Something I should have decided two years ago

Up until recently I've been a stay-at-home mom mostly by default.  I quit my job when we moved out of Logan, and I didn't have a new one when the girls were born.  So I didn't have to decide whether to go back to work or not.  Even if I had found a new job, the cost of daycare for newborn twins would have been most of my paycheck anyway.

There have been many times over the past two years that I've considered finding a job and going back to work.  For the most part I've shot those ideas down pretty fast.  As much as I would love to have a "real" job again I'm not too thrilled about the idea of getting three kids and myself ready for the day before 8:00 am.  Plus we'd most likely have to get a second car so Brandon could take his to his work.  Between a car payment and daycare costs it doesn't make financial sense for me to work while the kids are little.

There has always been another reason that I don't want to get a job right now.  I don't want to go to work just to get a paycheck.  When I go back to work I want to make sure I work for a company that will respect my ideas and my time.  I want to find a place similar to where I used to work. The job I left in Logan was one of my favorite places to work - ever.  I always tell myself that one day, when the kids are older I will find a company like that and go work for them.

And then we moved to the Fort Hood/Killeen area.  This happens to be one of the only places on the planet that the company in Logan has another office.   And I became very, very, very interested in going back to work right away.  

I imagined how fun it would be to work with my old friends again (sure via computer, but that's kind of how it was when we were in the same office anyway).  I thought about how I would announce my decision on this blog.  I daydreamed about how wonderful it would be to use the awesome company software again.  (One particular program called EWOK had been my favorite and I miss it on a daily basis.)

I figured that going back to work would be a good way to keep myself busy when Brandon was deployed to Korea in July.  When he left for California three weeks ago I told him that I would spend the month thinking  about whether or not going back to work was good plan.  I thought that I would go back and forth on the issue the rest of the month.  Instead it only took me one day to make up my mind.

I decided that now is not the time to go back to work.

There were several things that helped me decide. One of them was the fact that Brandon joined the Army so I didn't have to get a job.  Back then we had decided it was better for one parent to be gone all the time than to have both of us working and the kids raised by strangers.  To get a job and send the kids to daycare when he got deployed seemed to go against our initial decision.

Also I'm not sure the kids would do well in daycare.  My parenting style can be best described as "free range."  If the kids are not causing irreparable damage I'm pretty cool with whatever they do in our house. We have a pretty flexible "daily routine" too. I worried that daycare might be too structured and full of rules for my kids.  I imagined a daycare worker trying to make Lydia sit down with the group and I wanted to cringe.

The final reason that I decided not to go to work right now was just a quiet prompting I got while looking out the window one day.  I felt something say in my heart that if I sacrifice now and stay home with my kids I'll be rewarded later.  Whether that means I'll be rewarded with a great job, or just great kids I don't know.  But I do know that I felt calm and peaceful about staying home.

It ultimately comes down to this.  The odds of finding a great company to work for are a lot higher than ever having the chance to raise my twin girls and baby boy again.

A grumpy post

In case you were wondering, it is HARD living without a husband.  There are many reasons why it's so hard, but one of them happens to be that there is no one to complain to about life.  I could do what I did all during basic training and write Brandon a letter with all my little complaints, but there is no mail in or out of where he is right now.  So a letter just seems pointless.  I could go write in my journal where I occasionally vent all my worries, frustrations, and gripes - but I haven't found it yet.  So instead you all get a rare glimpse of the grumpy side of my personality.

Complaints about money:
January is traditionally a hard month for us money wise.  It comes right after Christmas, but before we get our tax refund.  It also happens to be the month we have to register the car.  This year was no exception from the money issues.  Between moving expenses that haven't been reimbursed yet, buying new back tires so the jeep could pass the safety inspection, and not knowing where my WIC vouchers ended up, this has been a tight month.  I am so glad it is almost payday.

Complaints about kids
If I have to hunt for a f***ing binky one more time the kids might start learning some inappropriate words.  Seriously, how is it possible that they can have binkies in their mouths throughout the whole entire day, but as soon as its bedtime the binky has completely vanished?

Why does everything have to end in crying?  We watched Toy Story 3 - that was fun until the girls bonked heads and started crying.  The kids went down for a nap - that was peaceful until I woke them up so they wouldn't stay up until 11:00 tonight (it worked, but I had to endure a lot of crying.)  We had ice cream - everyone was happy until I told the girls they couldn't have anymore tonight.  We all played in a box - it was really fun until Derrick and I bonked heads.  And on and on and on.  I feel like I'm always on edge waiting for the crying to start.  

Complaints about things I have to do:
Unpacking in going well - in most parts of the house.  The kitchen, however, is a disaster.  It's not fun to make meals on a counter that also has boxes all over it.  Mostly I've just been ignoring the kitchen.

I've also been ignoring the dinning room floor.  I finally found the Pinesol so I don't have that excuse for not mopping it anymore.  But I can't mop when Derrick is crawling around so I haven't been able to mop.  And don't tell me I could just do it during naptime or after bedtime.  I have VERY limited amounts of time to myself.  If I don't take advantage of those times and relax I might snap.

I want Brandon's W2's to show up so I can do our taxes.  I love doing our taxes.  For one, because we get lots of money back thanks to the kids.  And for two because doing our taxes makes me feel like I'm being an adult instead of just a mom.  I enjoy typing in numbers and filling out online forms.  I've already gone ahead and entered in as much as I can without the W2's so I'm just waiting on those.

One final complaint
It's been three weeks since I've seen Brandon and two weeks since I've heard anything from him.  At least with basic training he could write me letters.  In theory he should get his phone back tomorrow.  I hope so.  I have A LOT to tell him (way more than what I just wrote about here.)  He should be home between the 2nd and the 6th.  I really hope its the 2nd.

Okay, thanks for listening. I feel better now.  In fact, I feel so much better I think I'll turn this into a happy post and show you some cute pictures of the kids.

Here are Charlotte and Lydia helping wash out bottles.  Charlotte is my "little helper girl" she loves to do whatever I do. She and I are trying to find a balance between how much she can help without throwing me too off of my groove.

 Here are the girls sleeping on the guest bed at Lindsey's house.  I can't believe how much the girls have grown up lately.  Just a few months ago they never would have slept in a big bed.  Every time we went camping last summer we had to bring pack and plays along.  But on our trip out here the girls were just fine laying down in a big "sleepy bed." (Of course I usually had to lay with them at first.)

 The girls have claimed under the sink as their territory.  They love to go play in the cupboards.  They will say, "bye" and blow me a kiss and then shut the doors.  Then they open the doors and say, "hi, Mama!" If I'm standing at the sink when Lydia wants to open the cupboards she'll say, "scay-bee" for excuse me.

 We've had many appointment's to sign up for different things around the base.  The kids have been wonderful at each appointment.  It helps that most places anticipate children and have a little toy area.  (WIC, however,  had the most boring toys ever) Here are the kids playing with the toys at the place where we borrowed household items while we waited for our stuff to show up.  One lady saw the kids and asked, "are they all yours?"

We call the curb the "little seat."  When I get the girls out of the car I tell them, "go sit on the little seat while I get Derrick out."  They are so good and always run right to the curb and stay there.  Then I put Derrick into the umbrella stroller and the girls hold on to either side of that while we cross the parking lot to get to where ever we are going.  When we come back to the car I put the girls in the front seat.  They play with all the buttons and knobs while I put Derrick into his car seat.  This has been our system ever since Brandon went to basic.  It works really well.

 Here is where Charlotte and Lydia slept until their cribs showed up.  They were so funny about making sure they slept on the right sides.  Lydia's bed has always been on the left.  And that is where her bed was even on the floor.

This is the size of the truck that our stuff was delivered in.  I never went inside of it, but I don't think it was full.  Still it was HUGE.  Those boxes next to it have our queen sized mattresses in them.   When the movers knocked on my door I was so happy that our stuff finally showed up that I didn't care that I was in my pajamas.

 Here are the kids enjoying a meal at our dinning room table.  The girls did really well eating on regular chairs the past few weeks, but they are happy to have their high chairs back.  I hid the trays so now they are just booster seats.  I think the girls like being able to simultaneously sit and see their food.

 And here they all are enjoying a movie.  I'm glad to have the TV back. I wasn't sure if the laptop could survive much longer with 6 little hands assaulting it every time we tried to watch a movie or an internet TV show.

 The kids have had lots of fun with all the boxes that I've been emptying.  The girls like to hid in the boxes and then Derrick crawls over and finds them.  There is lots of screaming and laughing involved.  The other day I looked over and saw Charlotte, "make, dinner" on the "sove."  I'm planning on making a cardboard kitchen out of several of the boxes.

The day after our stuff showed up we received a new addition to our furniture family.  My friend Sarah from my ward will be moving and she can't take her piano.  She asked if I wanted it and I immediately said yes.  I've wanted one for a while because The girls loved my Mom and Dad's piano and I often find them pretending to play the piano.  Sarah was a saint and coordinated everything so the only thing I had to worry about was being home to open the front door.  As soon as the movers left, the girls hopped up on the bench and started to play "scary songs" (the low notes) and "pretty songs" (the high notes).  The other night I put Derrick up on the bench and he sat up there for at least 30 minutes just playing the keys.  I'm glad the kids enjoy it.    

The rest of our time has been full of unpacking and trying to find a place for everything.  I'm looking forward to when it is all done and I can show off my beautiful house to all of you.

Inspiration: No Coincidences

Now that I'm no longer teaching Gospel Doctrine on a weekly basis I plan on starting up my Sunday Inspiration posts again.  I'll keep these up as long as I don't have a demanding calling.  (And after the drama the twins pulled on me today during Sacrament meeting I'd be surprised if this ward gave me a calling at all.)

Anyway, here's your inspiration for today.  This happens to be my own story and not a conference talk.

I wont lie.  It's been hard giving up my awesome support system that I had in Utah.  I miss being able to send out a text and have a babysitter at my door within a few minutes.  But I'm working on getting a new system set up.  I'm making friends with the neighbors and (trying) to attend church to meet people.

On Thursday, though, I felt very alone.  Our stuff had been delivered and the furniture was placed.  That was awesome.  But later that day I noticed Lydia laying on the floor.  I asked her if she was okay and she gave a tiny shake of her head.  As I helped her onto the couch I could tell she was burning up with a fever.

I gave her medicine and water.  Then I put on a movie and held her while she fell asleep.  I told her, "Thanks for waiting to get sick until after we had a couch and TV again."

I really wanted someone to come give her a blessing.  But I didn't know anyone's phone number off hand.  I was about to go look up the online ward directory when I remembered that someone had called my phone earlier.  I was shocked when I listened to the voice mail message.  It was from the Fort Hood Military Relations Missionary couple.  Sister Smith explained that she'd heard we were moving to Fort Hood and she wanted to see if we needed anything.  The timing couldn't have been better.  I called her right back and left a message asking for her husband to come give Lydia a blessing.

Soon they called back and then were on their way to my house.  When Elder and Sister Smith arrived they explained that they got my contact information from the Edwards' who were one of the Sr Missionary couples in my Bountiful Branch.  Brother and Sister Edwards' son married the Smith's daughter. I was happy to hear that.  During our last two months in Bountiful we'd started sitting in front of the Edwards' during Sacrament meeting.  The girls would take turns sitting with them.  Sister Edwards always had fun things in her bag for the girls to play with.  I vaguely remembered the Sister Edwards telling me that they had friends on a mission in Fort Hood, but I'd mostly forgotten about it.  

I was happy that our furniture had arrived and the Smiths had somewhere to sit.  They sat down and talked to me for a while.  I'm glad they talked to me.  I didn't know it, but I was craving a conversation with older people.  I loved the 2.5 years hanging out with Sr Missionary couples in the branch.  I think I like the fact that they aren't currently burdened with trying to potty train or debating whether to nurse or bottle feed.  They moved on from that phase of their lives years ago.  They are a nice reminder that there is life after young children.

Brother Smith had asked our LDS neighbor from up the street to come help with the blessing.  He showed up and both men gave Lydia a blessing.  I don't remember what they said, but it calmed me down.  A little while later Lydia was running around like she was just fine.  (The fruit snacks Brother Smith gave her also might have helped.)

I'm so amazed at the timing of it all.  They called me almost exactly when I needed them.  I keep thinking about something President Monson often says, "There are no coincidences."  Things like this help me remember that I'm never truly alone.

Peace Amid Uncertainty

I feel I've been given ample opportunities to regret my decision to move to Texas.  Examples include, the car breaking down, Brandon being sent to California a week after we got here, and our stuff still not showing up.  But you know what.  Despite all that, I don't regret this decision.  I feel a quiet assurance that even with all the unexpected craziness this is exactly where I need to be right now.

What's interesting is that if I hadn't moved here so quickly I may not have come to Fort Hood at all.  You see, Brandon's unit is getting deployed to Korea for 9 months starting in July.  That's why he is in California this month.  He's training with his unit for that deployment.*

We found out about the deployment within days of our arrival at Fort Hood.  But we'd kind of expected it already.  When Brandon gave up his 18X contract he knew there was a high possibility that he'd be assigned to a unit that was being deployed soon. He talked to me about this and asked me what I thought.  I told him that no matter how short of a time we had together I would still move with him.  I said that I'd be willing to live in an extended stay hotel for a month if it meant I could be with him for that month.  

Still, if I'd known about the deployment before I left my comfortable situation in Bountiful I might have talked myself out of moving- or rather let others talk me out of it.  But I'm here at Fort Hood now, and this is where I am going to stay.  There are many reasons for staying here when Brandon goes to Korea.  The main one is the house.  

As much as I loved our apartment I came back from my trip to Georgia and could tell that we had outgrown it.  The space was just too cramped for a family with three active children.  Now in addition to the four bedrooms we have a large living room, a kitchen, a dining room, a mudroom, a storage room, a garage (oh how I love the garage), and a backyard.  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to sit in the living room and not stare at my dining room table, or what it's like to cook dinner without trying to keep the kids out of my latest craft project. 

There is a line in Pirates of the Caribbean that I keep thinking about.  Jack Sparrow is talking to Will about learning to live with certain things.  He says: "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."  I know that I can take care of my kids and live on my own in a big house.  I also know that I can't stand to give up my independence by moving in with family, and I don't want to go back to an apartment.  So it comes down to staying here.   

Another reason for staying is that I feel like I belong here.  Sure I gave up a large support system back in Utah, but by moving here I gained a place with all the other Army wives.  I don't feel judged when I take my kids to the store or church by myself.  In the past two weeks I have done a lot of things with the kids in tow that I never would have attempted back in Utah.  I've taken all three kids with me to the grocery store, the laundry mat, the library, and several boring appointments. I don't know why I never felt comfortable doing these things with the kids in Utah, but I'm able to do these things with confidence here because I know that people see me as an Army wife.  They know why I'm alone.

People understand deployments here.  It's actually one of the first questions I get asked when I meet someone new.  After asking my name and where I'm from the conversation eventually comes around to if my husband is being deployed soon.  And when I tell them they say something like, "okay" and move on in the conversation.  Last week I took the kids to a play group with some of the families in my ward.  The other moms were all talking about deployments and such so casually.  Contrast that with the sharp intakes of breath and cries of "oh no" that I got when I told my family.  (Which is a valid response and I'm not discrediting feeling upset about the deployment in anyway.)

And a final reason for staying:  I actually really love it here.  I thought I would miss the mountains, but I'm falling in love with the big, big sky.  And you should see the view out my back door.  We live on the last circle of our neighborhood.  There are trees right behind our back fence.  Even though the trees aren't very tall or thick together I call the area "the woods" because it seems to go on forever.  And in the evening there is the most amazing smell that comes from the trees.  The smell reminds me of camping trips to the Uinta mountains, Bryce canyon, or the Spruces.  I never thought I could live close to cities and feel like I'm in the back woods.  

I guess there is one other reason for staying, and coming, and really for joining the Army in the first place.  It feels right.  It's like there is this reservoir of peace inside my heart.  Even though so many things tell me that this may have been a bad decision I can't deny that I feel peace amid all the uncertainty.  I don't exactly know why being here is right, but that's okay.

*Sorry if you are close family and this is the first time you are hearing about the deployment.  I'm not sure who Brandon told before he had to give up his phone in California, and I don't want to keep the news quiet any longer.

Weekend in Houston

This is a recreation of a telephone conversation I had with my sister Lindsey on December 18th before I decided to move to Texas as quickly as possible.  

Me: I'm just making sure its still okay with you if we come stay with you while we wait for our housing. 

Lindsey: Yeah, that's just fine.  I'm already getting the guest bedroom ready for you.  When do you think you will come?

Me: Well I'm hoping to be there by my birthday in February.

Lindsey: Well my plan for you is that you will be here for Rocklond's birthday in the middle of January. Actually, my real plan for you it to be here for John's birthday at the beginning of January - but I know that one is a little too soon to really happen.  

Me: Let me talk to Brandon and I'll get back to you.

A few hours later Brandon and I decided to move to Texas right away, a day later we were assigned our house, a week later we started packing our stuff, and two weeks later Lindsey rescued us in New Mexico.  And we really did make it to Lindsey's house in time for John's birthday. 

This weekend I drove with the kids back down to Houston so we could be there to celebrate Rocklond's birthday.  I'm glad we already had this little trip planned because the delivery date for our stuff was pushed back from the 17th to the 21st.  (Grrr)  I had no desire to spend a whole weekend in our barely furnished house.     

So early Friday morning I put the kids in the car and we drove the three hours to Houston.  I have to add something here.  Some of you may think it is weird that I say I live "only" three hours away from Lindsey.  You have to understand that this is the closest we have lived to each other in EIGHT years.  

We moved the car seats over to Lindsey's SUV almost as soon as we arrived at Lindsey's house.  She took us all to the Houston children's museum   I'm glad she drove because the Houston Freeway system has got to be the craziest looking thing I have ever seen   I would have been too busy gawking at the elaborate layers of bridges, ramps, HOV lanes, freeways, etc to actually pay attention to the road - let alone get to where we needed to go.  

Once in the museum we tried taking the kids through a little place called "Kidtown."  It was really cute. They had little replicas of buildings and the kids could pretend to work at different jobs.  Unfortunately my kids were just a little too young to really get what they were supposed to do.  I ended up taking them to the toddler and baby area upstairs while Lindsey, Rocklond, and Knoxx explored the rest of the museum.  

Charlotte and Lydia LOVED the toddler area.  It really was perfect for their developmental level.  Here they are playing in a car,

In a little house,

In a hole,

and ringing doorbells and opening doors.  They loved this one so much that they now pretend to ring a door bell every time they open our closet door.

Derrick wasn't feeling very well.  Most of the time he wanted me to hold him.  He didn't even smile at his reflection like he normally does.  He did like looking at toys that I would show him.  And at the very end he enjoyed sitting in the car for about 5 minutes.  I kept telling him, well at least you got in for free so it's okay you aren't having a good time.

Charlotte and Lydia are so cute with Derrick.  They are really good at including him.  So when Charlotte saw that he was finally playing with something she came over and sat with him.

Lydia found a slide and went down it over and over and over again.

Lindsey joined up with us again and we took the kids out to a little patio where they could play with tricycles and fisher price cars.  We fed the babies while the kids played.  Derrick and Knoxx are so cute together.  They are only 10 days apart and they have the same coloring (fair skin, platinum blond hair, blue eyes) They are also the biggest baby chunks!  Both of them weigh around 20 pounds.  Derrick is taller, but Knoxx is heavier.

Charlotte and Lydia loved driving around in the cars.  

Then we went outside and the kids played with a water area out there.  It was a little advanced for the girls, but they still had fun.

And then it was time to go.  The kids were very ready for naps.  We tried taking a cute group picture, but as you can see Lydia was in no mood to be part of the group.

So we went back to Lindsey's house.  All the kids (except Charlotte for some reason) slept on the way home.

Later that night Lindsey got a babysitter and she and I went to a baby shower for someone in her ward.  We had thought about leaving the babysitter with all 5 kids, but in the end we took the babies with.  Neither boy was feeling very well and we didn't want to leave a 15 year old alone with them.  Both boys fell asleep and stayed asleep for most of the party.  Even though I didn't know anyone I really liked getting away from the twins and relaxing with other women.

Saturday was Rocklond's Robot Birthday party.  Lindsey modeled tons of qualities that I would like to one day emulate.  For one she is incredibly artistic.  She drew all these robots.

She's also great with large groups of children.  I don't know how many little kids were at the party, but there were A LOT.  And she kept most of them occupied and having fun the whole time.  Here are some of the kids making robot hats.

Here's Lydia modeling her's.  Charlotte spend most of the coloring time drawing on her cheek.  When I saw that I just laughed and said, "that's my little artist."  Then Lydia wanted in on the fun so she drew some lines on her face too.

Lindsey took the kids outside to play games.  This one is Red Robot, Red Robot.  

And then they played with the parachute.  I could tell Charlotte and Lydia were younger than most of Rocklond's friends.  They liked to run under the parachute and stay there.  I felt kind of embarrassed about it, but later Lindsey told me, "I remember when all those older kids were the ones who wouldn't come out from under the parachute."  That made me feel better.

And then it was time for cake.  This was one of the main reasons we we at the party.  My girls have become obsessed with birthdays and birthday cake.  Ever since John's birthday they have mentioned his birthday cake at least once a day.  The other night I was reading to them a conference talk. I said, this one has a story about a boy named John.  They immediately started singing, "Haaapppy Birthdaaaaay, toooooo you, John." and asking for "Happy Cake."  I knew they would love to be there for Rocklond's birthday.

Lindsey had made cupcakes after I put the girls to bed (and fell asleep in the process) on Friday night.  One of the pans she used kept setting off the smoke alarm.  So she couldn't finish baking the cake for Rocklond's party.  Using her awesome improvisation talents she turned a mixing bowl into a robot cake.  It looked so cool.

As predicted Charlotte, Lydia, and Derrick loved the cake - or at least the icing.

Lindsey was so great at making sure everyone got a cupcake and ice cream.  She is so cool under this kind of pressure.  I would have been like, "Whoa, too many people all around me at once."

The party was so fun.  I think I'm just going to hire Lindsey to take care of my kids' birthday parties. She's so talented.

We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing.  Our (literal) dirty secret of the week was that each of the five kids had been battling a combination of diarrhea and/or throwing up for the past several days.  Even the adults were not spared in this problem.  So on Sunday we decided it was best if we all just stayed home from church.  It's not something we would normally have done, but under the circumstances it was the best decision.

It was nice to just relax.  The kids had a great time playing with Rocklond's toys and jumping on a mattress.

Derrick and Knoxx bonded some more.

It so great that we live relatively close to each other.  Lindsey and I didn't have any cousins our age so we like that our kids can experience something we never could.  And of course we are super happy to get to hang out together.  When we were little and would fight my mom would always say, "She's your best friend, and one day you are going to live far away from each other and wish that you could see each other."  I'd always roll my eyes when she'd say that, but it turns out she was right.

Today we came back home.  As fun as the weekend was, I think Derrick prefers to be home.  He'd been super clingy and almost lethargic all weekend.  As soon as we came home he started crawling all over the house and giggling again.

The girls were already talking about Rocklond's "Happy Cake."  So in their eyes it was a great weekend.

I had fun too.  But I'm happy to be home.  If all goes well our stuff should show up tomorrow.  I hope so, because I'm beginning to wonder if Brandon will make it home before our couch does.

Getting out of Debt: One year down.

Well we've been making payments on Brandon's student loans for a year now.  That in an of itself is awesome considering almost a year ago we weren't sure how we were going to pay rent.  Still I sometimes get discouraged when I think that at this rate we still have 14 years to go.    That's where this quote comes in handy.  

I just have to keep in mind that slow progress is still progress.  So even though our debt payoff chart may still have 14 years left on it I need to remember that at least it still doesn't have 15 years on it.

At the beginning of the year I didn't even know the exact amount of what we owed.  Or who exactly we owed it to.  In fact it took me about 3 months to sort through all the paper work, make a spreadsheet, and get everything all figured out.  The first few months I made most of the payments over the phone.  Then as I got everything more organised I was able to get the websites figured out and start making payments there.

Brandon had loans managed by 5 different student loan management organisations.  UHEEA, AES, ACS, Utah State, and Fedloan.  We could have consolidated them into two groups; one group for the private loans, and one group for the federal loans.  However, we decided to keep them all separate because we should be able to use the snowball effect more effectively if they are in separate accounts.  There was some sort of special consolidation thingy that we did take advantage of to consolidate the UHEEA and Fedloan accounts together. So now we only have to worry about making 4 separate payments instead of 5.

At the beginning of the year most of the accounts were still in deferment/forbearance.  We took the money that we would have paid to those accounts and funneled it into the smallest of the loans which is with Utah State.  As each of the loans came out of deferment and forbearance we started paying to those loans.  I some how miscalculated the minimum payment amount for all 5 loans and so our total "minimum" is actually about $85.00 more than the real minimum.  That extra $85 goes into the small Utah State loan.

Thanks to all the extra money that goes into the Utah State loan it should be paid off by about the middle of this year.  Then that extra $85 plus the regular payment will go to one of the other loans (I haven't figured out which one yet.)  This is what it known as the snowball effect.  As each loan gets paid off the amount put into the other loans gets larger and larger like a snowball rolling down a hill.  It's one of the things we are counting on to help us get out of debt quicker than 15 years.

Making double payments is another thing that will help us get out of debt faster.  I was hoping to start doing those as soon as Brandon started getting his army paychecks.  Then I decided it was better to build up some good savings before doing that.  I'm glad I made that decision because between the car repairs, going to Georgia, getting Brandon home for Christmas, and moving to Texas (with more car repairs) we used up ALL of our money.  Once things settle down a bit and we get our tax refund we'll look into the possibility of starting double payments.  At the very least I'd like to start making 1.5 payments or something like that.

We did find out something kind of discouraging.  We'd heard that the army would help pay off at least some of Brandon's student loans.  However, apparently they don't do that anymore.  We're kind of bummed about that, but in the end it's okay.  As misguided at is was, we took out these loans expecting to repay them.  We should be accountable for that decision.

So there you have it.  One year of payments closer to our goal.  Hopefully before the end of the year I'll be able to let you know that we've paid off another years worth of debt.

Settling In

For some reason the girls really latched on to the turkey that we made for Thanksgiving.  He stayed up on our wall all through Christmas.  After Christmas when we started packing Charlotte had a minor meltdown that the tree was gone.  I figured it wasn't just about the tree.  I know that girl well enough to know that she was also upset about the fact we seemed to be packing everything up and saying goodbye to everyone.  I had a talk with her about how we were moving so we could be with Daddy more.  Then I showed her the turkey which was still up on the wall.  She seemed very relieved that "Turkey" hadn't been packed up.  From her response I decided that we better take Turkey with us in the jeep.  

Even with all the craziness from the car breaking down and getting a ride with Lindsey I remembered to bring Turkey.  We put him up in the living room about 5 minutes after we came into the house for the first time.  Charlotte and Lydia jumped up and down and kept pointing and saying, "Turkey, Home."

Two and a half weeks later he's still up on the wall.  The girls still like to point to him and say "Turkey, Home."  Sometimes they like me to move him into their room so they can sleep with him in there.  You could say he's the closest thing we have to a pet. 

The girls are also very happy to have the jeep back.  They make me open the door to the garage so they can check on it at least once a day.  They say, "Jeep, brake" and "Daddy fix the jeep" and "choo, choo" (because there were trains by the place we broke down.) 

Our stuff still isn't here which has some drawbacks of course.  But there are some advantages.  For one I can let the girls play pretty much anywhere and not have to worry about them getting into stuff they shouldn't.  And I would much rather be in a big empty house than bored, cramped, and waiting back in Utah. 

 I'm so glad I thought to pack Derrick's high chair.  He's back on the counter, which despite the safety risk is my favorite place to put him.  He's so easy to feed when he's up there.

 We have my sister's pack'n'play for Derrick, but the girls are sleeping on the floor.  Surprisingly this is going rather well.  The girls usually stay in bed after I put them down for the night.  (Of course I have to put them down when they are really sleepy.)  When our stuff does show up again I'm going to put them in their cribs with the drop sides down.  That way they can get in and out, but they wont fall out as they creep around on their belly's while sleeping.  

 The other day we were watching my wedding video.  Charlotte started having a melt down when she saw the wedding cake. She kept crying for cake.  I figured she really was missing Brandon, but didn't know how to say that.  So we had another talk about how it's okay to miss things.

Then the next day we went grocery shopping (It was the first time I ever took all three kids to the store by myself and it went just fine!) and we bought a cake mix.

We came home and made it.  We somehow aquired some party hats at the children's room of the library on base so we had a little party with the cake.  The girls sing "Happy Birthday" on a second's notice so they started singing.  I told them this was a "Happy New Home Cake" Charlotte shortened it to "Happy Cake." (despite the picture she was really happy about the "Happy Cake.")

 It was good cake.  And it turned out well considering we only had used casserole dish to make it in and I had to substitute one ingredient 

 A few days after we moved in we were visited by the welcoming committee of four neighborhood kids.  They turned out to be LDS which is awesome.  I'm attributing it to more than just chance that I was assigned a house on a street with another LDS family.  The kids are all older than mine, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to play.  On Saturday we all went to the park and Charlotte and Lydia were spoiled beyond belief.  The older kids were actually carrying them up to the slides and then sliding down with them on their laps.

It got a little cold and so we all went to my house.  They kids had fun playing a few rounds of hide and go seek in my big empty house.  Then they found the dress ups that I brought with us.  Here's what we ended up with.

 On Sunday we went to church.  I started out with all three kids, but I'd asked the family in front of me if they would take one of my kids if I needed them too.  Derrick ended up basically inviting himself over to that family.  I think he was thinking, "Why am I sitting with you mom?  I'm supposed to play with other people during sacrament meeting."

The girls went to nursery willingly, but later started crying.  I think they need to get used to the fact that other kids go to nursery too.

As for me, I had a cool surprise.  When I dropped the girls off at nursery Derrick started flirting with another mom's 6 month old baby girl.  He was laughing and waving and she was waving right back.  I started talking to the mom.  We found out that we are from the same town and graduating class.  She went to my high school for a semester before her family moved.  We never met back then, but we had several of the same friends.  After church I came home and found her on facebook.  We have 12 mutual friends.  Again that's something that I'm going to attribute to more than chance.  

I'm glad I found her because I'm actually a little intimidated by the fact that I'm now in a real ward with other real stay at home moms.  I've been the only person like me in my ward for so long that I was worried I'd forgot how to interact.  And even in Relief Society I found myself wanting to talk to the 65 year olds more than the other moms with babies in their arms.  I'm sure I'll learn though.

Anyway, things are going well.  I'm having so much fun here.  Every day is an adventure in finding somewhere, registering for something, or just exploring.  Even with Brandon gone I'm so glad we moved here.

Fourths

This is a momentous occasion   For the very first time I am publishing a blog post with an internet connection that I own!

For the past 4 1/2 years of illguthlife's existence I've used internet connections belonging to USU, work, neighbors, parents, in-laws, other family members, libraries, hotels, airports, hospitals, and even a laundry mat.  But never in all that time have I had my own internet.  I do now!  I figured since I basically have a free house with free utilities I might as well pay for my own internet.

Anyway, on to the real part of this post.

You know how I'm always saying that life changes fast?  Well today is January 11th.  A month ago on December 11 I attended Brandon's Turning Blue Ceremony.  That was only a month ago!  At that time we had no idea we'd be stationed at Fort Hood - let alone that we would move and get a house so quickly.  But here we are now.  Or rather, here most of us are now.  Brandon's actually with his unit in California for some training until February. Yeah, the whole free house deal comes with some drawbacks - but I'm not complaining. It's the life.  

It's crazy to think back over all the changes that happened in the last year.  Most of them revolve around the 4th of the month so I'm going to revisit the fourth day of some months during the past year.  Some of them have blog posts associated with them.  Click on the dates to read the posts.

One year ago: Wednesday January 4, 2012 - This is the day that Brandon found out that he was lacking some qualifications for the FAA jobs he'd been pursuing for the last year.  Both of us had no idea what to do next.

Ten months ago: Sunday March 4, 2012 - We were in the middle of our move to our downstairs apartment.  Brandon got a phone call from his Army recruiter telling him he was going to take the ASVAB test as part of his enlistment processing the next day.  He hadn't studied much for the test and so he became very nervous.  (He ended up getting a very high score on the test anyway.)

Nine months ago: Wednesday April 4, 2012 - Derrick's due date.  I was pretty unhappy that I was still pregnant. I felt like Derrick would never come.  

Six months ago: Wednesday July 4, 2012 - This was day six of our road trip to Colorado.  It was kind of a stressful day, but it ended with a nice dinner with good friends.

Four months ago: Tuesday September 4, 2012 - Brandon was sworn into active duty in the army and went to basic training at Fort Hood.

One month ago: Tuesday December 4, 2012 - Brandon finished FTX and was able to call me for the first time in about a week and a half.  This is when I found out that he'd been doing his AIT (Advanced Individual Training) all along and that as soon as he graduated he'd be assigned to his permanent duty station and we could move with him as soon as we wanted to.

Current Month: January 4, 2013 - Our first full day in our new home.  Brandon went to work with his unit and I ran errands with the kids.  (Which means I used the MacDonald's wifi to look up important phone numbers and addresses.)

And what will the next month hold?  Well, hopefully we will get our furniture and other stuff delivered soon.  Yeah, that's right, it's still not here.  It's the life.  Thankfully my amazing sister let us borrow some camp chairs, bar stools, and a pack'n'play along with other stuff.  Plus there is a place here on base that provided us with a table, folding chairs, pots, pans, other dishes, and a microwave. Next time, if we actually get time to plan out the whole moving process, we'll do what's called a DITY and move it all ourselves.

And of course next month Brandon will be back home and we can continue to ride this roller coaster called life together as a family.

Move to Texas - In 5 Acts

It was only three weeks ago that I decided to move as soon as possible to Texas.  Now we are here! In a house! I think I have whiplash from how fast everything happened.  And the move itself was crazy.  It was so full of drama I think the story deserves to be told in acts like a play.  

Act 1: Packing

The day after Christmas quite was quite literally Boxing Day in our family.  We could have just let the moving company take care of boxing everything, but we wanted to box some stuff up ourselves.  Plus we needed to clean our apartment for moving out and we couldn't do that with a bunch of stuff in the way.  

Wednesday night Lydia climbed out of her crib for the first time and helped me and Brandon pack up stuff until 1:00 am.  The next day I found her on the couch like this.

 On Thursday a lot of people from the branch came over to help us clean.  I patched up the walls.

 The girls really enjoyed helping put things in boxes (and then take them out.)

 Charlotte set up this little dinner party using all the boxes.

 Amid all the craziness I turned on the wrong stove top burner and lit the toaster on fire.  I think its a fitting end for a toaster.

Act 2: Road Trip
Friday morning we woke up early and said goodbye to the apartment.  Then we drove to Smiths MarketPlace and got gas.  The Bountiful Temple is visible from the parking lot so I was able to say goodbye to it.

 The kids were excited for the trip.  We were too.  We have gone on so many road trips that this move didn't seem that daunting.

 We had a slow, snowy drive down I-15 and through Spanish Fork Canyon.  Eventually we made it to Green River and stopped at the (overpriced) River History Museum to stretch our legs.

 Then we continued driving south.  It was odd to see the desert covered in snow.

 We stopped again at the Monticello, Ut Temple for another leg stretch.

 And one of our oh so fun "in the car lunch" breaks.

 And then another walk around the temple.  (These girls are so cute!  They decided to hold hands by themselves)

 Our goal for the day was Cortez, Colorado.  We actually pushed on a little further and made it to Durango. We found a motel  and made ourselves at home.

 Charlotte and Lydia were able to sleep the whole night sharing a queen bed and not falling out.  Derrick started out on his own in a little crib we made with chairs, but he found his way into our bed.

 The next day we crossed the border into New Mexico.

 I fell in love with the state.  It is so beautiful!  I'm looking forward to lots of trips back to Utah through this state.

 The kids did really well in the car.

 They were pretty happy to look out the window or play with toys as we drove.

 We stopped at a Whataburger in Albuquerque for a late Lunch.

 Derrick enjoyed his spoon.

 And then we found a park so the kids could have some fun.

 Act 3: Stranded
Our original goal for the day had been Lubbock, Texas, but it was getting late so we decided to try to make it to Clovis which is near the New Mexico/Texas boarder.  Unfortunately we never made it that far.  The jeep started making a squealing sound and so Brandon pulled over at a gas station in a little town called Melrose.

He opened the hood and found that the engine belt was basically shredded.  He investigated further and found that the pulley that turns the heater had seized up.  The kids and I stayed in the car while he went into the gas station and started asking for help.

 We were having an okay time in the car.  I was a little worried, but I decided that if worst came to worst we could just fold down the back seat and sleep in the jeep.  Charlotte, Lydia and Derrick liked playing around with everything in the front seats.  As an added bonus there was a train track across the highway and trains went by at least every 15 minutes.  The girls loved watching the trains.  They were also scared of them and jumped in my lap every time one went by.

The employees of the gas station invited us in.  I didn't like the idea of my three kids turned loose so I just opted to stay in the car.  It was dark outside, but still rather warm in the jeep.  The gas station attendants brought us some food from the restaurant that was part of the gas station.

Meanwhile Brandon was trying to fix the jeep.  Several people stopped to help.  One of the gas station attendants got on the phone and called some of her relatives.  Soon we had 5 people working on the jeep.  Within an hour they'd replaced the belt (for free).  We were so happy and pulled out of the parking lot feeling very grateful 

We made it 150 feet before we heard the squeal again. Brandon got out and cursed the jeep.  Then he went to work on it again.  He was hoping that he could just take the heater off and that would solve the problem.  It didn't.  I convinced him to turn us around and take us back to the gas station where at least he could have light to help him work.  He'd taken the belt off so we drove back with just battery power.  We barely made it.

The kids had fallen asleep, but now they were waking up again.  I decided we better hunker down for the night.  I started to take the car seats out of the car so I could fold down the seat and make a bed for the kids.  One of the gas station attendants came outside and told me we could stay at her house for the night.  My mile wide independent streak told me to say no, but one look at Charlotte shivering in the cold told me to say yes.

Nicky (I didn't learn her name until the next morning) helped me move the car seats over to her extended cab truck.  She had a baby so there was already a car seat base for Derrick.  I sat on Brandon's lap and Nicky drove us over to her house.  Her husband BJ (who'd been helping with the jeep earlier) met us there.  They didn't have much to offer, but they did have blankets and two couches.  Charlotte and Lydia fell right asleep on the floor and Brandon and I took the couches.  I fell asleep that night feeling like I'd just been shown the best lesson in Christlike service.

In the morning Nicky took us back to the Jeep.  The kids and I played around in there while Brandon tried to figure out the jeep again.  We were at a loss as to what to do.  It was Sunday so all the repair shops were closed.  Brandon was hoping he could fabricate a part, but when he finally got the pulley free he realized that wouldn't be possible.

About this time the gas station owner and his wife offered us the use of their old minivan.  They let us take it into Clovis so we could get a motel.  They said the van wasn't in the best shape, but it was running.  We accepted it gratefully.

As we drove the 20 miles into town Brandon and I shared a stressed laugh about how eerily similar this whole situation was to our honeymoon.  At that time it was the air conditioner that went out and refused to turn the belt on our crappy Pontiac.  We'd driven it to the dealer/repair shop on battery power.  As a final similarity we'd ended up borrowing my friend Sunshine's old minivan to go back to our bed and breakfast.

Clovis had plenty of motels.  We ended up picking the Travel Lodge.  I've never been so happy to stay in a rented room.  We cranked the heater up to 80 degrees and we all took hot baths.

 The girls had fun playing in the room.  Charlotte got sleepy and decided this drawer would make a good bed.

I set up this fun little table for the kids.  

 Brandon went to Walmart and bought some tools.  That was about all he could do for the day so he ended up taking a nap along with the girls.  I blogged about Christmas.

 Later we watched the Lion King on TV.  It was a stressful situation, but I kept telling Brandon that I would rather be here with him than stuck back in Bountiful without him.

 We'd heard New Mexico is the place to get good Mexican food so Brandon went out and found some.  It was really really good.

 When he came back we were surprised to see that it was snowing outside.  I just laughed and said, "just when I thought things couldn't get any worse."  Little did I know how "worse" things could get.  

I'll spare you the full play by play of what happened on Monday.  Basically every plan that we came up with didn't work.  Here are the lowlights:

The dealer wouldn't have the part until Thursday.  That wouldn't work because Brandon had already had his pass extended to Wednesday morning and he felt back enough about that.

Repair shops were out of the question because most of them were closing early because it was New Years Eve.  Plus they couldn't do much without the right part.

We tried getting a mechanic to look at the part, but in the end there was nothing they could do.

We couldn't rent a car because the only rental car place in town only took credit cards.  This made me super mad because I have NEVER had a problem only having a debit card.  To top it off the dipwads in the office acted like they could care less about our problem.  You can bet that I will NEVER rent a car from Enterprise EVER!

Act 4: Rescue

Things were getting pretty bad and Brandon and I had one of those "conversations" where we said a lot of what we felt and nothing that we actually meant.  Not exactly our best moment.

At this point my sister Lindsey called me.  I'd been updating her on our lack of progress though out the day.  I told her that we couldn't rent a car.  She replied with, "I'm coming to get you. I just need to finish packing some things."   Her reasoning was that if we had rented a car we probably would have borrowed her car anyway to go back and get the jeep.  So it might as well make the trip now.

We decided that she would come get us and tow the jeep back to Fort Hood.  It felt good to have a plan again.  We went into Walmart and brought some things to help tow the jeep.  We also decided we might as well celebrate New Year's so we bought food for that.

 We went back to Travel Lodge and got another room.  This time we got one with three beds so Lindsey could have somewhere to sleep after completing her 10 hour drive.

 Then we had a little New Years Party. We didn't have our traditional Smorgasbord  but we did have shrimp so I was pretty happy.

 Charlotte loved the mini-fridge and microwave   I think she thought they were play ones.  She rearranged the food about 10 times.

Lindsey and her kids arrived around 2:00 in the morning.  In the morning the cousins were all happy to see eachother.

 Brandon went back to Melrose to get the jeep ready for towing.  Lindsey and I had an adventure taking 5 kids to breakfast.

We also had the fun of trying to keep the kids happy.  We ended up taking them to a Burger King Play Place.  (BTW this is day three of wearing the same shirt.  I decided to mix things up a bit and wear the undershirt on the outside.)

 I'll let Lindsey tell you about the rest of the day.  Kick here to read her hilarious account of what was actually a very sad story.  She tells it in a way that I never could.  

Did you read it?  Well you should.  Here is the link again.  Seriously go there and read it.  

Okay well now you know what happened.  Our plan didn't work - again.  There is a movie called Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.  Steve Martin is trying to get home for the holidays and everything is going wrong.  Eventually he is so upset that he just says the F-Word over and over about 20 times.  That's about where we were.   

 We gave up, moved the car top carrier over to the top of Lindsey's car, pushed the jeep behind the gas station, and just left.  We were out of time.  Brandon had to report for duty within 12 hours and we had a 7.5 hour drive ahead of us.

It was a long night of driving, but us three adults somehow kept each other awake.  We made it to Fort Hood and dropped Brandon off at his unit for PT training.  A few hours later Brandon and I were able to pick up the keys and see our new house.  Thank goodness for the house or I might have really started to doubt this decision.

Brandon stayed at the base.  The kids and I continued on another 3 hours to Houston where we all relaxed.  Charlotte kept saying, "Car, broke" and "Lindsey's, Car" and "Choo, Choo" and "Jeep, Fix, Daddy."  

 Derrick refused to sit or be put down on the floor.  He screamed himself to sleep at night and I found him in this position.  (And like an idiot I tried to lay him down and had to deal with more screaming.)

Act 5: Recovery
The next day John and Lindsey let us borrow their other car to go back home to Fort Hood and then to go back for the jeep.  The kids were very happy to be back at our "Nu, Home."  

Brandon and I originally planned to drive back to New Mexico on Friday night, but then we realized we just needed to relax.  So we put the kids to bed and then watched a movie together on the laptop.  In the almost two weeks since Brandon came home, this was our first, "date night."  

On Saturday morning Brandon went to a pick and pull in Killeen and found the part he needed.  It cost $23.00.  Then we started the LONG drive back to New Mexico.  Lindsey had offered to take the kids, but we decided we would rather spend time together as a family.  Even if it was going to be rather difficult time.

 We stopped at a Burger King for Ice cream.  It was fun to see the girls try to eat such big cones.

 Another stop was at a truck stop that happened to have a playground - best idea ever!

 Finally we made it back to the gas station in Melrose.  I figured after staying overnight in a stranger's house and using another strangers car I wasn't afraid of being embarrassed by my kids running loose in the gas station/restaurant.  So we went inside and had dinner in the warmth while Brandon worked in the cold.  The kids were actually well behaved (if you ignore the fact that they ate sugar off the table and tried to collect all the Splanda packets from every table.)

 After 2 hours of work Brandon announced VICTORY!  The jeep was running again without a single squeal.   We were overjoyed.  All in all it would have been an easy fix if it had only happened in a populated area on a regular weekday.

It was after 10:00 and we had seen enough of Melrose and Clovis to last us a while.  So we just started driving.  I drove Lindsey's car and Brandon followed me in the jeep.  We made it about 60 miles before we pulled over for a snooze.  Brandon joined me in the car.  The kids woke up when the car stopped moving, but they fell asleep when we brought them up front with us.

 After a few hours we started driving again.  We made it another 90 or so miles before it became apparent that we needed another break.  I was slapping myself to stay awake, and I could see Brandon's headlights weaving in my rear view mirror.  At the next sign of civilization I pulled over again and we had another family cuddle session.

 That nap was enough to get us the rest of the way home.  We stopped a few more times.  Once at a Walmart to buy breakfast and diapers because for the first time EVER I walked out the door without checking how many diapers were in the diaper bag.

We also stopped at a park.  We all had fun playing on one of those old school merry-go-round things.  Brandon had fun showing the kids (and me) some basic physics principles.

Eventually we made it home.  We were tired and dirty, but we were oh so happy.  I took my shoes off for the first time in 27 hours.  That was a weird feeling.

So now the jeep is back with us and we have a wonderful new home.  Now we just need our stuff to show up.

I would not want to repeat the experience.  But I am so glad that we are here in Texas.