Spilling the beans: Part 2

Okay, so I've been keeping two secrets about Brandon from the bloggy world lately.  And this second one is huge- life changing huge.  As of Wednesday morning Brandon has joined the military.

I'll allow some time for you to take that in . . . .





Since this is coming out of the blue for many of you I thought I'd answer a couple questions that you are sure to have.  If you have a question that I don't answer please leave a comment and I'll do a follow up post.  And if you have comments that aren't questions PLEASE keep them positive and encouraging.  He's already signed up so its futile to talk us out of this decision.

Q: Why is he joining?
A: He wants a career and not a job.  The military is the best option for him to do that.  Unfortunately, the USU flight school was not able to provide him with the training he needed to become a commercial pilot. Double unfortunately, the USU flight school made a LOT of money from student loans that Brandon took out while trying to become a pilot.  These student loans make it basically impossible for Brandon to go back to school for training in any career field.  The military will give him training, pay him for it (what a novel idea), and they will also help pay off a large portion of the student loan debt.

Q: What branch of the Military is he joining?
A: The Army.  He's too old for the Air Force. He has too many dependents to be in the Navy. And we didn't even consider the Marines (I think he's too old for that anyway).

Q: Will he be a pilot?
A: No, there aren't many opening for pilots in the army right now.  Brandon is interested in so many different things this really isn't a huge set back.  He's happy anywhere he can use his brain and his hands.

Q: But can't he become a pilot as a civilian?
A: Well technically yes, but we've already thrown a lot of money down that black hole.  It would only be a couple thousand dollars more for him to get commercially rated.  But that doesn't mean he can start flying 747's for Delta.  All it means is he can get paid to fly people around in little airplanes.  So he'd probably have to get a Flight Instructor Rating (two to be exact) so he could earn hours while teaching people to fly.  This route would be great if he didn't have a family and ginormous student loans.  Even if he was somehow able to get the 1000 to 1500 hours needed to apply to be an airline pilot he still wouldn't start out flying 747's for Delta.  Instead he'd start flying regional jets for a small airline.  And guess how much that pays?  Pretty diddly at first.

Q: So what will he be?
A: After extensive testing, reviewing of his academic record, and discussions with army personnel he's decided to become a Green Beret. (And I thought having twins was going to be the biggest surprise of my life.)  Click here to learn more and get overwhelmed.  Actually, when he asked me if I would support him as  a Green Beret I thought it made perfect sense.  He's always wanted to test his survival skills, go sky diving, be MacGyver, be an expert in a difficult field, and do all sorts of other extreme things.  Now he can live those dreams.

Q: It sounds like money is a big factor in this decision.  Valerie, why don't you just get a job?
A: I have nothing against mothers who work, I just don't feel it is something I should do.  I would rather have Brandon gone all the time, and me be home for our kids; than have both of us gone and daycare people/grandparents raising our kids.

Q: When will Brandon be leaving?
A: He goes to basic in September.  So that gives us some time to have a baby, and build up lots of family togetherness time during the summer.

Q: Um, what happened to being the Elder's Quorum President?
A: Brandon doesn't leave for basic for 6 months.  In our Branch that's like staying around for 2 or so years. (We've lived there a little over 18 months and he's the 4th Elder's Quorum president we've seen.)

Q: How do you feel about this, Valerie?
A: I'm all for it!  Seriously!  Yeah it will be tough to have Brandon gone.  But watching mediocre jobs slowly suck his soul is also tough.  When he and I started getting serious he told me that as a pilot he would be gone for several days in a row, miss birthdays and holidays, and work really random schedules.  I agreed to that life style.  For the past 5 years I've been blessed to have him home every night, but I've always known it could change.

All last year we were hoping he would get a job with the FAA.  If that had happened he would have been sent to training in Oklahoma for about 3 months.  I was okay with that.  So changing the FAA to the military isn't a huge deal. Granted it's a longer time frame, but again I can deal with that.

And as I said a few posts ago, I'm in no hurry to settle down and buy a house.  I'm actually looking forward to moving a lot as a military wife.  My very best friend, Ashley, lives in Korea with her Army husband - how cool is that?  And the Army moves all your stuff for you.  So that takes a lot of the hassle out of the prospect.

And to be perfectly honest I'M JEALOUS.  Yeah that's right, jealous.  Come on, he gets to learn how to sky dive and do wilderness survival as well as other cool stuff.  I want to do that.  I wouldn't want it to be my career, but I would love to do it once or twice.  

Q: What are you going to do with two toddlers and a baby while Brandon is away at basic training?
A: What I always do - figure it out as I go along.  This is one reason we moved from upstairs to downstairs.  It will be so much easier to take care of them all without worrying about stairs.  I also plan on continuing to use the "asking for help" skills that I have developed during this pregnancy.

Q: But wouldn't it be easier to move in with one of your parents?
A: Ha Ha, very funny.  I love my parents and I love my in-laws, and I want to keep loving them.  Besides Brandon's parents are in a tiny apartment of their own while they work on building their dream house.  To be fair, I did consider moving in with my parents, but then I realized that I would probably have more help if I stayed in my branch.  Not only will I have the help of my awesome neighbors, but I will also have the wonderful Sr Missionaries.  I've lived here for over a year and a half.  I love these people and I know that they love me, and will help watch out for me.  If I was in my parent's ward not many people would know me.  I would be just another grown child who moved back in with their parents.

Q: If this is so great for you guys why didn't you do it before?
A: Well to be honest, Brandon has a family member (who will remain unnamed) who has always been very against joining the military.  That's the main reason.  But that person supports our decision now.  And for whatever reason it seems now is the right time to do this.  I'm just going to chalk it up to life proceeding according to Heavenly Father's plan, and not question it too much.

Well, that's all the questions I can anticipate.  Go ahead and leave any others in the comment section.  The second half of this post is a recap of our thought process in making this decision.  By the way, this is the biggest decision we have ever made.  We didn't put this much thought into deciding to get married, buy the jeep, any of our four moves, or to have kids COMBINED.

January 4th - Terrible, dark day in Illguth family history.  We find out that Brandon is not qualified for a position with the FAA because he lacks Navigational Aids training.  This would have been nice to know before we spent the past 9 months applying and hoping for various FAA positions.  (My nine year old cousin put it best when she said, "Why didn't they list that in the requirements?"  Yeah, my point exactly.)

January 7th - Nicky, one of my high school buddies, facebooks me and suggests looking into the military.  She even went to the trouble of researching the age requirements and such for the various military branches.  I reply back to let her know that while I appreciate the suggestion we've never considered the military as an option. We've felt that way due to some very strong feelings against the military by [an unnamed member of Brandon's family]. However, Nicky's suggestions get me thinking that maybe the military would be preferable to being paupers in [this unnamed person's] mind.

So I bring up the subject with Brandon.  He has also been thinking about the military as something he should look into.  He mentions that in many of his job interviews he has been asked if he had any military experience.  We decide to look into it.

January 9th - Brandon's first call is to one of his USU professors, Larry (one of the few people in the USU flight department that we actually liked).  Larry learned how to fly in the Air force, was later a commercial airline pilot, and is now a professor. Brandon wanted his opinion of the military. Larry told Brandon lots of stuff but what stuck with Brandon was this comment, "There are a lot of jobs that are harder on families than the military."  That was good to hear.

January 10th - The next call was to Brandon's Dad.  Steve served in the National Guard for about 8 years.  Steve and Brandon had a long talk about the military.  Steve assured Brandon that he would support his decision.

January 12th - Steve drops by after work to give Brandon a father's blessing.  He doesn't mention the military in particular, but he says that Brandon's future would be clear to him.

January 19th - Brandon meets with a Navy recruiter.  (We knew he was too old for the Airforce so we skipped that branch.) It turns out that Brandon has too many dependents to join the navy.  (For some reason I count as a dependent.)  Brandon takes a pre-ASVAB test and scores an 80 which is apparently a big deal.  The recruiter refers him over to the Army.  This same day Brandon has a job interview with a company that his cousin works for.  The interview goes really well.

I also have been doing my own investigations.  I talk to my friend Alison who is married to a pilot.  He was in the Air force during the first few years of their marriage.  Now he is a Commercial Pilot.  She says being a military wife is a lot like being an airline wife.  Your husband is gone a lot, but when he is home, he is HOME.

I also have a Facebook conversation with my very best friend Ashley.  We had to talk through Facebook because she is currently living in Korea where her husband is serving in the Army.  I've known Ashley since I was 9 so her opinion means the most to me.  She tells me that there have been some rough things (like being apart for almost 2 years for several reasons) but that overall she likes it.  One thing that really sticks with me is that her husband now feels like he is contributing something worthwhile at work.

January 20th - Brandon is offered the warehouse job where his cousin works, but he hasn't been able to meet with the Army recruiter yet so he asks for the weekend to think about the job.  We can't believe that a job that we would have been thrilled about just a few weeks ago now seems like a bad idea.  We decide that this way we will always know we had a choice.

January 22nd - Its our Branch Conference.  It seems like everything in sacrament meeting relates to joining the Army.  Our Branch President says that we have to be willing to work hard for the things that we want.  After church Brandon and I decide that we know joining the military is the right decision for our family.

January 23rd - Brandon meets with the Army recruiter.  She says that if he does enlist he won't be gone until August or September.  This makes us happy because it means he will be here when the baby is born and through most of our summer plans.  He calls up the place where his cousin works and accepts the job, because he needs something to do for the next several months.

We had already decided to take Brandon's [unnamed family member] out to dinner to tell [that person] the news first.  So we do that.  Breaking the news went well and we feel like the biggest hurdle is out of the way.

The whole month of February - Brandon gathers medical documents, and fills out various paper work.

March 5th and 6th - Brandon goes through the actual enlistment process of taking tests, having a back ground check, and meeting with the career people.  The highlight of the two day process is when he scores a 94 on the ASVAB test- without studying.

March 7th - Brandon takes the oath of enlistment, and is now considered inactive-duty military personnel.

So yeah, big changes are on their way.