to fly airplanes?
Not necessarily.  Brandon wants to fly.  The type of aircraft doesn't really matter.      Back when he was still learning to fly airplanes he told me he thought it would be cool to learn how to fly helicopters.  At that time I told him we should probably finish up flying airplanes first.  But now I'm all for the change.

There are some fixed wing (airplane) jobs available in the Army so it is possible he could fly those one day.  But either way if he is flying we will be happy.

. . . 

So that's where we are right now.  Brandon would appreciate any prayers/fasting/good vibes in his behalf as he finishes up the application.  And as always, thanks for all your support.

For Sure

We finally know Baby D's gender.  Up until now we've been 75% sure it was a girl.  (That's what happens when you have an ultrasound at 14 weeks)  When the doctor told us it might be a girl I agreed with him because I'd only been able to come up with girl names.

But part of me was still was hoping for a boy.  I always imagined that I would have a ton of boys.  And I wanted Derrick to have a brother.  So I've been waiting until we knew for sure before I made an official announcement.

For some reason my doctor didn't schedule a follow up ultrasound until today when I was 27 weeks and 1 day along.  Most people find out their baby's gender at 20 weeks.  I really haven't minded waiting 7 extra weeks to find out.  In fact, if all our baby clothes were in the state I might have waited to be surprised with the gender when the baby was born.  But I need to know which boxes of baby clothes to have my mom send me so I need to know what I'm having.

Anyway, if I haven't drug this out enough here is a picture of me today.  The doctor keeps telling me that I look great.  I always want to reply, "It's called makeup!"

Anyway so the doctor started out by checking the head circumference and other standard but very boring things.  Brandon and I estimated that this was our 13th ultrasound.  Seeing the heart was cool, but the novelty wore off a while ago.  We were watching the screen intently for signs of the baby's gender.

Then the doctor froze the screen and started typing.  We could tell he was trying to draw out the suspense.  Brandon said, "It's a girl right?"  And I said, "I can see three lines."  And then the doctor wrote GIRL on the screen and we were super proud of our ultrasound reading skills.  

And of course we were also excited to know for sure that we are having a girl.

I know you are curious about the name.  We decided on Veronica at about 20 weeks along.  That's when we settled on all the other kids' names so if tradition holds (and it probably will) we will have a little Veronica in September.

I've been telling the girls that if we have a girl baby her name will be Veronica.  They always like to talk about "Ronica."  Sometimes I would ask, "what if it was a boy and we named him Russel (the only boy name we could come up with). And Charlotte would always say, "NO! Ronica!"  I'm glad that I didn't have to tell her that we are having a boy.

Brandon has always liked the name Veronica.  And I love the TV show Veronica Mars so it's a perfect name.  Plus it continues our Roman Numeral tradition.

We plan on calling her Vin (because apparently we are the type of parents who name their children after characters in fantasy novels.)  Honestly we would probably just name her Vin if Vin Illguth didn't sound like vanilla.  

Vin and Veronica Mars are two very tough women.  I'm proud to name my daughter after them.  

We told the kids we were having a girl baby when we picked them up from the babysitter.  When Charlotte walked in the house she asked, "girl baby? Ronica go?"  And I had to tell her that the baby wasn't here yet, and was still in my tummy.  Charlotte seemed a little sad about that.

Baby D/Veronica is due on September 17th.  I have to admit though, I really really really hope she makes an early appearance and arrives in August.  Why do I care so much?  Well if she is an August baby then all the kids will start school one year after another.  The twins will go in 2016, Derrick in 2017, and Veronica in 2018.  That means they could all be in high school together.  Yes, these are things I think about.

But whenever she comes I can honestly say that I'm happy that we will have another baby girl in our family.

Sharing Successes

I'm feeling like a pretty awesome parent these days.  Why?  Well it's certainly not because I have a super clean house, or because I fill my children's days with stimulating hands on activities.  Those things are out of my reach right now.  But I have helped the girls' through four very big milestones lately.  All of which absolutely terrified me to even think about.  And now they are done!

I want to brag about these things.  Not just to toot my own horn (even though I think that's something that we Mom's should feel no shame in doing), but also to share with you some of the things that worked to help the girls accomplish these things.  Maybe these ideas will help you out with your own little toddlers.

Sleeping in Beds
This was accomplished in January when the girls were about 2 years and 3 months old.

I was very reluctant to ever let the girls out of their cribs, but I knew they would learn how to climb out someday.  That someday turned out to be a few nights before we moved.  Brandon and I were packing and suddenly Lydia joined us in the front room.  I said, "We'll just have to work on keeping her in her room when we get to Texas."  And let her stay up.

Through the next month the girls slept on queen size hotels beds, a very hospitable stranger's floor, Lindsey's guest bed, the floor in their own room, and a sleeping mat in their room.  They were pretty happy to see their cribs again when the moving truck finally caught up with us.

I put the cribs back together (Brandon was at NTC), but ran into some problems with the sides.  I couldn't get the drop side of Lydia's crib to stay up, and I had no idea how one whole side of Charlotte's crib connected.  The girls didn't mind though.  Lydia liked how much easier it was to climb in and out of her crib, and Charlotte liked that her crib was now a bed.

During the month without their beds the girls had a hard time staying in their room.  Many nights I'd have to lay down next to them, hold their hands, and sing them songs until they fell asleep.  Other nights they would end up migrating into my bed if they woke up in the middle of the night (which they usually did).

That changed once the beds showed up.  They were so happy to have beds again that they didn't mind staying in them at bedtime.  And they FINALLY started sleeping through the night.  

The novelty of the beds has worn off, but they are still pretty good about going to bed.  I think it helps that they can play together so they aren't bored in their room. I've also learned that if I just go in my room and shut the door they leave me alone.  Yes, sometimes they will sneak out into the hall, or go in the toy room and play around, but that's about all they do.

One of these days I'll actually remember to buy them a night light while I'm at the store.  I'm hoping that once the hall is scary and dark and their room is light instead of vice versa they will stay in their rooms.

(Full Disclosure: Lately Charlotte has started coming into my room in the middle of the night.  She doesn't try to wake me up or even get in bed with me.  She just lays down on some blankets next to my bed and goes back to sleep.  I don't know why she does it, nor do I really care to make her stop.)

Giving Up Bottles
The girls gave up their bottles in April when they were 2 years and 5 months old. I know that my seem like WAY too old to some of you, but hey twins are hard, twins with a little brother are even harder, and twins with a little brother and a Daddy at basic training are really hard.  So don't judge me unless you are willing to try it out for yourself.

There were several reasons for letting the girls drink from bottles past age one.  One reason was that they were so small I wanted them to get as many nutrients from whole milk as possible.  Another reason was that bottles didn't spill as easy as even the most "spill proof sippy cup."  A third reason was that with Derrick drinking from a bottle it was kind of hard to ween the girls.  And the final reason was that the girls used the bottles to fall asleep.

The girls liked having a bottle before they could fall asleep, and I really liked them to sleep so I made sure they had what they wanted.  I justified violating the whole "absolutely no bottles in bed" rule this way.  They always took their bottles out of their mouths before they fell asleep so it what was the difference between having a bottle before going to bed or while they were in bed?  (If their teeth end up rotting out I will admit I was wrong and let you know.)

I completely misplaced our WIC vouchers when we moved so we ended up not getting any food from WIC for the month of January.  I started watering down the girls' bottles during that month.  And I discovered two very important things.  1. The "milk" could be super watery but as long it was white the girls would still drink it.  2. The girls' appetites for regular food suddenly exploded.  I could tell their need for milk was decreasing.    

In the middle of February I started telling the girls that we would say bye bye to bottles on Derrick's birthday.  I showed them Derrick's birthday on the calender so they could see how much time would pass.  At least once a day we talked about "Derrick birthday - one candle - bye bye bottles."

My original plan was to take bottles away from all three kids on Derrick's birthday.  But then Derrick went on a multi-week hunger strike where all he wanted was his bottle.  That left me so frazzled I couldn't face the thought of taking away his bottle yet.  (He still uses it, but I hope to have it gone by the time Baby D gets here.)

The day before Derrick's birthday Brandon and I were discussing how we thought the girls would react to not having bottles when it was nap time or bedtime.  We were really worried about what they would be like.  We've always relied on the bottles to coax the girls into their beds.  As we talked about it we came up with a genius idea.  We would give the girls "bedtime treats" instead of bottles.

I thought about doing something cool to signal the end of using bottles - like tying the bottles to balloons and watching them float away or something like that.   (Personally I was so sick of washing out bottles I had fantasies of taking a blow torch to them all.)  I ended up just washing them out and putting them on a shelf in the other room.  Out of sight really meant out of mind and just having them off the counter helped the girls realize that bottles had gone "bye bye."

The first bedtime treat was three M&M's for each girl.  Those were a hit from the beginning.  The girls eagerly got into bed so they could have their treat.  When the M&M's ran out we moved on to giving out three skittles.  Those seemed to give the girls a little extra jolt of energy which isn't what you want happening at bedtime.  So when those ran out we moved on to three goldfish crackers.  That's what we currently use and they work just fine.

In the first few days after "bye bye bottles" the girls still asked for their bottles - especially since Derrick still got one.  But they were just fine with me saying, "bottles went bye bye, remember?  You get bed time treats now."

I was shocked by how easily they gave up bottles.  Part of me thinks it could have happened earlier, but another part of me knows that the girls were finally emotionally mature enough to say "bye bye."

Giving Up Binkies
The girls gave up their binkies at the beginning of June when they were 2 years and 7 months old.

As far as I know Lydia was born with a binky in her mouth.  The first time I saw her she was already sucking on a binky.  During the girls' 18 days in the hospital their binkies acted as surrogate Mommy when I couldn't be around.  And when they came home the binkies came too.  As crazy as binkies drove me they saved my sanity on many occasions.  I often (and truthfully) joked that I needed to be weened from binkies just as much as the girls did.

Before Derrick was born I had the girls to a point where they only used binkies at nap time, bedtime, and church.  But then Derrick was born.  He wasn't as addicted to his binky as much as the girls, but he still used it.  The girls would steal his binky right out of his mouth and then fight over it.  To keep the peace at home I just made sure everyone had a binky.  

Derrick stopped needing a binky sometime while Brandon was at Basic Training. He'd still "take" a binky in the sense that he would take Charlotte or Lydia's binky when they weren't looking.  But he had no idea what to do with it.  He'd wave it around, chew on the wrong side, and look at it like, "what makes this thing so important?"

If Brandon had been home I would have taken away the girls' binkies at this point.  But Brandon wasn't home.  Binkies made my life easier.  If I had three crying kids, and at least one of them would calm down with just a binkie, then it was worth it to keep binkies around.

However, a few months ago we reached a point where binkies weren't worth it anymore.  The girls seemed to be always fighting over who got to suck on which binkie.  I was also getting pretty sick of the nightly routine of desperately looking for  binkies that had magically disappeared after a whole day in the girls' mouths.

I would have taken the binkies away at the end of April when the girls turned 2 and a half.  But that was when Brandon was scheduled to be at JRTC for a month.  There was no way on earth I wanted to go through a month without a husband or the binkies.  So I started to tell the girls that when Daddy came home the "binky fairy" was going to come and take the binkies away and bring presents.

When Brandon came home I was still hesitant to take the binkies away.  I wasn't sure the girls could sleep through the night without them, and I really didn't want to loose any sleep.  But then one morning Charlotte woke up as Brandon got ready for work.  He brought her into bed with me.  She fell asleep right away and stayed asleep even though she didn't have her binky.  Another morning I found her asleep on my floor and I noticed that she didn't have a binky with her.

That gave me an idea to make a chart for the girls.  Every morning they woke up without their binkies they could put a sticker on the chart.  And they could also put a sticker on every night before bed.  When the chart was full we would all go to the zoo.  (Which we were planning on doing anyway, but I figured we could make it into a reward.)  We'd guarantee success with the chart by saying "bye bye" to binkies before we started filling it out.

Even with the chart idea I was still scared to take away the binkies.  In the end Brandon forced my hand.  Unbeknownst to me he started hiding any binky he found.  I started getting really worried when I only knew where two binkies were.   I told Brandon we HAD to take away binkies that night.  So we went to the store and bought a little swimming pool, some markers, and stickers for the girls.  We told them they could play with everything when they said "bye bye" to binkies.

When we got home from the store the girls wanted to go swimming right away.  I told them they needed to say bye bye to binkies.  I couldn't believe how fast Lydia spit her binky out and threw it on the ground.  Charlotte took hers out right after Lydia did.  I had them say, "bye bye binkies" so we could have some official closure.  Then the girls ran off to find their swimming suits and I tossed the binkies into the crockpot on top to the fridge because I knew they would never think to look in there for them.

After we were done with the pool a few hours later the girls asked for their binkies again.  "Sorry," I said, "Binkies went bye bye." There were some tears and Charlotte almost broke my resolve (and my heart) by asking for each of her binkies by name, "pupel binky? birdy binky? little guy binky? green binky? blue binky? yewwo binky? butterfly binky?"  It's a good thing Brandon hid all the binkies from me because I could truthfully answer, "Sorry, they are all gone and I don't know where they are."  

The girls didn't take naps that day so they fell asleep around six that night (a positive effect of taking away binkies).  The next day was Sunday and it took them about 2 hours to even remember the binkies were gone. Unfortunately they remembered the binkies during the last 15 minutes of Sacrament Meeting.  Not exactly the best time for an emotional toddler meltdown.

Sunday afternoon was a little rough, but nothing like I imagined. And after bedtime that night Brandon and I just locked ourselves in our room and watched funny internet videos while the girls held a silent protest outside our door.

By the next day the girls seemed almost over their binky addition.  They still asked about them, but they already knew the answer.  They continued to like putting stickers on the chart, but that novelty wore off by about the third day.

I find myself wondering, "would it have been that easy to get them to give up their binkies earlier?"  Probably yes, but I don't know if I would have been ready to give them up earlier.  
 
Potty Training
I'm not declaring absolute victory on this one yet.  But things are going so well that I'm willing to say that the girls started wearing underwear on a consistent basis in the middle of June when they were 2 years and 7 months old.

This one scared me to death to even think about.  I often said that the girls' were going to have to beg me to potty train them.

Then in January (which was kind of a big month for us if you can't tell) the girls had terrible diarrhea.  I'll spare you the gross details, but lets just say there were some nights where I would have to wash the girls off in the tub in the middle of the night.  This was all going on while Brandon was away at NTC and we didn't have any of our stuff.  Once that was over I told myself that maybe there were worse things than potty training.

When our stuff showed up I unpacked the potty chair that my Aunt Cheryl had given me months before.  The girls liked sitting on it, but didn't really care to do anything else with it.  At the same time I also unpacked a big bag of pull ups that someone had given us.  I let the girls try those out too.  Some one had also given us a bunch of underwear, but I saved that for another day.

At the beginning of February Lindsey came up to help me out when I needed to have my IUD removed.  Somehow the girls suddenly became interested in potty training.  I think it was because they saw their cousin Rocklond using the toilet.  So in addition to everything else Lindsey was doing for me Lindsey started potty training the girls.  She set a timer for 10 minutes.  Every time it went off all the kids would run into the bathroom.  Rocklond would sit on the toilet and the girls would take turns with the potty.  Then everyone got one goldfish cracker.

When Lindsey went home the girls liked to sit on the toilet "where Rocklond sit."  For the next 5 months I gave them the option to sit on the toilet or the potty whenever I changed their diapers.  If they could sit for 10 seconds and then wipe and flush they got a few goldfish crackers.  Most of the time there weren't any bodily fluids involved.  I figured that was okay because at least they were getting comfortable with the bathroom routine.  Lydia eventually got to the point where she could climb onto the toilet without a step-stool, pee, and then wipe and flush without getting off.  Charlotte would sit on the potty chair and "toot," but that was all she ever did.

Sometimes the girls would wear underwear and I'd keep track of them with a timer, but those times were few and far between.  I didn't have the energy to do it for very long.  Also Derrick was a major detriment to potty training.  It's hard enough to talk one little girl through the whole sit, dump, wipe, flush routine - add a baby who just wants to play with the toilet water and things get really insane.  I started giving Derrick crackers if he stayed out of the bathroom while the girls were in there.  (Which actually seemed to motivate him to stay out of the bathroom)  We also added "shut the toilet lid" and "shut the bathroom door" to the whole routine.

In May I bought the girls some pull ups to see if those would entice them to use the potty more.  But I didn't notice any change.  Pull ups cost too much to use without any results so we went back to diapers.  I also switched the potty training treat to one Starburst candy.  That had a better result of getting the girls interested in sitting on the potty, but they still only did it at diaper changing time.

I had no plans to start "hard core" potty training until July at the earliest.  But last Tuesday I looked at our box of diapers and wondered if maybe just maybe we could make it to payday on Friday without buying new ones.  Under normal circumstances we had about a day and a half of diapers.  I decided to start offering the girls underwear at every diaper change.  I felt like I could handle a bunch of leaks if it could save us some money.  Also Derrick had recently learned how to climb up the stool to the bathroom sink so he wasn't so obsessed with the toilet anymore.  It seemed like as good of a time as any to at least try to teach the girls about bladder control.

Lydia started out wearing underwear right away.  I set the timer and kept track of her for a little bit, but I soon got distracted and honestly just kind of forgot she was in underwear.  But she didn't forget.  She would yell, "I sit a potty!"  And run into the bathroom.  Then she would pee in the potty, dump it, wipe, flush, and wash her hands.  I'd give her a treat and she'd go back to playing.    I don't remember exactly, but I know she had very few accidents.

I ended up abandoning the timer system and just started asking Lydia, "do you need to go potty?" every so often.  Sometimes she would say yes and run into the bathroom.  Other times she would say no and just wait until her own body told her to use the bathroom.

Charlotte wanted in on the fun (and the treats) so she asked for "udderwear" too.  She liked all the different designs and characters on the underwear.  She had a lot more accidents.  But after every accident I'd ask her if she wanted to  wear diapers again and she'd always ask for another pair of underwear.  I was so proud of her for wanting to keep trying. And I was very very proud of her the first time she peed in the potty.  That right there was a huge break through.  

At night I put the girls in diapers, but the next day both girls were in underwear again.  I was on the phone with my parents and Charlotte ran into the bathroom and used the potty without me reminding her.  That's when I knew we were really on to something.

Lydia is still ahead of Charlotte in keeping track of herself.  I think Charlotte wouldn't care so much about potty training if she didn't see Lydia getting treats every time she uses the potty.  But both girls are doing awesome - especially when I think about where they were just a week ago .  I honestly never thought it would be this easy to potty train.  And best of all I didn't have to buy more diapers until payday.

I have to add that I am so glad the girls are potty training now.  I spend A LOT of time in the bathroom with them these days.  Some times I think I live there.  I'm so glad I'm not trying to take care of a newborn on top of reminding them to flush and finding them new underwear.

And that's really what all of this has been about.  When I found out I was going to have four kids under the age of three I panicked.  But them I realized that at least I wasn't going to have four newborns.  Instead I would have one newborn, one toddler, and two pre-schoolers.  With these accomplishments I feel like I can honestly start thinking of Charlotte and Lydia as pre-schoolers.

Writing through writers block

I have a case of writers' block again.  Which is annoying because I have two posts waiting to be completed and another one that I want to start.  But I just can't seem to get the words together.  This seems to always happen whenever I start taking this blog thing too seriously.  

My post Tips for Vacationing with Babies - 2012 Edition is drawing a little bit of extra attention from Pinterest.  That's awesome and makes me happy that people like my ideas.  The extra attention is making me feel like maybe I should put some extra effort into all my posts.  But I don't really want to put extra effort into anything right now, and certainly not this little place where I can slack off and be myself.  I don't even like proof reading my posts - trying to do some quality writing is way out of my range right now.  

So in order to get my little writing voice back, here is a very low quality post describing the pictures from the last week or so.     

We made homemade ice cream for Family Home Evening.  We had to go grocery shopping and I figured adding ice cream ingredients was a good way to justify going to the store as part of FHE.   

The girls sat outside by the ice cream maker and watched it crank for a while.  When the ice cream was finally done they were so excited to eat it.

One of the secrets to getting anything done with toddler twins is to keep them occupied.  Here are the girls playing with lotion so I can clean the kitchen.  

They moved the lotion inside and smeared it all over the table.  I didn't care because getting the kitchen clean was more important.  They were having fun and not destroying anything.  When they were done the lotion wiped right off and actually was a really good furniture polish.  I don't know the last time my table was so shiny.

Here is a random picture of Derrick.  He loves to carry his bus around and then drive it on every surface that he comes across.

Derrick has also learned how to get up on the table.

Take a good long look at this picture because it is the last one you will ever see with Charlotte or Lydia sucking on a binkie.  That's right people BINKIES WENT BYE BYE.

Here is a picture of what the girls traded their beloved binkies for.  A brand new swimming pool.  When I told Lydia that she had to say bye bye to her binkie before she could go swimming she spit her binkie out right away.  Charlotte followed a second later and that was the end of the binkies.

(One of my Work in Process posts is a detailed description of how we said bye bye to bottles and binkies)

My biggest fear with getting rid of the binkies was that the girls wouldn't sleep well at night.  The first night they did take a little bit longer than usual go to sleep, but they didn't cry about the binkies like I thought they would.  Instead they just fell asleep outside our door.

They've asked for their binkies a few times, but I just remind them that binkies went bye bye.  They accept that answer and then ask to go swimming.  

In addition to the pool we also bought a project for Brandon.  I asked him to build a sand table for the kids.  He hasn't had a wood project since August so he was happy to have something to do with his tools again.  

As you can tell, the girls have super curly hair.  As you can also probably tell, it's usually not brushed out very well.  It did look good on Sunday and I was determined to get a picture to document the occasion.  Charlotte thought we were playing a game and kept running away from me.  But I finally got this picture of her ringlets.

Brandon usually dresses Derrick for church on Sundays.  He does a great job and Derrick always looks really cute.  Here is how Derrick looked this week.  The shirt and the bow tie belonged to Brandon when he was a little boy.

We go out to the pool at least twice a day.  Being in water is about the only way to beat the heat around here.  This pic was taken at about 8 in the morning so I had the water in the sun to try to warm it up a little bit.  By the afternoon we move the pool under the patio and stay in the shade.

Derrick likes the pool, but he also likes to play in the dirt.  I'm so glad I didn't try to grow a garden here.  Derrick would have been in it constantly.

Remember how right after we moved here Brandon had to spend a month at the NTC in California?  Well he earned a medal for that month.

A neighbor gave us this stroller that her kids outgrew.  I'm still deciding if it will fit out needs, but in the meantime Lydia loves to play in it.  That neighbor also offered us a crib (it will be our fourth) and two boxes of baby clothes.  This is why I pay tithing people.

Lydia and Charlotte still have a thing for boxes.

Here are the girls playing Bag Bag with Daddy.

He always takes them to a different room and drops them off.

Lydia found a bunch of fabric squares from one of my long forgotten projects.  She called them her "laundry" and stacked them in a pile.  Here she is sorting them.  She called them "baby clothes."

Okay I know this is another picture of the girls playing bag bag.  But guess what's important about this picture?  The girls are wearing underwear!  Binkies went away so easily that I decided to start some serious potty training.  Plus I decided that I'm just sick and tired of buying diapers.  So I started asking girls if they wanted to wear underwear, and they usually answered yes.  Both of them are doing great compared to where they were last week.  Lydia will run and "sit a potty" all by herself without me reminding her.  She's had very few accidents since Monday.  Charlotte is now able to actually pee in the potty - something that she never did during the last six months of casual potty training.  She's still having accidents, but she's getting there.

I don't know what is up with half these pictures not turning this week.  Grr. Anyway, here I am.  I'm 26 weeks along.  Next week we will finally have the ultrasound where we find out the baby's gender.

And here is a little picture of Derrick with the toy vacuum.  He loves this vacuum and pushes it around all the time.

Okay that's it for this week in pictures.  Hopefully I've broken my writer's block and you will be seeing two other posts from me shortly.  I want to get them posted before we find out the baby's gender, but we'll see what happens.