I could not ask for more

This week has been great! We've figured out two things that have made a huge difference.

1. We've figured out how to divide up taking care of the babies at night. Basically it is if one of them is awake then one of us gets up. If both girls are awake then both of us are up.

2. I only nurse one twin a day. Then I pump and feed the other twin with a bottle. I switch who nurses and who bottle feeds every day so they don't get used to one way or the other. This has been wonderful because now I have time to get (some) things done. It's also nice because other people can help feed the girls. Here is Brandon feeding Lydia.

We put our Christmas stuff up. I love decorating for Christmas. It's the highlight of the month for me. (Seriously, I think I like it more than Christmas Day)
I like to set up a new way to display everything every year.
This was my set up this year. I was going for a toy store window display look.
We still need to get stockings for Charlotte and Lydia.
After we set up the tree we always lay under it and look up at the pretty ornaments and lights. We did that this year with the girls. We told them that they were our favorite presents. I think we will probably turn this into an official holiday tradition. Who needs presents when you have family? This is Charlotte under the tree.
Here are the girls in their Christmas sleepers. (Thank you Kira) They wear these sleepers all the time so I had to get a picture of them in them while under the tree.
This is how Brandon spent his day off yesterday. He was sick of the dishwasher not quite cleaning all the dishes. He found the problems (poor craftsmanship and dish soap in the jet dry dispenser) and fixed them.
This is Brandon a few hours ago when I left him to go to the library and blog. What a man!

Life with twins

Here are the girls about 10 minutes after they came home for the first time.

I'll be honest, on the first full day home I thought I had ruined my life by having twins. The first night home had not gone very well. I spent most of the night holding the girls and trying to sleep on the couch. Lydia managed to wet the only two outfits I could find and so she spent half the night wearing just her diaper. The morning didn't change anything. I was practically in tears by the time Brandon got home from work. And within a few hours I was bawling. I felt like I would never have a conversation, thought, or moment that didn't revolve around the girls. I was tired, hormonal, emotionally drained, and suffering from oreo with drawls.

Fortunately these feelings didn't last. Brandon sent me to bed and took care of the girls for the next couple hours. He even got them ready for their doctors appointment. We went to the doctor's and then came home and I was sent back to bed. I was still crying when we went to bed for the night so Brandon gave me a blessing. I felt better after that.

Here are the girls sharing their cradle.

Over the next couple days life slowly began to feel like normal. We were able to clean up the apartment which helped immensely because coming home from the hospital was like returning from an 18 day camping trip - everything was out of place. We started figuring out places for all the baby stuff. I felt like civilization returned to our lives when we established the diaper changing station on top of the drier. (Thanks for the idea Emily) Up until then we had been changing diapers on the couch. We began to have conversations about things other than the girls. I was able to sleep in my own bed for several hours a night. I knew everything was going to be okay the day that Brandon replaced our kitchen faucet. There was something comforting in watching him walk by holding a hack saw - I'm still not sure why he needed the hack saw, but I liked seeing him with it.
After one week home we were on top of things enough to host Thanksgiving dinner for both our parents. This may sound crazy but Brandon relaxes by cooking. He's wanted to host Thanksgiving dinner all year, but it wasn't until Wednesday that we invited everyone. We knew our parents were planning on having low key dinners so we thought we should combine 3 low key dinners into one. Brandon loved making pies and stuffing the turkey. Our parents helped out by bringing some food and also doing the dishes afterward. They also held the babies which is always appreciated.

We've now been home for two weeks. I'm feel like I am getting the hang of things and establishing a system again. I keep telling myself that this may be the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is not the first hard thing I've done.

The girls are eating like crazy and growing. They were weighed at the doctor's yesterday. Charlotte is now 5 lbs and 12 oz. She has just about out grown her preemie clothes. Lydia is now 4 lbs 10 oz which is how much Charlotte weighed at birth. They are both super cute as you can tell from these pictures. I love that they don't have tubes and wires.

They sleep a lot. We are really lucky that they are oblivious to most noise. 18 days in the special care nursery trained them to sleep through beeps, alarms, and loud conversations. They also can sleep through each others cries. Recently they have started sleeping for 4 hours at a time which is very nice. Sometimes all three of us cuddle up on the couch for a nap in the afternoon. I love being close to my girls.
The girls were 4 weeks old on Sunday. We took them to Sacrament meeting. I thought that Charlotte would need to eat during the meeting and I hoped I would at least be able to stay in the chapel until after the sacrament. Instead she slept the whole meeting.
Here are the three of us on Monday November 29th. This is the girls due date. As challenging as this last month has been I'm glad I wasn't pregnant for it. I'm glad I've been able to spend it with my girls.
Brandon's birthday (his real one) was on Tuesday. If you aren't colorblind you can read how old he is. Both of us are older than 3 of our parents were when they first had kids.

So that's basically the last two weeks in a nut shell. This week the girls should move out of the living room and into their own room. We are also going to decorate for Christmas. I can't wait.

We're going HOME

I just spoke with the pediatrician. She says Lydia can be discharged today. It is quite possible that as you read this we are sitting on our own couch watching our own movie on our own TV while eating our own popcorn and holding our own little girls.

This will be the last blog post for a while. I don't have the internet at home and I'll be pretty busy taking care of the twins. I told Brandon I'd like to get out of the apartment and go to the library to blog at least once a week. We'll see how that works out.

I'd like to thank all of you who have read along during these last 18 days. There are a lot of you. This blog has averaged over 100 page views a day during November. Knowing that you all are out there and interested in what I write helped me enjoy my time here.

I'd also like to thank those of you who visited. Thank you for stopping by. Every visit was the highlight of my day. Please don't stop visiting just because we are out of the hospital.

A special thanks goes to the staff of the Special Care Nursery at LDS hospital. Your dedication to our girls has been wonderful. Thank you for all the care you gave to them and us.

There are so many things I want to say right now, but I'm afraid I don't have the words to express my feelings. I keep thinking of the end of one of my favorite movies, Apollo 13. Somehow Jim Lovell's final words in that movie seem appropriate.

"I sometimes catch myself looking up at the Moon, remembering the changes of fortune in our long voyage, thinking of the thousands of people who worked to bring the three of us home."

I know that I too will remember the changes in fortune during our stay at the hospital, and I'll think often about the many people who worked and prayed to let the four of us go home.

Thanks for reading! This is only the beginning . . .

Full Circle

Today is our three and a half year wedding anniversary. I had been hoping to give birth to the girls today. Instead Charlotte was discharged this morning!!! She is now all mine. Now we are hanging out in my room and waiting for Lydia. If all goes well Lydia should be discharged tomorrow. Here is Lydia. It breaks my heart wheel out Charlotte's bed and leave Lydia all alone in her room. Thankfully she doesn't cry. Instead she just lays in her bed and looks around.

Rooming in with Charlotte last night was an adventure! She had trouble sleeping. I would nurse her, but she didn't eat as much as she normally does. Then when I would try to put her back in her bed she would act hungry. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. I thought maybe she was getting too used to being bottle fed. Around 4:00 am I fed her with a bottle and she drank 70 ccs (that's a lot) and then fell asleep. So then I really started thinking that she was too used to bottles. I had visions of needing to pump all my milk and then feed her through the bottle. I wasn't too happy about that idea.

This morning I decided to try to feed Charlotte while we were in Lydia's room. I talked to the nurse about what could be affecting Charlotte's nursing. The nurse didn't think it was the bottles because I nurse with a nipple shield that is very similar to a bottle. Neither of us could figure out the problem until I sat down to nurse with Charlotte. I immediately knew what had caused the problem last night. I was using a different nursing pillow.

The nursing pillow I use in the nursery is a brand called "My Brest friend." It has a flat surface. The pillow I used in my room is just a regular "boppy" brand. It has more of a curved surface. Charlotte and I are much more used to the flat surface. With the flat surface Charlotte nursed for 15 minutes and fell right asleep.

I'm glad I figured this out because I just barely ordered the "My Brest Friend Twin Plus Deluxe" nursing pillow on Amazon. I was wondering if I really needed it as bad as I thought I did. Well now I know that I absolutely need it.

I've now come full circle in one aspect of my life. Back on May 13th when went to the doctor's for my 10 week ultrasound I saw a magazine advertisement for the twin nursing pillow. I thought to myself, "well I won't need that." 15 minutes later I found out I was pregnant with twins. 6 months later I bought the nursing pillow.

Charlotte hung out with me and Brandon this evening. She watched The Simpsons with us.

Here I am with both my girls. The nurses asked us if we wanted Lydia to room in with us tonight. Unfortunately they asked right as we were going to bed for the night. It would have been fun to have them together, but not while we were trying to sleep. We'll save the fun for tomorrow when we are in our own home.

Charlotte is almost free!

Last night I had a dream that I was doing a training session at my old job. I used to do training every couple months about how to avoid the various problems I found while auditing. Well in my dream last night I was training everyone on how to properly change diapers. Feel free to interpret that how ever you like. :)

Charlotte will be discharged as a patient tomorrow. In preparation for that she is able to do what's called "rooming in" with me and Brandon. That means she was taken off of all her monitors and able to come to our little room. The nurses periodically check on her, but she's basically been mine all day!

It's been an adjustment to figure out all the particulars of being with a baby so much. As you can see from the above picture it took me a bit longer than usual to get ready for the day. Overall though I am so happy to have her with me. I'm also glad she doesn't have any wires. I think she is happy to be with me. She's taking advantage of the situation and eating just about every hour.

Lydia should be discharged in a day or two and then we can all go home! I'm glad this will soon be over because it is getting complicated having one baby in my room and one in the nursery. If you notice I don't have any pictures of Lydia today. That's because I've hardly had time to spend with her in the nursery since taking Charlotte back to my room. For example, I'd just barely started nursing Charlotte when the nursery called and said Lydia was awake and hungry. Brandon went down and bottle fed Lydia so she could feel like she has parents. This will be easier when we are all in our apartment together.

Help and Preparation

Today was Brandon's day off from work. Our girls should be coming home soon so we took advantage of the fact that we can leave them with the nurses. We spent a lot of the day running errands. Tonight we went out to eat at Burger King. We've both been craving fries. We weren't disappointed.

Here I am with Charlotte. She might be released from the hospital as early as tomorrow, but it might not happen until Wednesday.

And here is Lydia. You can see that she doesn't have her NG tube on her face any more. Last night I "forgot" to wrap her hands up in her blankets. Instead I left them out. She is taking all her feedings by mouth now so I knew that if she pulled her tube out the nurse wouldn't put it back. Sure enough when I checked on her an hour later she had pulled her tube for the 6th and last time. Good girl!
Here is our little family. I'm so glad the girls are in the same room now. We spent about an hour with them tonight. It was nice to just hold them. I'm looking forward to chilling out with our girls at home while watching a movie.
Those are the only pictures we have today. So those of you who just like the pics can move on. Those of you who read this blog can stay. :)

Today's post is about the things that have helped me make it through this stay in the hospital. To me the past two weeks have been a crazy-fun adventure. Something that will be a cool story to tell later. However, this adventure could easily have been a nightmare if I didn't have help and preparation.

A great deal of help came from my Heavenly Father. I rarely get all mushy about faith and religion in this blog, but I'm making an exception today. I'd like to share a scripture that Brandon and I read last week in the Book of Mormon. It is Mosiah 24:14-15:

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that you may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, to visit my people in their afflictions.

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."

When I read this scripture last week I thought back over all the things that had happened to us since the babies were born. There were some pretty scary things - Charlotte's collapsed lung, the possibility of Charlotte going to another hospital, the fact the babies were going to be in the hospital for so long, etc. But I didn't worry too much about these things at the time they happened. I just had a sense that everything would work out. And everything did work out. Looking back I could see that Brandon and I had been strengthened by the Lord to bear our burdens with ease. In fact we couldn't even tell they were burdens.

The other thing that helped me with this hospital stay was the preparation I received for it. There were many people in my life who shared things from their lives that prepared me for what was about to happen. Here is a list. I've tried to acknowledge as many people as possible, but this list is by no means comprehensive. So don't feel bad if you are left off.

The first person is my friend Lina. Lina blogged about the three weeks her newborn daughter spent at the hospital learning how to take all her feedings through her mouth. At the time Lina wrote her blog I wasn't even pregnant yet, but I followed her story closely. It was the first time I found out that premature newborns have to stay in the hospital if they have difficulty eating. Later when my own girls were born early I was prepared for what to expect in regard to feeding them. I even re-read Lina's blog with my mom so we could get an idea of what feelings to expect.

The next person is my friend Melissa. Melissa's daughter spent about a week in the NICU. The ultrasound that revealed I was still pregnant with twins also showed that Baby B (Lydia) was very small. I figured that she would most likely end up in the NICU for some amount of time even if she was born full term. I asked Melissa what to expect. Melissa had a very positive attitude about the whole thing. She told me about the fact that there would be IV's and tubes and wires, but she didn't make them sound scary. Now I ask her for advise about what to do when I bring my babies home.

My aunt Cheryl is another person that prepared me. She had a calm attitude about her three C-sections. (She has a calm attitude about everything.) I knew that with twins there was a high chance of having a C-section. I'd mostly heard horror stories about emergency C-sections and so I was a little scared of the prospect. After talking to Cheryl about her experiences with her C-sections I felt very comfortable with the idea. My own C-section went very well, and I have no regrets. (except that I drank orange juice a few hours earlier)

My sisters Lindsey and Emily set great examples for me. Both of them had baby boys while they were in college. Lindsey graduated in April and Emily will graduate this coming April. I have no idea how they juggled everything. I often thing about them when I contemplate how busy my life will be with twins. I tell myself I should be grateful that I have already graduated.

My friend Lindsay influenced me in a tragic way. Her son died of SIDS recently. I've been following her blog and she has reminded me to enjoy every second I can with my little girls.

My mother-in-law, Jacque, had twins of her own. So of course she is a gold mine of information. I often ask her logistical questions like, did you have one crib or two? Answer: one crib for the first six months.

My Mom set an example by breastfeeding all five of her children. Since I'm the oldest I remember her nursing my younger brother and sisters. I've known all along that I want to breastfeed my girls. So far it is working out.

My Dad helped prepare me for something that could have been very scary to see. My Dad has a C-Pap machine that helps him breath at night. I've become adjusted to seeing his machine and the mask that goes with it. The very first time I saw Lydia she was wearing a C-Pap mask. Because of my Dad I knew a C-Pap wasn't as scary as it looked. I was able to ignore the mask and look at my little girl.

And finally I have to mention my greatest example and helper, Brandon. He has been in the hospital several times in his life starting with when he had a stroke when he was seven. (Odd, I know) He was also in the hospital twice as a teenager for surgery to remove a nasal tumor. (Yeah, also odd) Because of these hospital stays he had endless empathy for me. He also told me what to expect as far as IV's, catheters, blood clot preventer thingies, and hospital socks went. I'm so glad he was with me.

All this shows that you never know when you might influence somebody. Thanks for helping and preparing me. I hate to imagine what the past two weeks would have been like if I'd had to go through them alone and unprepared.

What a difference two weeks make

The babies are two weeks old today. I can't believe how much they have changed in the past 14 days. Here are some pictures to illustrate the change.

This is Charlotte when she was less than 12 hours old. She had just come off the ventilator and a C-Pap machine was helping her breath. At the time we took this picture we were excited by how well she was doing. Now I look at it in disbelief.

Here is Charlotte today. She is so cute. As you can see she no longer has any tubes on her face. That's right - she is eating all her meals through her mouth. She just has to prove that she can still gain weight, and she will be ready to come home.

Here is Lydia at less than 2 hours old. This is how she looked the first time I held her. The C-Pap was helping her breath as well.

Here is Lydia today. She is also starting to take all her meals by mouth, but she is about a day behind Charlotte. Hopefully she catches up and they can be discharged together. If not, Charlotte will move into our room while we wait for Lydia.

Here I am. I'm 35 weeks and 6 days pregnant in this picture. My water broke about 1/2 an hour before the picture was taken.

And here I am today. I don't fit my pre-pregnancy pants yet, but my maternity pants are hanging off of me. I feel skinny!

Here's Brandon about an hour and a half before my C-section. (The twins were born at 10:39 and 10:40)

And here is Brandon today! I think the video speaks for itself. Enjoy watching it!

Thanks for all the support and prayers that have helped us get through the last two weeks. Hopefully we will be home within the next week.