Birth-o-Ween

Brandon sent home these pictures with his letter last week.  They kind of sum up how today looked.  I think I have successfully confused the girls as to what is a birthday tradition and what is a Halloween tradition. By the end of the day I was calling it Birth-o-Ween.  I'm sure in 5 months they will wonder why we are having an Easter Egg hunt instead of going Trick or Treating when we celebrate Derrick's birthday.

I wanted to have a simple yet fun birthday for the girls.  So I focused on things I knew they would love.  In addition to Butterflies (Fufferby) and Pumpkins (Pamken) I knew the girls would love balloons.  So last night I had my neighbors Caleb and James come over and blow up three bags of balloons.  

 The balloons were waiting with the presents for when the girls woke up.

 The girls actually both woke up at 4:00 am this morning.  Normally I would have made them go back to sleep, but I thought, "what the heck, it's their birthday!"  And I let them get up.  They had so much fun playing with all the balloons and opening presents.

 They especially loved this fisher price beauty salon.  I found it for $5 at DI. Score! I also gave them a lot of books that I also bought at the DI.  The girls are still a little rough on books and I didn't want to spend a lot of money just to see them disintegrate.  I'm so excited to have new stories to read.   

The girls were back in bed around 6:00 am.  When we all woke up for real around 8:30 we just had a lazy day.  Charlotte was content to stay in her pajamas all day.  Lydia wanted to wear a dress.  At lunch time Charlotte insisted on everyone wearing one of the new head bands that the she got for as a gift.

 Even Derrick was included in this mandate.  Charlotte put this on his head herself.  He must have liked it because  he left it on for a long time.

 I had to be a mean mommy and insist that the girls take naps.  I know, I know, so cruel on their birthday. But I wanted happy girls for trick or treating. (Plus I really needed a shower.)  I took a nap too because I'd been up until 1:00 am working on birthday stuff and then woke up at 4:00 am with the girls.

My brother Billy showed up during naptime (and waited on the porch because I was sleeping so deeply that I didn't hear his phone call). The girls had lots of fun playing with him when they woke up. They all played "kick the balloons."

 I was a little nervous to have Derrick and his sharp fingernails around the balloons.  But amazingly he didn't pop any of them.

 We had one of the girls' favorite meals for dinner - butterfly (farfelli) noodles.  I'm glad they liked such a simple meal because there was no way I could have done anything more elaborate. I think as they get older I'm going to have to serve their birthday dinner the night before Halloween.

 After dinner I put the kids in their costumes and took them over to the trunk or treat that our Branch does on a street near our apartment complex.  In addition to Billy, we were joined by my neighbors Caleb and James, and Bestemor and Bestefar (Brandon's parents).

 The girls were very cute little butterflies for Halloween.  Originally I was going to make everything on their costumes.  But then I got practical.  I bought them shirts and black tights that they can wear again and again. I scored the wings for 60% of at Joanne's, and so I only had to make the skirts.  (I finished them yesterday)

Derrick was going to be a caterpillar to go with the girls butterfly costumes.  But I just didn't have time to make that costume.  Plus he isn't really crawling yet so being a caterpillar didn't make sense.  Conveniently he fit into Lydia's monkey costume from last year. (Yes, Derrick at almost 7 months fits the same costume Lydia wore at 1 year.)

Charlotte took it upon herself to take Derrick's candy bucket around along with her own. She was so good at putting one piece of candy in each bucket.

 Both girls amazed me and would only take one piece of candy - even when a whole bowl of candy was put in front of them.  Once Lydia took two pieces from a bowl by accident, and she put the extra piece back!  Wow!

 I taught the girls to say "trick or treat" it came out "tick a tick."  Oh and Happy Birthday came out "Happy Ta"

 Can you imagine a better birthday for a two year old?

 After we made the rounds I put the girls in the stroller and let them eat as much candy as possible.  I went back through the trunk or treat and talked to my friends.  It was so much more relaxing without worrying if the girls would wander off. (BTW Derrick did not turn into a rabbit.  He was still in his little stroller for this picture. Charlotte had insisted on bringing her birthday rabbit with on the walk over to the trunk or treat.)

 And what was I for Halloween?  Well, Brandon and I always do coordinating costumes.  So I dug out an army costume he had in High school and wore some of that.

It wasn't as authentic as what Brandon wore - but it was better than nothing.  (We got a phone call and this text from Brandon yesterday.)

 Back at home the girls had fun playing with their candy and their new toy at the same time.   

 My parents arrived and we had a little birthday party for the girls.  The girls love hats right now so I made sure we all had party hats. As a bonus the hats had butterflies on them.

 I was right, the hats turned out to be a big hit. I love how such simple things make the girls so happy.

We had ice-cream cake because I didn't want to deal with cooking a cake, waiting for it to cool, and then frosting it.  And I figured no one would want cake on top of candy anyway.

I made individual ice-cream cakes by putting sprinkles in the bottom of a muffin pan and then squishing cookies and cream ice cream into the pan.  I'm probably going to do this every year. 

 The girls loved their cakes.  We sang them "Happy Birthday" and Charlotte said "Happy" all the way through it.  At the end of the song Charlotte blew out her candles on the first try.  Lydia took about four tries.

 Then everyone enjoyed ice-cream cake.  We had a few neighbors drop by for ice cream too.

 The girls loved their "cakes", but after all the candy it was just a little bit too much to handle.  They could only eat about half.

 Derrick had a great time with Bestemor and Bestefar.  They fed him ice cream and he was very happy about that.  (Unlike his sisters this kid will smile for every picture)

 My parents gave the girls new sleepers.  Lydia wanted to get into her's right away. She actually started stripping off her tights as soon as she saw it.

 Charlotte wanted to stay in her pretty dress.

My sister gave the girls Avenger's T-shirts.  Lydia wanted to wear that too.  

 Eventually everyone left.  The girls played around a little bit more.  I discovered that they had a stash of half eaten chocolate candies.  I guess they don't really like chocolate (score for me!)  Soon they started fighting over a box of nerds and it was time for bed.  After all the fun they fell asleep really fast.

It was such a great day!  I'm so glad these girls decided to come into the world two Halloween's ago.  I'm looking forward to many more Birth -o-weens.

Week Eight: Pumpkins and other fun

One of my fun plans for this time without Brandon was to take the kids to Logan.  I've been planning on this trip since even before Brandon left.  Of course I ended up picking the day it snowed to go visit.  

When we left Bountiful it wasn't snowing, but we hit a storm as we headed North.  I was worried about how the snow would effect our plans.  But, thankfully it stopped snowing as we drove and so we were able to go to our first stop at the pumpkin walk in North Logan. 

 The girls loved seeing all the pumpkins.

 Me and Hillary liked looking at all the scenes that people created with pumpkins. This is a Candyland scene.

 This is a scene of a snowball fight. We figured it was pretty appropriate.

  After walking around we retreated to the car to get warm and have lunch.  These car-lunches are getting pretty interesting.

 Then we went to visit my friend Katie.  Katie and I worked together back before we had kids.  Now we have 5 kids between us.  We had fun talking about how we are adjusting to being Stay-at-home moms.

After Katie's we went to visit our friend Laurie and her granddaughter Mikayla.  Mikayla is only a week older than the twins.  The girls loved playing with all of her toys.  

 Next on our jam packed day of visiting we stopped by my cousin Madison's dorm at USU.  It's so funny how some things about college haven't changed.  The girls went nuts and jumped all over Madison's couch.

I liked seeing the New Ag Building.  Brandon graduated from the college of Ag so I'm happy to see they have a nice building. 

 And then we took the traditional alumni picture with the A.  If the weather was nicer and/or the kids were older I would have put them on the A.  But this is the most I felt comfortable doing.

 After Madison's I drove around the town and showed Hillary all the apartments I lived in.  She was a good sport to listen to all my reminiscing.   

Then we stopped by my old work.  I worked there for 2 1/2 years.  I left over two years ago when Brandon graduated.  But sometimes I forget that I quit.  I'd still work there if I lived in Logan and didn't have 3 babies.  I like going back there and seeing how much the company has grown.  When I started there the whole company took up the 3rd floor of an office building.  Now the billing department (my department) takes up the 3rd floor. (I probably said "This is all billing?!?" 20 times.) The other departments have spread to other floors and even another building.  

After looking around at the place I spent 40 hours a week ate I went out to dinner with one of my co-workers.  Melissa and I were kind of exiled together in the corner for several months.  We became very good friends during that time.  

Derrick had a fun time sitting at the table with all of us.  

 After dinner we headed home.  I was so tired.  The girls had fallen asleep on the way home so I put them in bed, put Hillary in charge of Derrick, and went to bed myself at 9:00.

The next day was kind of a let down after all the fun the day before.  I was feeling kind of low and run down.  That's when Brandon's letter showed up.  It was the letter where he called me Supermom.  Reading that letter cheered me right up and encouraged me to keep going.  I love that Brandon can make my day even from the other side of the country.

When the girls woke up from their nap I got out my box of fall leaves and started decorating.  I ended up doing this cool ceiling.  The girls LOVE it.  They point to it and say, "ball, leeeeve, seeling." (By the way, I came up with this all by myself.  No Pintrest needed.)

Thursday I took my kids to my Aunt Cheryl's.  She gave me time to myself, and, after running a few errands, I honestly just went home and cleaned my house for an hour.  It was nice to walk into a clean house when I came home with the kids.

Hillary was back at my house on Friday and she helped me take the kids to Storytime at the library.  It was combined with the pre-schoolers which meant the stories did not hold the girls attention AT ALL.  But we weren't really there for the stories anyway.  We were there for the costume parade.  Here is a little pre-view of what the kids are being for Halloween.

 On Saturday my friend Erin came over to visit.  She made us a yummy dinner and then stayed up crafting with me after the kids went to bed.

 I can't really remember what day this happened, but Derrick's high chair moved off the counter at some point during the week.  His legs are now long enough to reach the counter and I was worried he'd tip himself over.  So now he is VERY happy to sit by his sisters and try to steal their food.  (He has a 80% success rate.)

 The girls love to include Derrick in whatever they are doing.  For example, they wanted him to sit in a box along with them. 

 Sunday, we had a good day at church and then went for a long walk in the evening.  We ended up at the construction site on Redwood Rd and 1500 South.  The girls liked seeing the tractors.

 We stopped at a field and had a little photo shoot.

 Today my mom came and watched the kids while I slept (for real) and showered.  I also went to the store.  I brought home cookies as a treat for the kids. 

 Derrick went nuts for the cookie.

 Tonight we carved our pumpkin.

 We invited our neighbors Melody, Alex, and Caleb over to carve with us.  It was really fun to do it with them.  Having them over kept me from dwelling on the fact that Brandon isn't here to celebrate Halloween with us.

In Brandon's Words: Part 2 of Letter Dated Oct 18

Here is the other half of the letter from Brandon. This one is more for me, but there are still some things that you might be interested in, so I'm posting those.  (Plus I love that he complements me.)  

Valerie,

That's about it for everyone online.  The rest of this letter is for you.  You can share it if you want, but it might be boring for everyone else.

It is official, you never thought you would do it, but you have.  It makes me very happy that you have done it and I wish that I could be there to see it, and tell you in person.  A lot of people have written me who have talk to you since I have been gone, and they have told me about my cute little family and how great you and Charlotte, Lydia, and Derrick are.  I have heard that you are lots of fun to be with, and the girls are really well behaved.  And from several sources I have heard that they don't know how you do it without a husband/daddy at home, but you do, and they have called you a super mom!  That makes me so happy.  You are a super mom and a super wife.  I read your letters of everything you have done and are going to do and I am so glad you can take care of things the way you do.

 . . .  I just love thinking about you and the kids and I always tell anyone willing to listen that I still love you more and more each day.

I love to hear what the girls are up to.  That is so funny that Lydia loves the Hulk.  Somehow, with that girl it doesn't surprise me.  I love to hear about how Charlotte and Lydia are learning to talk, and read, and draw.  That makes me so happy.

10-20-2012
I've been writing for a while now.  I still have a lot to talk to you about.  I'm going to try to finish it tonight or tomorrow (Sunday) and get it mailed to you Monday morning.

. . . Speaking of the 36 hour pass.  It is going to be the Friday after Thanksgiving so I get Thursday afternoon after about 2:30 to Saturday morning at 8:00 off.  I have to be back in formation at 8:00.  I would love to get a hotel room and do nothing but talk with you on the phone that whole day!  But I don't think that is going to happen. I have to either go with a family member or I have to go with a Battle Buddy (the military equivalent of a mission companion.) I have to stay with them the whole time.

Well now it's 0200.  I am doing a guard shift down stairs for an hour so I am going to finish writing you some more.  I've learned a bit more [about the 36 hour pass]. I'm supposed to be with a battle buddy the whole time and I probably will get a room at a specific hotel that the army wants me to stay at.  And whomever I get a room with - probably Patrick J___ my bunk mate - will probably want to go to the movies, go to a nice dinner, etc.  I hope it wont be that long because I just want to relax, have a nice long shower, and do basically nothing.  We'll see what happens and I will definitely call you and talk to you.

Before I get too far in this letter I want to tell you, Superwife, that you for fixing the jeep and taking care of the brakes and all of the other issues.  You are definitely the most amazing person I know.  Tell T___, thank you for coming and fixing and tuning up some of the things on the jeep too.  I love what you said about it, that "it starts like a lion, and stops on a dime."  That's funny.  I don't mind that it cost ____ because now we don't have to worry about that stuff for a while.  And We Can Afford It!  Yay! Keep up the good work.

Speaking of buying things.  You mentioned that there were pictures online of stuff that we have done that you can buy - Don't!  I have already bought them.  In reception there was a lady that took our photo and told us she was going to get pictures of the events we went to and have available a photoCD/DVD/yearbook style memory book.  And me being me, checked off one of everything because I don't have a camera.  I bought 1 of everything.  We can just use all the pictures on the CD to do things with.  I can't believe I forgot to tell you that until now.

Don't worry about sending me anything but letters in the mail.  Things such as the M'lis stuff are contraband here and I will get in trouble for having them.  I do wish I could have some lotion though my hands are dry and cracking a bit, but I can handle it.  Don't send lotion.

You asked if I got to see any conference, No but I heard a few things about it, that it was very good and there was a lot of good talks that pertained to us and our situation right now.  I will go through the Ensign when I get home.  I'm glad Hillary found out she can, and is, going to go on a mission.  She will have a good time and it will be good to help her find out what she wants to do in life.  So tell her congratulations   I'm going to give her a few tips when I get back, if she wants.  She's probably received quite a few already.

 Okay, moving on down the list of things I have to tell you/talk to you about.  You have that cabin in ___ for the ____ - perfect.  I know I have some sort of ceremony on the __th in the morning I have to be at, but after that I am all yours all afternoon until the __th for graduation.  I don't believe I will be coming home with you though.  It does sound like the 18X contract guys have to stay an extra week until the _th and that is subject to change. So as soon as I find out for sure I will let you know.  But just get yourself plane tickets.  You don't know how much I would love to go home with you on the ___th, but you do what you got to do I guess.  Oh yeah, make sure the tickets are through Southwest.  They are the cheapest tickets and most easily changed if you need to modify your flight.  I leave the decision to you my beautiful, smart wife though.  Do what you gotta do.  

I love you so much and I am so glad that I have you at home taking care of the kids and everything else.  It is so funny to hear about the girls and what they do.  I love to talk to you through these letters, and I wish with all my heart that I could make you an egg sandwich too.  I love you and will see you later.  I think that is about it for this letter.  Keep writing,

With tons of love in my heart,

Brandon

Half Way

It's been 54 days since we said goodbye to Brandon.  And it will be 54 more until he is home again (unless he gets to come home right after graduation.)  So at this halfway point lets take a moment to reflect.  

Many, many people say to me, "I don't know how you do it.  Take care of twins and a baby without a husband."  I usually give an embarrassed shrug and say something like, "I don't either," or "I don't think about it too much."  In truth there are so many things that I could say in response to that statement.  Here are some of them.  

We pray a lot. I pray for Brandon in every prayer I say.  I also pray for me.  And there are many people who are praying for both of us.  Our names are on the prayer rolls in several temples.  In addition to all those prayers Brandon gave each of us a "Father's Blessing" before he left.  I give full credit to those blessings for how easily the girls adjusted to their Daddy disappearing.  I knew I couldn't explain everything to them, but I know that Heavenly Father has helped them understand.  We also made sure to dedicate our home before Brandon left.  Knowing that our home is dedicated helps me feel perfectly safe here.

Hillary is around.  Many people ask me, "Has your sister moved in yet?"  Moved in is a strong word.  If you count bringing a back pack of clothes and sleeping on my couch 2 to 4 nights a week as moving in - then Yes, she's moved in.  I call her Pocahontas because she goes where the wind takes her (or rather, where her work schedule and social life direct), but she is here enough to make a huge difference.  She watches the kids while I go grocery shopping, or do visiting teaching, or sleep in.  The girls love her and ask for "Hee Ree" on days when she isn't around. I like that I can talk to her on nights that she is here.  She also goes with us on adventures.  Today she came to the library and was a HUGE help during the Halloween Parade that was part of story time.

I have really awesome neighbors.  Before joining the Army even crossed our minds, Brandon was trying to get a job with the FAA. He would have had to go to 3 months of training in Kansas if he'd gotten a job with them.  We decided that if that happened I would keep living in our apartment and not move in with either of our parents.  We knew that our neighbors would help me out with anything I needed.  So when he decided to join the Army we already knew that I would stay here during Basic Training.  

And the neighbors have been wonderful.  Marleen is available at the drop of a hat to come sit with the kids if I need to run a quick errand.  Steffani once responded to a last minute text, and added formula to her grocery list for me.  Melody and Alex watch the kids if I need to go to the temple or somewhere else in the evening.  Caleb is willing to come along to the park and other fun adventures.  Danielle and I keep each other sane as stay at home moms.  Joseph and Sherylee are Derrick's "church parents" and take care of him during Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School (I think new people are going to think they are his real parents, and that I just hold him for his mom while she conducts Relief Society.)  And there are so many more people in our complex that keep an eye out for the kids when we are out playing or walking to the car.  I am so glad I have such good neighbors.    

I have really awesome family. Another reason I planned on staying in this apartment is that it's pretty centrally located between family members.  My parents are in Salt Lake, Brandon's are in Ogden.  And I have aunts, uncles, and cousins scattered in there as well.  With a little bit of planning there is usually someone willing to hang out.

I have really awesome friends.  For the first time in my life I have a car all to myself.  And I also have kids who can usually be reasoned with to act appropriately in other peoples' homes.  Those two things combined mean I go visit a friends' house at least once a week.  This has been really fun for me.  I love catching up with old friends.  Most of my friends have kids of their own now and so it's great see our kids play together.  Though, play is kind of a loose definition.  Usually Charlotte and Lydia take over some poor kids' toys and everyone learns some new things about sharing.   

I don't try to be super mom.  The very best advise for how to handle this time without Brandon came from my sister Lindsey.  Until recently her husband has been a member of the National Guard.  Through their whole marriage he would go to his one weekend a month and two weeks a year.  She told me, "When John's gone, I don't try to be super mom. We watch as much TV as we want.  We eat out as often as we want. And I don't try to have a clean house."  I'm so glad she told me that because there are a lot of days I look around and say, "I don't have to be super mom."  Not being "super mom" helps me be "fun mom."

I do try to "show up."  Sesame Street has a little segment called "Super Grover 2.0"  Grover is a Super Hero.  Whenever he arrives on the scene everyone will say, "Super Grover, you showed up!"  Showing up is his super power.  Showing up is also my super power.  I'm not able to do much more than show up, but you can bet if there is a party or get together me and the kids are going to be there.  

I do something fun with the kids every day.  On days that we stay home I still try to do fun things.  We have movie night once a week, we make cookies, we go to the park, we watch The Avengers over and over and over again, we decorate, read stories, we play with stickers, etc.   

I stay busy, but not too busy.  On top of running our home I have a few other things I do. I teach gospel doctrine once a week, I'm working on the kids Halloween costumes, I maintain this blog, I type up Brandon's letters, I write Brandon, and I take on occasional creative projects for friends.  All of these things come with deadlines.  And concentrating on deadlines keeps me from missing Brandon. Thinking things like, "I wish there was more time before Halloween,"  keeps me from thinking, "Is is December yet?"

So there you have it.  These are things that have helped me make it to this point. Thank you for all of the help you have given me (and probably will give me.)  Because the truth is - I'm not doing this alone.