The Rules

Last Thursday I had a really scary moment.  I couldn't stand up.  I'd sat down to change Derrick's clothes and I was trying to get back up.  But my lower back sent waves of pain through my body every time I tried to get my legs under me.  Derrick wanted me to hold him and was crying hysterically because I kept pushing him away while I tried to get up.  I was almost in tears myself because I was suddenly filled with a lot of worry.  If I couldn't even stand up how was I going to take care of the kids without Brandon for four weeks.  Fortunately, Brandon was home and came to help me as soon as I called out to him.  But that didn't help my apprehension.

I spent the rest of the evening laying on the couch and thinking and thinking and thinking.  Obviously some things needed to change.

I came up with some rules for me to follow while Brandon is away.  I've been adding to the rules through out the week.  So far everything is going really well and my back hasn't given me any more issues.  The rules have helped so much I want to remember them when Brandon gets home.  So I thought I'd write the rules down.  And because some of you might benefit from these rules I thought I'd put them on the blog.      

Don't lift more than you have to - 
This one is kind of a "duh" rule.  But with three toddlers I have to constantly remind myself that I can't pick them up.  If Charlotte and Lydia ask "hold you?"  I respond with let's go over to the couch and I'll hold you there.  I used to be able to stand up while holding onto Derrick, but not so anymore.  I put him down, stand up, and then try to get him to walk with me.  If he doesn't want to walk I'll pick him up, but I try to do most of the lifting with my legs and not my back.  I'm lucky that he likes to walk a lot now because usually he'll just follow me around.      

And when it comes to non kid lifting I'm trying to be extra careful.  Laundry baskets are about the heaviest things I try to lift right now.  I make sure I'm only carrying one around at a time, instead of three precariously balanced baskets.

Pace Yourself -

The girls hardly take naps anymore - which actually is pretty awesome because bedtime is super easy because they are so tired.  The downside is that I don't get "me time" in the middle of the day anymore (except right now because this happens to be one of the random nap days.)  Instead I have to keep the girls entertained all day long.

So I have to make sure I have the energy to make it through the day.  This means even if I wake up with tons of energy in the morning I can't just clean the whole kitchen and do 5 loads of laundry.  (Not that I ever did that anyway)


It's important to pace myself. I can't spend the whole morning on my feet cleaning or whatever.  I will run out of energy too early in the day if I do that.  So I help the kids get breakfast, then I take a break with them on the couch. I get up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, and then take a break on the couch.  I get the kids and me a snack, then take a break on the couch.  You see how this goes.  (As a side note I'm planning a blog post about all the movies and TV shows I've been watching with the kids.)

This works pretty well because somebody usually wants me to hold them about every 20 minutes or so anyway.  I've turned it into a game to see how long I can stay on the couch.  I'll think, "oh I need to go move the laundry into the dryer - no that can wait.  Oh I need to get my phone so I can text Brandon - no that can wait.  Oh Lydia is taking off her diaper - that CAN'T wait."

Sleep when they sleep - 
This is a wonderful rule from the newborn days.  I've found it's pretty applicable now as well.  Yesterday we had a play date with another family.  The kids all played hard and were so worn out they fell asleep in the car.  When I brought them inside and put them down for naps I was tempted to start working on some of my projects.  But I knew that the naps would make the girls stay up until at least 9:00 pm - and I would be the only adult in charge.  So I laid down on the couch and took my own three hour nap.  When the kids woke up I was ready keep up with them.

Clean smarter, not harder -
Last Friday I boxed up over half the kids' toys.  I was sick of all the clutter, and I didn't want to have to deal with making sure that many toys were cleaned up on a daily or even weekly basis.  I made sure to leave out the toys that they actually play with.  They haven't even missed the other ones.  And I'm enjoying a rather clean house.

I'm still keeping the dishes done on a daily basis, but everything else is more on a "when I feel like it" rotation.   The living room is a prime example.  I left it messy on Monday, picked up the trash on the floor on Tuesday, vacuumed on Wednesday (when Lydia discovered fire ants eating some crumbs), and ignored the books strewn about the floor on Thursday and Friday.

Don't clean when the kids are asleep -
It's not worth it to me to clean during the few precious hours I get to myself.  For the most part all the housework can be done while all the kids are awake.  The only exceptions to this rule are mopping the floor and cleaning the bathroom.  Derrick doesn't understand slippery floors yet and bathrooms are too small to effectively clean with toddlers underfoot.

The girls usually like to help me with whatever I'm doing.  Even Derrick will sometimes help put toys in baskets (though he also likes to dump out the baskets two seconds later.)    Today I mopped the floor while Derrick took a nap.  Charlotte and Lydia were playing in another room, but soon they each wanted a turn to push the mop around.

Don't expect perfection -
You all know I've been working on this one for several months.  But I think this week I finally hit my stride.  These are actual things I thought during the past few days:  Who cares if Lydia sleeps in her clothes - or no clothes - at night?  Who cares if we eat butterfly noodles ever other day?  Who cares if we go to a play date with Charlotte still wearing her pajamas?  Who cares if we watch four movies and three tv shows each day?  The important thing is that we are all happy, healthy, and surviving.

Make Friends
I know I may come off as really extroverted on this blog.  There isn't much I wont share.  But in real life I'm an introvert.  I like doing things on my own.  And I'm actually a little shy.  I'm not the type of person to initiate a conversation.  Once I feel comfortable in a situation then I'll open up, but it takes me a little while to get to that level of comfort.

I've spent the last few months slowly making friends at church and in the neighborhood.  It's been a slow process.  And a lot of the friends I have made happen to be moving this summer (gotta love the military life) Well Sunday night I decided I can't do slow anymore.  I opened up facebook and the ward directory and started sending friend requests to people I've talked to at church.  The first one was to a girl whose husband is also in Louisianan this month.  She invite us over for a play date on Thursday and it was great.  I like having friends in real life.  

Well those are my rules. They are still evolving and I'm interested in any suggestions you may have.  What are some things you do to make sure you can get through the day?