Youth Conference 2002 - Handcart Trek

I think I still have post traumatic stress disorder from the few days that I spent on a handcart trek for Youth Conference. Keep that in mind as you read this post. I'm going to write about the things that went wrong on this trek. I'm not doing this to get even with anyone or to point any fingers. I'm doing it as a public service announcement of "what not to do" for any of you who might end up planning a handcart trek. This post will break my rule about only writing positive things about people, but I'll try to protect people's privacy as much as possible (of course those of you who suffered through the trek will know who I am talking about.) 

https://history.lds.org/overlandtravels/

The ironic thing is that I really really really wanted to go on a handcart trek for Youth Conference. I'd loved the handcart trek during my first year of OYA (called OEFY then) and I thought it would be the funnest thing for my stake to do. Back in January the youth council, which I was a part of, started planning some sort of trek on some property in Wyoming. Then the announcement came that the Stake would be dissolved and all planning for youth conference stopped. Luckily my new stake just so happened to be planning a handcart trek too! I was so happy to find that out. It even seemed to be better organized than the one we had been planning.

The trek would held the first week of August. It would be in the mountains above Castle Valley. The last night we would go see the Castle Valley Pageant which I'd seen two years before and loved. I immediately started anticipating the trek and getting everyone in my ward excited about it.

The stake leaders decided that all the participants would be divided up into families. The families would be lead by 17 and 18 year old Ma's and Pa's. The adults would go as Grandparents and provide the needed adult supervision. Adults would also be drivers and transport a lot of the equipment from campsite to campsite. I really wanted to be a Ma. For weeks I hoped that I would be picked to be one. However, I was not initially picked. A lot of my friends were chosen and I felt very left out. Then in late May I finally came to terms with the fact that I would just have to enjoy the trek as a participant. A few days after I reached that conclusion I was asked to serve as a Ma.

Then I moved on to anticipating who I would be paired up with. Several of the guys I'd known since Jr high were Pas and I wondered if I would be assigned to be with one of them. I discussed the subject with my friend Anthony in orchestra. He teased me that I'd be paired up with Mike J. Mike and I had been together in orchestra and other classes since 7th grade. We were friends, but usually argued with each other about small stupid details. Working together on a trek would have been a test of both of our patience. I also spent a lot of time discussing the subject with Elizabeth E and Brian W.. They were the the other Ma and Pa from my ward. We speculated who would be with who.

The long anticipated day came and we all gathered to find out who we would be pretend married too. The stake leaders had randomly assigned us to our partners. I ended up with a guy named Glen B. At first I didn't know who he was, but then I remembered that we'd been in orchestra together in Jr High. He was a year older than me and played violin. He'd been very quiet. He hadn't gone to Kearns High so I hadn't seen him in a few years. He was still quiet. I was just glad I wasn't with Mike.

Brian was paired with my friend Amanda W. I'd known Amanda since at least 6th grade. She was very nice. Elizabeth was paired with Manti L. This was a very good match as they later got married and have lived happily ever after. I knew Manti from my social dance class. I kind of thought he was cocky and I was glad I was paired with quiet Glen instead of him.

After we were assigned our spouses we had another meeting to pick our family members. Every participant had previously filled out a form where they indicated who they would like for a buddy. My friends David W and Willis A has asked to be buddies. However, some leaders thought that they would be terrible together, and had forced them to pick other buddies. David told me that he didn't even want to go if he wasn't in Willis' family. I wanted David and Willis and everyone else in my ward to go on the trek and have a good time so I made a deal with David and later Willis. I told them that I would request that they be in my family – together. In return they would have to promise to be perfect little angels and not give me any problems. They readily agreed to the deal. The night that we were assigned our family members we were each given the chance to pick one buddy pair to be in our family. I told the stake leaders that I wanted David and Willis together. After some debate on their part and some convincing on my part, my request was granted. Glen didn't really have a preference as to who he especially wanted in the family so I told him to request Brad V to be in our family. I'd known Brad from Jr high orchestra and I knew he would be fun to have in the family. All the other family members were randomly assigned to us and I didn't know any of them.

Elizabeth E requested Elizabeth W and my sister Lindsey for her family. Manti requested Michelle F for his family, it was the first time I remember hearing about the girl who two years later I would despise with a passion (I'm over it now, I just thought I'd bring it up.) Brian ended up with Brittney T, Rebecca A, and Faith A as his daughters. Everyone that I knew was pretty happy with where they were assigned.

The family assignments happened toward the beginning of the summer, school might have still been in session. Several weeks later in the middle of July we had an activity where we met our families. In the meantime there had been some changes to the members of each of the 10 families. Changes would continue to happen even up to the day we left on the trek. In my opinion, this was a huge mistake. The changes made it so families had a hard time getting to know each other. Everyone knew that if you didn't get along with someone you could just complain enough and get moved. It almost would have been better to assign the family members randomly on the first day of the trek and tell everyone that they would just have to learn to get along.

At the activity in July Glen and I talked to our kids and told them what was expected and stuff like that. We read over the suggested packing list. Glen read that we were going to have a first aid kit with 5 band aids. He joked with the kids that they could only get hurt 5 times. We made a flag as a family and tried to get to know each other. I remember glancing around at the other families sitting at the other picnic benches and seeing how each of them were doing. Elizabeth's group was near mine and I couldn't help laughing. Prior to the meeting her and Manti had gone all out planning their family. As far as I can remember this was their family story. They were from Scotland. He was blacksmith and she was a seamstress. They'd even combined the letters of their last names to make up their family last name. They'd had it all worked out so perfectly and then the kids came along. In addition to the people they had picked they had been assigned Chad G and Simi M. Chad and Simi were the David and Willis of their ward, but they weren't under a promise to behave. I'm not sure what was going on, but from the look on Elizabeth and Manti's faces it appeared that Chad and Simi were not interested in playing house.

The get to know you activity ended, but my ward hung around. Most of us had been hanging out together all summer and we had become good friends. We played a game of chicken fighting and some other games. Part of me wished that we could all just be a family together and forget about our assigned families.

The actual trek continued to get closer, and we began preparing for it more and more. Everyone was required to wear pioneer clothing on the trek and I was busy sewing my dresses. Part of the requirements were long sleeves. I was not interested in walking several miles in the middle of August wearing long sleeves so I sewed some modifications into my two outfits. The first one was a blouse with huge puffy sleeves. I put elastic in the sleeves above the elbow and below the elbow. That way I could push the sleeves up higher and cool off. The other blouse was part of a dress. I sewed long zippers into the underside of each sleeve (Anthony and I thought this up one day during sectionals). I could unzip the zippers and my arms would be nice and cool. I could even roll up the sleeves if I wanted to.

Another thing I had to get ready was my “baby.” Each Ma was given a rag baby doll. The dolls were just plain white cloth stuffed with batting and it was each Ma's job to give the baby hair and eyes and clothes. I was busy with my real family's camping trip and OYA so I never really got a chance to make the baby very cute. I just glued on black buttons for eyes, drew on a red mouth, and added brown yarn for the hair. I think I just made a simple shirt and pants for clothes. It looked like a boy and I think we named him as a family, but I can't remember his name. Elizabeth and Manti on the other hand went all out for their baby. They named it, lovingly made it outfits, and even crocheted a wrap for it and wore it strapped to their backs at all times.

The final thing I did to prepare for the trek was to decorate my bucket. Every participant was given a square 5 gallon bucket to pack everything into. We each decorated ours. On the inside of the lid I wrote this quote from Shakespeare's As You Like It. It would prove to be a little ironic.

Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything. (2.1.13)

About a week and a half before the trek I came home from OYA. I was a little concerned about some things. Namely, the amount of room that we would have in our handcarts. At OYA we used two handcarts to transport a weeks worth of clothes, bedding, and toiletries for about 14 people. And those handcarts were very full. On this trek each family of about 20 was going to have one handcart to transport buckets, bedding, tents, food, cooking supplies, and water. I didn't see how it would all fit. I called up the stake Young Womens' president and told her what was concerning me. She talked to some other people and they decided that the handcarts would only transport the buckets, bedding, snacks, and water. Everything else would be handled by the drivers. This resulted in both good and bad outcomes. Good because we had barely enough room for the buckets, bad because we were separated from a lot of our stuff.

The day of the trek finally came. Excitedly I dressed in my pioneer clothes and went over to the Stake Center. We were supposed to leave fairly early; however, the departure was delayed do to more family readjustments. My family lost a kid or two, but gained some more. I hardly knew who was in my family any more. Eventually we were given the go ahead to leave. After all that family adjusting we were split up and just rode with our own wards. My mom drove our 15 passenger van with many of our ward members. We drove down to Castle Valley, Utah and then into the mountains. The cars dropped us off and we got back into our families and tried to sort out our stuff. The truck with the handcarts showed up and we all had to wait/help while our handcarts were assembled. I think we even had lunch. It was late in the day before we actually started pulling the handcarts.

At first everything was going great. Most of the family members were helping push and pull the handcart. Then the road we were following became fairly steep and the going became harder. The road was also deeply rutted and it was hard to walk on even without the handcart. More and more people stopped helping with the cart and just focused on walking. Each family became more spread out. We were told we were almost there, but then there turned out to be only halfway.

I don't remember how long we walked, but eventually we made it to the first campsite. Our tents and other gear were waiting for us and we picked out an area and set up camp. David and Willis, who everyone thought I was crazy for wanting in my group, turned out to be little angels just like they had promised. They worked harder than anyone else setting up the tents and getting the campsite ready.

The girls were supposed to be cooking dinner. The way food was handled on this trek was what I consider the biggest mistake of the entire ordeal. Back in one of the planning meetings someone had asked the Ma's and Pa's if they would rather cook dinner from scratch or just open up a can of something and have an easy meal. Some people, who will remain anonymous, thought it would be a great idea to make everything from scratch. I was not one of those people. Unlike those unnamed people I actually had a lot of camping experience. I knew that after a long day of walking no one was going to want to cook a meal more complicated than something they usually cooked at home. I was all for opening up a can of Dinty More stew and calling it good. However, the unnamed people were very vocal and very excited about cooking while on the trek. We ended up with most complicated camping menu ever. Dinner that first night was stew. The stew had about 20 different ingredients such as canned corn, canned peas, diced carrots, stew beef, and potatoes. Just opening all the different cans would have been too complicated after pulling a handcart and setting up camp. In addition to the cans we had to wash, peel, and slice the carrots; wash, peel, and slice the potatoes; and to top it all off we had to brown the stewing beef. We had to do all this with no running water, a few cutting boards, and a large double burner propane stove. I think we had a small table to use as a work surface, but we might have just had coolers. I thought the whole situation was ridiculous.

Unfortunately I couldn't just give up and wander off. I was the Ma and had to set a good example for all the other participants. I also had to deal with my “In laws” Most families on the trek had two adult couples acting as Grandparents. And in most of those families at least one set of Grandparents were away driving support vehicles most of the day. But somehow I had ended up with 3 sets of Grandparents and none of them were drivers. Conversations among my mother-in-laws went something like this: MIL #1: This is how I think we should do it. MIL #2: Well, this is how I think we should do it. MIL #3: No, We need to do it this way. Then they would all stand and look at each other and try to figure out how to get their way without offending the other two. And then in unison they would all turn to me and say, “How does our Ma think we should do it?” It was an impossible situation to be in and I hated it every time they did it to me.

Somehow dinner was eventually cooked. It was dark by the time we were done eating dinner. Every other family's stew had taken a long time to prepare too so we weren't the only ones having problems. I think we were supposed to have a square dancing lesson, but everyone was too tired and it was too dark. Instead the leaders just had a short campfire program and then sent us to bed.

I woke up the next morning still feeling pretty optimistic about the whole experience. Everyone in my ward still seemed to be having a good time, and I could deal with the few poorly planned things.

Breakfast took forever to get ready. I think it was apple turnovers, or scones or something like that. All I know is that none of the ingredients were premixed. I somehow got out of being involved in breakfast and supervised taking down the tents. This was easy because once again David and Willis were wonderful. Even though the tents would just be set up again at night they still took the time to carefully roll up the tents and fit them back into the bags. Brad was also pretty helpful and I was glad that he was in the family. The other boys in my family were all pretty worthless. We had a lot of big Samoan guys and you'd think that they would be perfect for pulling a hard cart. But instead they all complained that the food made them too sick to pull. Even Glen complained that his back hurt. The Grandpa's weren't much help either. One, bless his heart, was probably in his 60's and so couldn't do much. Another spent most of his time keeping one especially annoying boy out of everyone else's hair. And the third was a Samoan who spent most of his time playing his ukulele and singing about the trek. He literally walked behind the handcart strumming his ukulele while the rest of the family pushed and pulled. Luckily for him he was funny and good natured and helped out by lightening all of our moods – even though he didn't do much to lighten our physical needs.

The nice thing about the day's journey was that it was going to be along a mostly level road. We'd spent the day before climbing to the top of a plateau and this second day was going to be along the top. We hadn't got quite as far as we wanted to the day before so we hoped to make up the time on this day. Once breakfast was eaten we took down the large propane stove and loaded it into the truck with all the other families stoves. Our tents were loaded into another truck. The day before we had pulled the carts with our buckets and our sleeping bags. However, the sleeping bags had been constantly falling off. Today we were told to load the bags into the support vehicles. The trucks were mostly full so we loaded the bags into the trunks and backseats of cars. It took forever to get the bags organized. All the vehicles drove off to the area that would be our second campsite.

We put our buckets, water, and snacks into our handcart and started out. I was in a pretty good mood. About halfway through the morning we were standing in a large field. The lead cart stopped and word came back to us that there was a fork in the road. The lead family didn't know which way to go. Someone went to the front and told them to take the right fork. All the carts started traveling down that road. Soon word passed down the carts that the right fork was really the wrong one. We were told to turn around and take the left fork. But before any carts actually made it back to the fork in the road we were told to stop again. We waited a long time in the hot sun while the stake leaders discussed which way to go. Then we were told that the right fork had been the right one all along and we turned the carts around again and continued on.

Thanks to the long wait we didn't make it to our planned lunch spot. We did stop in a nice grove of small aspen trees. It would have been a perfect place to stop except there weren't any bathrooms. We had two port-o-potties on a trailer, but they were way up ahead at the spot we were supposed to stop at for lunch. Everyone had go off in the bushes to do their business. (Of all the things we had to deal with on this trek this was what bothered me the least)

I think we had sandwiches for lunch. Just FYI sandwiches are not as easy they may sound. Especially when you really have no work station to make them on. Then we were on our way again.

The road was fairly level and for the most part it was in the shade. We walked through some very pretty scenery. Even the level road and less stuff to carry didn't help us make up lost time. We were told to stop for the night at a place that was reportedly 6 miles away from where the second campsite was supposed to be. This spot wasn't a very good campsite for a large group of people. The night before we had all been in a large field. Tonight we were spread out along the road. My family ended up with a spot that wasn't entirely level.

The support vehicles had unloaded all of our stuff at the other campsite. We all had to wait while they reloaded everything and drove it back. I remember sitting on the side of the road watching the trucks come back. Brad, David, and Willis were with me and we would eagerly look into the bed of each truck hoping to see something that belonged to us. We found some of our coolers and we sat on those while we waited. Our Samoan Grandpa came over and entertained us all with silly jokes and stories. While we waited David whittled a branch down so that it was four posts that held a wooden ball inside of them. At one point Brad and I were sitting on a cooler when I felt something down the front of my shirt. I told Brad to look away and I pulled my shirt collar open and saw a little green spider crawling around. I hurried and pulled it out. Brad was impressed I didn't scream. When the tents did go by my wonderful boys went and got them and set them up for me.

The truck with the stoves arrived and we started making dinner. By this time I was pretty disheartened and I didn't even care what happened with dinner. I don't remember what we had, but I'm sure it was complicated. 

That night we had a group devotional where each family acted out a scene from the family history of someone in their family. Then someone talked to us about the Mormon Battalion. I spent almost all of the night laying down on my jacket in the road. I didn't participate at all. I didn't want to participate. I'd lost a lot of respect for many of the leaders. I couldn't believe that we had gotten lost, or that they had overestimated how long it would take for us to travel. When they had first scouted out the location in the spring they had just driven the road. They hadn't even bothered to get out of their cars and walk along the road to see how long it might take. Each family had been given maps, but the maps were terrible. They showed too much general detail, but not enough specific detail. For instance, one map showed every stream and road, but didn't indicate where we were starting from. Another map showed our intended route, but didn't have any landmarks on it. I was also concerned because our water was running out and we still had a whole day left to travel. Basically I was fed up with the whole ordeal.

Other people were also getting a little fed up. My friend Mike's family was camping just down the road from us. The port-o-potty trailer was parked in front of their campsite. I remember watching him and a couple of his “sons” throw small rocks at the trailer for about an hour. No one was using the port-o-potties because all the bouncing around on the road all day had made the contents slosh around. It was a disgusting mess.

The next morning I was still pretty mad at everything. All the families were told to bring their babies to the devotional the next morning. Most families had given up on their babies. Brian and Amanda's baby had basically been trapped under their water cooler for the past two days. My baby's glued on eyes had fallen off on the first day. Before the devotional I found a sharpy and drew some new eyes on to it's face. At the devotional all the Ma's and Pa's were called to the front with their babies. We were told that their had been a cholera epidemic and all the babies had died during the night. This was pretty traumatic news for some people, but for me all I could think was, “oh and just when he got new eyes.”

Everyone participated in a bloomers competition. I'd made my bloomers out of silky blue fabric and I thought they were pretty cute. But I didn't even care about the competition. Then we were given 20 minutes to go off on our own and write letters to our parents. Mine was a catalog of everything that had gone wrong. I was pretty much done with even trying to play along. At one point the Stake Young Women's President asked me what was wrong and I rudely told her that this was the most poorly planned thing I had ever been a part of. (For me this is the worst insult I can give. On the other hand, something that is the best planned or best organized is the highest complement)

The lack of organization was driving me nuts. I couldn't believe that no one had considered how difficult it would be for 200 people and 10 carts to travel on a dirt road for 3 days. I was also upset over the fact that no one seemed to be in charge. One of the high council members was the Trail Boss. In my opinion he should have been the only one to address the rest of the group. Instead all the stake leaders gave directions when ever they felt like it. This would have been okay except the directions were usually contradictory. It was hard know if you should listen to the Stake President, his councilors, the Stake Young Women's President, the Stake Young Men's president, or any one of the various high councilors. In addition to these stake leaders there were Bishops and Ward Young Men/Women Presidents who were constantly giving directions to their ward members. And then to add to the confusion there were the Grandparents. Those of us who were Ma's and Pa's had absolutely no idea what was going on, but we were supposed to filter out all the information and give it to our families so they could do what they were supposed to. It was ridiculous.

I was also really concerned about our water situation. Each family was given a 5 gallon cooler of water which we used to fill up water bottles. The coolers were filled up from the support vehicles. By this time the coolers were still full, but we were told their would be no more refills. I had no idea how we could be expected to walk and pull carts without water. The leaders were all concerned about this too. Then a miracle happened. A truck pulling a trailer with a huge drum of water drove down the road and stopped near our spread out campsite. The driver explained that the water had been for a group of people that had been on a horse back riding trip. The trip was over and the driver wondered if we wanted any of the water. The leaders told him yes and thank you and all the coolers, and water bottles were refilled. Later I would realize that even though the Stake Leaders were human and could make mistakes; Heavenly Father was in control and would make sure we were okay.

Once we finally got going we were supposed to do what is called a Women's Pull. This is where the men are told not to help push or pull the handcart and watch while the women do it all. It is supposed to teach the men about how amazing the women are – or something. Two weeks prior I had done it on the little handcart trek at OYA. The boys had been taken away for about an hour. Us girls pulled the cart and sang together. Then we went up a steep hill and the boys were watching us from the top. It had been a really cool bonding moment. This time the men and boys were told to just walk along side the cart and watch as the women and girls pulled. Thanks to our wimpy Samoan boys this really wasn't much different than how most of the trek had been anyway. But without David, Willis, and Brad the handcart was harder to pull. The Women's Pull only lasted a short time and then the men helped us up a small hill.

At the top of the hill we pulled the carts across a field until we came to an area where we were told to stop. The leaders had decided that there was no way we could finish the trek. We were told to unload our buckets and take apart the handcarts. The carts were put into trucks and driven down the mountain. We were still too high up on the mountain for most of the passenger cars to reach us. We had to walk down off the mountain carrying our buckets.

At this point I gave up on the members of my “family” and started making sure the members of my ward were doing okay. I'd start out at the front of the group and walk a little ways with Brad and my sister Lindsey. Then I'd slow down and check in with David, Willis, Brittney, Rebecca, Elizabeth W, Brian, Faith, Lindsey P, and Emily W. Out of all of us Emily and Lindsey were the only ones that weren't in dysfunctional families. Even after the carts were taken apart they were still having a good time together. After checking on everyone I would speed up and walk past everyone again and get to the front of the group where I would start all over again. This helped me pass the approximately two hours it took to walk down off the mountain.

We were told that lunch would be waiting for us at the bottom. But when we got to the place where all the cars were parked we didn't see any lunch. Somehow the members of my ward got a hold of a bucket full of granola bars. We sat in a circle on our buckets and had the bucket of food in the middle. We didn't want anyone else to know that we had food so we pretended it was full of garbage. When ever anyone asked what was in the bucket we said it was a trash can. When no one else was looking we'd sneak out granola bars.

There was a flat bed trailer with some boxes on it. It was one of our support vehicles and the boxes were full of chips. The Stake President came down off the mountain and jumped up on the trailer. He opened the boxes and started tossing out bags of chips to everyone. I felt like a little refugee kid getting food from UNICEF. After he'd tossed about half the chips off of the trailer the Stake President said with chagrin “say a prayer in your heart.” That was lunch.

We didn't care about the lack of formality. We were just happy to have food. We started feeling better and turned back into our usual rowdy selves. One of the Stake President's councilors got up while we were eating. He started giving instructions, but no one was paying attention. He said, “How come you are right in front of me and you can't even hear what I'm – Wait, You're the fifth ward aren't you?” We all laughed and said yes. Then we quieted down and listened while he told us that we would take turns getting driven down to Castle Dale. As planned we were spending the night in the city park. There was a pool across the street and we could all take showers and go swimming if we wanted.

It took a while, but soon we were all in the city and showering. The shower area was pandemonium. The pool area wasn't much better. Most of the leaders were busy shuttling kids out of the canyon. I took a shower and then decided I didn't want to swim. I went over the the park and met up with my friend Autumn. She lived in Ephraim and we'd previously talked about her coming to Castle Dale for the pageant. She was there with some of her friends and they helped me get my family's tents set up. Meanwhile the shower area was completely trashed by all the people using it. I don't think it was intentional. Part of the problem was the fact that everyone was changing from pioneer clothes into their regular clothes. As they gathered up their pioneer clothes they wouldn't think, “okay I have my dress, my apron, and my bloomers.” They'd just think, “okay I think I have everything,” and then accidentally leave something behind. It also didn't help that there were hardly any leaders keeping an eye on things. As it was, my stake was asked never to return to the city pool in Castle Dale.

The High Council made dinner for everyone. It was so nice not to have to worry about cooking for my family. Then we drove up into the foothills for the Castle Valley Pageant. My ward's bishop had driven my mom and dad's 15 passenger van down to Castle Dale so most of my ward rode with him. My friend Joel sat with me. He'd been on the trek the whole time, but he'd been in a functioning family so I hadn't seen much of him until this night.

We watched the pageant. It is one of my favorite pageants so seeing it helped redeem the trek. Then we went back to the park. No one was really interested in going to bed so there was a sort of informal party going on in the park's pavilion. Gradually people started drifting off to bed. One of my “daughters” who was actually older than me, told me that her real mom had given her permission to sleep in her car. I told her okay and whatever. I didn't really care anymore. A few minutes later that girl's real mom who was a Grandma for another family started going around to all the Ma's and Pa's and telling us that we needed to tell our kids to go to sleep in their own tents. This was the last straw for me. I let into that woman and yelled at her. I asked her why she thought any of us had any ability to tell anyone what to do anymore. I asked her why she would give her own daughter permission to sleep in the car and then expect everyone else to sleep in their assigned tents. She didn't really have an answer for me and walked off in a huff. I decided it was time for me to go to bed before the Stake President heard about my little outburst and so I hurried and went to bed.

I was one of the few who actually did sleep in their own tents that night. The informal party continued long into the night. My sister Lindsey and my friend Brittany later told me great stories about burying a jelly jar, and throwing a pie pan in the road. Around 2 in the morning the Stake President came over to their little group and told them to be a little quieter. Around 4 it started to rain and most people headed to bed. I heard a group of girls come into my tent, but not all of them were from my family. It didn't matter, the ordeal was almost over.

The next day we were served a continental breakfast. Then we had a testimony meeting. After that we cleaned up and went home. Somehow we had all survived.

The hardest thing for me to do out of everything that was asked of me in connection with this trek was to talk about it in Sacrament Meeting. I knew there was no way I could talk about it in a positive way. I also knew I couldn't get up and read a catalog of what went wrong and who was responsible. I rewrote my talk many times. In the end I talked about how hard it must have been for the pioneers to leave their homes with only a vague idea of where they were going. I talked about how I had a new appreciation for their faith.

It took me a long time to get over the trek. Even now I put off writing about it for a long time because I just didn't know how to convey some of the things I felt. Looking back at it I see that I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can handle a lot of physical changes, but I'll fall apart if things are unorganized.

Despite all the challenges there were some good things that came out of the trek. David and Willis were little angels for me the whole time. When we got home David's mom was surprised when I told her I didn't know how I would have survived without their constant help. She still talks about it. Brad and I are still friends and he still calls me Ma whenever I see him. He married Elizabeth W and have a baby boy so I guess I'm a Grandma. Most of the other youth in my ward remained very close too. We all enjoy catching up at weddings, baby showers, and other events. So in that way maybe the trek was worth it.

I have to add that I did get a little bit of revenge. Three years later my Stake was attending Youth Conference at Snow College. I was the host in charge of them. They showed up for dinner 15 minutes early. The cafeteria was still full with the group that was scheduled to eat so I couldn't let my stake in yet. As everyone waited I looked around at the group. A lot of the leaders were the same ones that had been on the trek. I thought to myself, "I spent 3 days lost with you on a mountain. You can wait 15 minutes to eat." 

Third Year of Youth Conference – Mini Mission

A few weeks after my second year of Youth Conference my Young Woman's President asked if I would come with her to the Stake Youth Committee meeting. Whoever usually went to that meeting from my ward wouldn't be able to make it that day. I went with that week. The next time the committee met (I think it was monthly) I was asked to go again. Soon I was the official representative from my ward.

Each ward sent a youth representative from the young women, another youth rep from the young men, and a member of the either the young men or young women's presidency to the committee. My stake had five wards, the 4^th, 5^th, 10^th, 16^th, and Saniatu, so if everyone came there would have been 15 people. Brother W from the Stake Presidency attended. We must have also had member of the High Counsel attending, but I don't remember who that was.

The committee spent a lot of time talking about things, but not a lot of time doing much. When I first started attending it seemed that the adults would talk about what to do, make a decision, and then ask the youth reps if we agreed with the decision. Later they got better at giving us reps a chance to discuss things. They also started letting us conduct the meeting. Stake Youth committee was the first committee meeting I ever conducted. I was nervous, but I liked it.

The biggest thing we planned was Youth Conference. I think we started planning it in January. The year before Youth Conference was held at Utah State University in Logan. That had been an “Away Year.” This would be a “Home Year.” We were told to think of ideas for what to do and then bring them to the next committee meeting. I went home and thought of a few things that could be fun. My favorite was a trip downtown. I thought it would be fun to hike Ensign Peak, tour temple square, go to the top of the Church Office Building, see the Beehive House, and do other things in the Downtown area.

But my idea wasn't even really considered. One of the girls from the Saniatu ward came to the meeting with her idea all typed up. I think she even had copies of her plan for us all to look at while she talked. She had enough activities planned to cover all three days of Youth Conference. The leaders were thrilled that they didn't have to come up with any of the ideas. Her plan was picked. She'd planned out a Mini-Mission experience. Over the next few months the committee would hammer out the details and put together a weekend full of things that missionaries do.

A few weeks before Youth Conference we handed out the mission calls to everyone who was old enough to attend. The mission calls were just letters that outlined what we would be doing during Youth Conference.

Youth Conference officially started on Friday night. We wanted it to start off like the MTC. Everyone met in our stake center's west chapel. We watched the movie Called to Serve. Then we had the mission president for the Salt Lake West Mission come and speak to us about missionary work. His wife also spoke. I don't remember everything his wife said, but I will never forget what she did. She mentioned that just that morning she had met a very nice man with a very strong testimony. She said that she had brought him with to our meeting. Then she asked him to come up to the pulpit and bear his testimony. He came up and started speaking. It started out okay with him giving a regular testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. But then it got a little strange. He told us that he knew for a fact that the second coming was going to happen in 40 years. Everyone in attendance learned an important lesson on why all fireside speakers need to be approved by the Stake President. We squirmed with awkwardness until he finally finished.

We had refreshments after the fireside and then everyone went to their own homes for the night. The next day we met at the Stake Property by the 10^th and 16^th ward building. We were given our T-Shirts. The shirts were bright orange. To save time and headaches the leaders hadn't bothered to find out any one's size. They just ordered about 150 extra large t-shirts. Everyone had to figure out how to modify their shirts to fit. My friend Roxy was so skinny and short that the shirt looked like a dress on her.

I was in charge of planning the activity that we did Saturday morning. It was a Service Scavenger Hunt. Each ward had submitted a list of yard work that needed to be done in their ward. On the day of the activity I had to get up in front of everyone and explain what to do. I was so nervous to stand up and get everyone organized. I remember telling myself, “well this is something you need to do. So do it.” I jumped up on top of a picnic bench and got every one's attention. To my surprise I actually enjoyed it. Somehow I divided the participants into groups and assigned them a service project. Then the groups had to find the tools to complete the project and then go do it. I was with a group that basically chopped down 10 trees in a widow's front and side yard. We spent the whole two hours trimming the trees and making the yard look better. Another group weeded another widows garden. My mom was in that group and she said it was fun to sit, and weed, and talk. A third group pulled weeds along a road. Because they were wearing their orange t-shirts they looked like a youth detention group.

After doing service we all met back at the Stake Property. We must have had some sort of lunch. Then it was time for missionary training. Several people from the branch were asked to talk about the culture of their mission. My dad did a presentation about Brazil. Someone else talked about Japan. I think there was a third presentation but I don't remember which country it was about.

After that we probably went home, had dinner, and got ready for a dance. I don't remember if we had a dance but I can't imagine having youth conference without one.

On Sunday we all went to our own wards for church. Then we met for a fireside and testimony meeting. I don't remember what that was about either. It's interesting that what I remember most about this year of Youth Conference was planning it. The moment that I stood up in front of everyone and explained the Scavenger Hunt my life changed. I didn't know it at the time, but within a few years I would direct Youth Conference groups for two whole summers.

Second Year of Youth Conference – Utah State University

In 2007 I worked for USU's Conference Services as a Youth Conference Counselor. I'd previously worked as a counselor at Snow College and I thought USU would be just as fun. I was wrong. I was miserable and I quit after two weeks. I should have known better than to apply for the job at all. Seven years earlier I didn't enjoy Youth Conference at USU as a participant.

At the beginning of the weekend it seemed we couldn't get to USU fast enough. All the participants from the stake met in the parking lot of the Stake Center. We waited there for a while and then we were able to load all our luggage onto the charter buses. Just when we were all ready to get on the buses ourselves someone decided that we all needed to go into the chapel for a few minutes. There was a lot of grumbling about this because 1. this could have been done while we waiting for the buses and 2. some of the adult female leaders didn't feel comfortable going into the chapel with pants on. Eventually we all were seated in the chapel and we had a short prayer. Then we could go get on the buses. As we left the chapel we were each handed a ribbon - or a sticker- I can't remember which. The color of the ribbon/sticker designated what group we would be in when we got to USU.

Once we got going the drive to Logan was slow. The buses had a hard time climbing the hill above Brigham City and navigating in Sardine Canyon. I remember thinking that Sardine canyon was very pretty.

I think we arrived late to Utah State University. We drove into the parking lot near the student building. It seems like we went straight from the buses to the Quad area on campus. We must have taken our stuff to our rooms at this point, but I don't remember. Maybe we were so late that we did that after the Quad. Our rooms weren't in a dorm they were in a hotel. At the time I didn't think anything of it, but years later I was very confused. How on earth did we stay at a hotel at a university? It wasn't until I took a tour of USU as a prospective student that I found out there is, in fact, a hotel called the University Inn on campus.

Once we made it to the Quad we were divided into 4 groups and the counselors taught us some games. They were really lame games. One involved throwing rubber chickens around. Seven years later when I was a counselor we sat in a circle and tried to come up with some games that the participants could play. I swear one of our prop options was a rubber chicken.

The one bright spot of the activities on the Quad was a climbing wall. I was excited to climb it because I had had so much fun on the ropes courses at OEFY. However, I was wearing sandals so I was told I couldn't climb the wall. No one had bothered to tell us that we would need close-toed shoes. Undaunted I went and found my dad. He has roughly the same shoe size as me and he was wearing tennis shoes. He let me borrow his shoes for a few minutes so I could climb the wall.

At one point I needed to use the bathroom. So did some other people from my ward. One of our leaders had a map to the building that had bathrooms we could use. (I don't remember which one, or why we couldn't just use the bathrooms in the buildings that surround the Quad.) It seems like we wandered around for several minutes while our leader tried to read the map. I finally took over, and found the correct building.

For lunch we had pizza served to us on the Quad. I remember sitting on some stone benches and eating pizza with my Dad. He pointed to the top of the Old Main building and told me there used to be an antenna or something for KSL up there. He told me about going to see it with his dad years ago. When I was a student at USU I would pass those stone benches and picture me and my dad sitting on them.

I can't remember if this happened on Friday or Saturday so I'll tell it here. We went inside Old Main for some workshops. We were divided into two groups. Each group was supposed to hear from one of the Kearns high seminary teachers, but only Brother M could make it. To cover the other teacher's spot the stake quickly put together a "Bishops Panel." Everyone wrote down questions that they wanted answered and the bishops took turns answering.

In the evening we all boarded the buses again and rode to Clarkston, Utah to see the Martin Harris Pageant. This was not the first time I'd seen the pageant. If you don't mind I'm going to do a quick segway and talk about the first time I saw the pageant.

A year or two earlier the youth in my ward went to see the pageant. Our leaders drove us up to Clarkston. I rode with Lessie K. When we got to Clarkston we went to the stake center there. There is a large recreation area next to the stake center and we were able to camp on it. We set up tents for the boys and girls and then went to eat. The Clarkston Stake provides a baked potato dinner so that is what we ate. After eating we played on a play ground that is also on the stake property. The play ground had one of those old merry go round type spinning things and we all got really sick by playing on it. Then we drove to the site of the pageant. It is an amphitheater built next the the cemetery. The cemetery is where Martin Harris is buried.

The pageant is about the first vision and other events that happened in and around Palmyra, New York. It centers around Martin Harris' interactions with Joseph Smith. His role as scribe, losing the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon, and becoming one of the 3 witnesses who saw the Golden Plates that the Book of Mormon was translated from. The pageant does a very good job portraying the events. However, in my opinion it is very very boring. The story of the first vision and the restoration of the church has been portrayed in film so often that to me it wasn't very cool to see it in a play form. The pageant feels way too long. And trust me, the benches are metal so after a while you really do feel it. I've often said that if I ever went again I would take the first volume of the Work and the Glory series (which covers the same time period) and read it during the play. I suspect I would be done with the book before the play was over.

On the trip with my ward we watched the pageant and then went back to the Stake Property. We read scriptures as a group and then went to bed. The next morning we made breakfast and then drove home.

On the trip with my stake we visited Martin Harris' grave, watched the pageant and then rode back to Logan. The ride back was really fun. Jeffrey A had brought his guitar on the bus. He played songs and sang. We all sang along.

When we got back to our hotel on campus we were supposed to sleep. But I don't remember much sleeping. The boys were on the floor above us and several of them were yelling out the window to some of the girls in my room. I think the leaders finally had to intervene to get us to be quiet and go to sleep.

Breakfast was served on the patio of the student center. There is a huge water fountain next to the student center. For some reason it was turned off so that is where a bunch of us sat during breakfast. I have no memory of what happened after breakfast. Maybe that is when we had the workshops, maybe we had a testimony meeting, maybe we just went home. I don't remember what we did when we got home either. We might have had a dance that night and we could have had a testimony meeting on Sunday. I don't know for sure.

Several months after youth conference I was asked what I thought of it. I said it had been okay, but there wasn't one thing we did up at Utah State University - aside from the boring pageant- that we couldn't have done on our own in Kearns. I still stand by that.

First year of Youth Conference – Samoa

My first year of Youth Conference was held in Samoa. Okay not the real Samoa – it was a Samoa recreated in Kearns. We did a lot of authentic things because there was a Samoan ward in my stake.

The weekend started out with the plane ride to Samoa on Friday night. Prior to the beginning of the weekend all the participants were issued tickets to fly on “Lost Sheep Airlines.” (The theme was something about finding lost sheep.) The overflow room of the chapel was turned into an airplane cabin. Somehow the people in charge had rigged up a curved ceiling using PVC pipe and painting drop cloths. They set up chairs in rows of three seats with an aisle down the middle. I think there were even Christmas lights set up on the floor to illuminate the aisle. Johnny Lingo was the in-flight movie.

After we arrived at Samoa we went swimming at the Kearns Rec Center which had recently added a new outdoor swimming area. I remember watching a lot of the older teenagers in my ward jump off the high dive. I could barely swim so I didn't even dare go off the low dive.

All the participants slept at their own houses for the night. On Saturday morning we met at the stake recreation property by the 10th/16^th ward building. We had a continental breakfast like a hotel would have served.

During the day we did lots of things that we would have done as tourists in Samoa. We were given lava lavas to wear as skirts. We also wore lays and put flowers in our hair. The Samoan girls taught us white girls how to do a traditional dance similar to the hula. The boys learned how to Slap Dance. It was really funny to watch the scrawny white guys learn the dance that required slapping, stomping, and yelling.

I don't remember what we had for lunch but I'm sure it was a lot of authentic Samoan food. I'm pretty certain they served Cocoa Rice. I'd first experienced Cocoa Rice at a Stake 4^th of July breakfast when I was about 9 years old. At that breakfast I loaded up my plate with traditional foods such as pancakes, bacon, eggs, and sausage. Then I came to the ladies serving rice in a brown sauce. When they told me it was called cocoa rice I thought, “all right! Chocolate rice!” Instead of the sweet dessert I was expecting I was treated to the most bitter food I have ever eaten.

In the evening my stake hosted the monthly regional dance. I was one of the people that helped decorate the cultural hall with flowers. I remember dancing with a really tall guy from another stake. He was surprised to find out that I was only 14. This was probably my favorite region dance that whole year. I usually didn't enjoy region dances because I didn't know anyone. My stake was in a different region than most of the stakes with kids that went to my Jr high. I'd go to the dances and not participate because I didn't know anyone. In later years all the Kearns stakes would combine for dances and I was actually be with people I knew. Also my stake was dissolved and my ward ended up in a stake that more of my Jr high and high school friends were in. With these changes I enjoyed region dances in High School.

On Sunday we all went to our own wards for church. All the girls in my ward wore their lava-lavas. That evening we gathered in the overflow room/airplane cabin for the trip home from Samoa. My dad was supposed to meet me there. He'd been participating in Youth Conference because he was the bishop. I had his lava-lava for him, but he never showed up. I didn't worry too much about it – I figured he was busy with some last minute bishop stuff.

The plane “took off” and we started watching another in-flight movie. After a few minutes the power flickered and the TV turned off. Then the room went completely dark. Someone came into the plane and told us that the plane had crashed and we were all dead. The person had us follow him to a small dimly lit classroom in another part of the church. We were told that this represented the Telestial Kingdom (click on this link for a description of the LDS church's views of life after death.). A man came in a spoke to us about his life. He said that he had been a murderer and wished that he had lived a more righteous life.

After this slightly horrifying room we were led into the Primary room. This room was more brightly lit. We were told this represented the Terrestrial Kingdom. A man and his wife talked to us about their lives and how they thought they had lived good lives, but they hadn't done enough to achieve the highest kingdom.

I could see where this was going so I was not surprised when we were lead into the chapel. I knew it would represent the Celestial Kingdom. However, I was very surprised when we entered the room. My whole family was there dressed in white. My mom was in her temple dress and my dad was in his temple suit. My sisters and brother were in white outfits that someone in the stake had let them borrow. There were other families there as well. The room was filled with people in white. It looked like heaven.

I was happy to see my family, but I was “too cool” to sit with them. I stayed with the girls in my ward. We all sat down and someone talked to us about the Celestial Kingdom. Then we had testimony meeting. It seems like everyone in the room bore their testimony. I bore mine too.

At the time I don't think I fully appreciated all the thought that went into this Youth Conference. In later years I helped plan several of the stake's youth conferences. In college I worked as a Youth Conference Counselor. I now know how much effort goes into creating a meaningful and fun experience for teenagers. My first year was very successful in that it was fun, memorable, and most importantly it helped me feel the spirit.