Maycember started early this year

I kind of want to skip talking about the last week of April. It was a rough week for me. There were a lot of things that made it rough. It was a busy week - which is always hard. But busy is pretty standard at this point. So that wasn't the only thing that made that week so difficult. 

A big problem was that not only was that week busy, but the next week promised to be even busier and I was pre-stressing about that. I was scheduled to be in Boise on Monday May 1st and I KNEW that was going to be a bad day to miss at work. I always send billing statements to past due clients on the first of the month. So if I was out of town that would push that to Tuesday - along with everything else I normally do on Mondays.  

And if I couldn't get caught up on my Monday Stuff on Tuesday then it would be pushed to Wednesday which was so jam packed I didn't think I could ever catch up after that. I actually ended up rescheduling an appt that was on Wednesday to a different day and that helped a bit. I also worked things out with the lady who I share my work office with. Normally she comes in on Tuesday mornings and I come in on Tuesday afternoons.  But we ended up working it out so that she would be in the office on Monday and I'd be in it all day on Tuesday. 

So eventually I was able to stress a little less about the next week and just focus on stressing about the current week.

There's a saying among parents that May is a second December. Some people even call it Maycember. There is just so much happening in May. Field trips, end of the year concerts, class parties, yearbooks, final tests and projects. I was prepared for May to be busy. But I was not prepared for it to creep into the last week of April as much as it did.

What also made all the busyness difficult was how alone I felt through it. Brandon and I love everything about Twin Falls. But there's one tiny drawback that sometimes crops up. We don't have any family here. And there are some weeks I really wish I had some local grandparents or sisters to draw on. Sure I have Kaymie who is always willing to help out in a pinch - but she has her own four ring circus to run. I have a handful of friends and ward members who I could reach out to if needed. But I don't have anyone that I can consistently rely on to help out when life gets overwhelming.  

So sometimes it just feels like me and Brandon against the world. Not all the time. But sometimes. And this week was one of those sometimes. 

So as much as I feel like just skipping to the fun weekend I think it's important to document some of the events and feelings that happened during that last week of April. So here we go. 

Monday April 24

I kicked off the week by actually making it to a PTO meeting. I haven't been able to get Derrick and Veronica out the door quick enough to make it to the past couple meetings. But now that the mornings are lighter earlier it's easier to get Derrick and Veronica ready for school a little earlier. So I made it to the meeting - 15 minutes late - but I made it. 

I was back home in time to take Charlotte and Lydia to school and then I went straight to work. After work I went to Yoga at noon. 

Monday's are our "easy" days at home. We don't have any appointments on Monday's which is really nice. What's funny is that I don't always appreciate that. I don't know what is in me that thrives on feeling busy, but I often get really stir crazy on Mondays. It's like my brain is saying, "MUST DO SOMETHING."  I don't know why it can't just relax. 

Tuesday

On Tuesday I had the morning off from work. I was able to spend some time writing in bed. I LOVE writing in bed. And then I went on a walk with Kaymie. Kaymie also has 4 kids, but hers are more spread out than mine. She has one in high school, one in middle school, and two in elementary. We spend a lot of time comparing notes on how busy our lives are. I'm so glad I have Kaymie serving in the trenches with me. 

I got back home and got ready for work. We have admin meeting every other month so I went in for that and then took care of some things.

When I got home I knew that Brandon should be home from work already, but he wasn't in the kitchen or living room. I assumed he was in the garage. So I was very surprised when I found him laying in bed. Brandon hardly ever gets in bed during the day. He'll fall asleep all over the house, but he never just goes to bed. So I knew something was wrong. 

He woke up enough to tell me he wasn't sick, but he was super tired. Then he fell back asleep. He ended up sleeping for something like 5 hours.  

Meanwhile I went to an appointment with Veronica's therapist. This one was a parent check in. She does these ever 6 or so visits so we can talk about Veronica's progress.  We discussed several things. One of them was that she recommended I talk to the principal and make sure Veronica is not in the same class as her bully next year. I'd been considering that, but I didn't want to seem like I was requesting special treatment. It was helpful to have the therapist bring it up. Later, when I emailed the principal about it I was able to say things like, "Veronica's therapist recommended this." and "She would be happy to sign an ROI to discuss this with you if needed."

Another thing she brought up was whether or not I'd ever thought about having Veronica tested for autism. I was like, "Yes, actually."  I've often wondered if Veronica is on the autism spectrum. I've wondered since she was three and we were living in Alabama. But I didn't pursue a diagnosis back then because we would probably move before she could get in to see the Psychologist. 

When she started pre-school a lot of the things that had me worried seemed to go away so I figured that she just needed to be around other kids. But around the time she was in kindergarten I started to wonder again. She had trouble connecting with other kids and things that were "simple" for other children seemed to cause her a lot of stress. 

But then a pandemic happened and pursuing a diagnosis just seemed impossible. 

In second grade we went through the whole rigmarole of having her evaluated for special education. At the time we were looking at reading disabilities, but there were other things that I wondered about. Specifically ADHD or Autism. The SPED evaluation didn't yield enough data for her to have an IEP or a 504 plan. 

This year I had her evaluated for ADHD which came back as not very likely - but she did screen high for Anxiety. And that's how we actually got her a diagnosis that led to a 504 plan. But she's still been struggling. We've done tutoring, and therapy, and had her eyes checked, but all those things didn't quite seem to address an underlying need. 

And so I've been back to wondering about autism. So to have her therapist bring it up was a nice confirmation. And again I could write to her pediatrician and request a referral and say things like, "Veronica's therapist recommends this." and "She would be happy to sign an ROI to discuss this further." Gosh it's nice to have a therapist on the team. 

And before you start thinking or saying things like, "Veronica's not autistic! She can talk. She looks people in the eye. She likes to pretend."  Just know that autism in girls shows up VERY differently than boys. Two things her therapist pointed out are the fact that Veronica walks on her toes and that she needs melatonin to sleep at night. 

So yeah, we've kicked off that process. 

After that appointment I went home and picked up Veronica and we went to tutoring. Veronica had been doing her ISAT testing all day so she wasn't quite into tutoring. But she still did well. 

I came home and made dinner. Brandon was still asleep so we ate dinner without him. 

It was getting close to time for me to go to Bible Study. Brandon was still asleep and I was starting to think that this had to be more than just being tired. So I texted Liz and told her that I wasn't going to be there that night. 

Brandon woke up a little after 7:00. Surprisingly he wasn't sick. He was still really groggy so I was glad I was staying home to help get the kids to bed. 

He ended up not being able to sleep at all that night. He watched movies on Netflix and then went to work on Wednesday. 

Wednesday

Wednesday's are always busy. But this week things were stacked on top of each other all day. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the day. And unlike the busy Wednesday of two weeks earlier there weren't a lot of things I could drop. We were just going to have to get through them all. 

I got the kids off to school just fine. But instead of going to work after dropping off the twins I went to the dentist. I got my teeth cleaned and I don't have any cavities so that was good. 

Then I went to work and did a whole bunch of things there. I was debating skipping yoga and just getting things done at work, but I actually was done in time to go to Yoga. 

Yoga was great, but Shavasana did not go well. Normally this is my favorite part because I can just drift away for a few minutes. But this time I couldn't move away from my thoughts. This was my first time alone with my thoughts in about 36 hours. It was my first time to really think about how busy my week was. How alone I felt. How stressed I was about getting Veronica evaluated for autism. How worried I was about catching up on everything when I went out of town the next week.  

So instead of leaving yoga feeling calm, I left with the beginning of a low grade panic attack that would last for the next three days.   

But could I stop? No. 

Lydia had a doctors appointment at 2:00. Brandon was willing to take her, but he was working until 2:00 to make up the hour and a half he'd have to take off while I was out of town on Monday. (His work has bizarre time off policies.) So I picked Lydia up from school and we went to the doctor. She'd had a cough and sore throat for a couple days and I was suspecting we were dealing with her third case of strep this school year. 

So we went to the doctor to get her tested. I also asked what point we would start talking about getting her tonsils removed. The doctor said that if I wanted it we could have a referral to an ENT. 

The strep tests actually both came back negative. So I put a pin in that whole ENT thing. But I'm still glad we went to the doctor. He asked if we had any other questions and we ended up talking about how Lydia's knees have been hurting. He had her lay down and he felt around her knees for any problems. He didn't find any obvious problems, and confirmed my suspicion that her backpack is probably too heavy. But I was just so happy that he took the time to check her over. 

We were done with the appointment in time for me to walk over to the school with Brandon to pick up Derrick and to get Veronica to her art class. Veronica is so funny about this art class.  It's held in a classroom just a few doors down from her classroom. She could just walk over there when the bell rings. But she likes to check in with me after school. So she goes outside and meets up with me and Derrick and then we walk around the school and we go in the front doors and then walk down to the classroom together. She has broken down in tears in the past if we don't do this. 

Art class lasts an hour. When that was over I picked up Veronica and brought her home long enough to have a snack. Then we went to the church for girls activity. She's skipped girls activity in the past when it's on the same day as art class. But they were decorating cakes this week, and she was NOT going to miss that. So I dropped her off at the church. 

I went back home and was there for just a little while before it was time to take Derrick to the church for Boys Activity. (Normally they meet on Tuesdays, but this week they were on Wednesday for some reason.) Derrick has been acting aggressive toward some boys at church so I hung around in case there was a problem. I'd asked Kaymie to take Veronica home so that I didn't have to leave. (And to cut down on my driving back and forth to the church.)

Veronica had a lot of fun decorating her cake with fondant.

Here's the final result. 

Derrick and the other boys were working on cars for their own pine wood demolition derby. They drew out the shape of their cars. 

Kaymie took Veronica home and a little later I took Derrick home. And you'd think that would be the end of the day, but no. I'd volunteered to help with the Young Women's activity that night. The younger girls were going on a hike on the canyon rim. Their other leader was needed at the older girls activity so they needed another adult. And that adult was me. 

So at 7:00 Charlotte, Lydia, and I went to the church and met up with the other girls. We drove over to the trail head by Sportsman's Wearhouse and went for a walk along the canyon rim. They were supposed to take pictures along the way, but I'd forgot my phone. I was like, "Well if that's the only thing I forgot today then I think I'm doing okay." The other leader had her phone and took pictures. 

And then we finally got home and I was like, "I don't know how we got all that done, but we did."

Thursday

Thursday started out all right. I was over the hurdle of Wednesday and Thursday was looking like an easier day. Lydia wasn't feeling well and we hadn't got her strep culture back yet so I let her stay home. She ended up with my phone while I ran errands. 

First I took the Shonda in for an oil change. I was able to get there before any other customers so that was pretty awesome. Then I went and did the big grocery shopping. 

When I got home Lydia told me, "You had like a million text messages."  

I looked at my phone and my heart sank. The Principal had texted me asking where the checks were for the Kindergarten's bowling fieldtrip and the 1st grade's Planetarium field trip. This was the first I'd ever heard about these field trips and the need for checks. Fortunately the Principal had been able to get a hold of the PTO president and she wrote out personal checks for the field trips. But I wanted to make sure she was reimbursed right away. 

So I hurried to put away the perishable groceries and then sat down at the table with the PTO check book and wrote out checks. 

I felt terrible that I hadn't had these checks ready when they were needed. But I also felt angry that NO ONE had told me about them ahead of time. I was like, "I can't help you if I don't know what you need me to do."

The PTO president ended up sending me the list of all upcoming field trips so I was able to write out all those checks and get things ready for the next few weeks. But it was still really frustrating. Last year Liz and I worked together super well. This year things haven't gone as smoothly. There still have been good things happening, but there have also been problems. 

I went to work and the trend of "finding out about things I should have known about sooner" continued. I have a handful of clients who have their bills paid by the Idaho Crime Victims Compensation Program. It's a good program, but it's a pain in the butt to get paid from. I have to send so much paperwork to the program. 

Well on Thursday I got a letter from ICVCP saying that one of the clients has Medicaid as secondary insurance and that I should send the claims to Medicaid before I send them on to ICVCP. I was like, "What!?!"  I have been working on this since like September. It took me months to even figure out that this client qualified for ICVCP and to get the account number for ICVCP. In all that time the parents NEVER mentioned that this client has Medicaid for secondary insurance. And that's a big deal because all I have to do to bill secondary is to click a button and fill in some numbers on a form. It's sent electronically and takes so much less work than the ICVCP stuff.  I was ticked off at all that wasted time. 

So I was not in a good mood. 

After work I went to the elementary school to drop off the checks and to pick up Veronica for tutoring. She'd gone on a field trip to JIVE and her class wasn't quite back yet. So I was hanging out in the office.

Then I heard Derrick out in the hall saying, "what's wrong Veronica?"  I went out there and Veronica was coming down the hall crying. She'd started out having a good time at Jive, but about halfway through she'd started feeling sick. The school counselor had sat by her and helped her feel a little better. But on the bus ride home she'd felt like she would throw up. 

I texted the tutor and let her know we wouldn't be coming. Then we went home. Veronica and I got into my bed at home so she could calm down. Honestly, I needed it too.

I think I ended up falling asleep. 

Brandon took care of dinner. He also took the kids over to the STEM night at the elementary school. I stayed home because I just could not handle one more thing that day. 

When everyone was back home we watched Spiderman Homecoming. Sometimes Brandon and I say that we need the "Action Movie Cure" when we are having a bad day. This movie definitely cured me. It was such a good movie. I felt so much better when it was over. 

I felt so well that after the movie I stayed up until 11:00 finishing reading Catching Fire with the twins. 

Friday

Friday was probably the best day of the whole week. But it was still hard. 

Lydia wasn't feeling well again and we still didn't have the strep culture back so I let her stay home. But later in the day I would get the results and they were NEGATIVE so then I was second guessing every parenting decision I'd ever made. Why hadn't I made her go to school? Was I such a push over to let her stay home so much? 

On top of that Veronica didn't seem to be doing well that morning either. Her upset stomach from the day before had some results that made me think that I should keep her home. And they hadn't seemed to clear up in the morning. So I let her sleep in and then had her stay home. 

But later she was acting like I was the worst mom ever for making her stay home. She was missing the goodbye party for her long term substitute. Her real teacher was done with Maternity leave and would be back on Monday. So the sub was having a party. And Veronica was so sad that she was missing the party and whatever goodies were served. 

She ended up laying on the deepest guilt trip, complete with at least 30 minutes of crying, so I caved and told her I'd buy her ice cream to make up for her missing the party. Uhg. Parenting is hard. 

But Friday was also the start to a really nice weekend. 

When I got home from work I started cleaning off the patio. Here's a before picture. 

Another before. Oh I should mention, the bikes were on the patio because Charlotte and Lydia had been riding them to take care of Liz's chickens. They were also taking care of our neighbor Cathy's cats. They were so responsible about all those things. 

This is a pile of leaves that accumulated in the corner of the patio.

These were backpacks that hadn't made it back into the garage after the big clean out.

I took everything off the patio and started sweeping and vacuuming. Lydia really liked the idea of vacuuming and got up on the fountain to vacuum up all the spiderwebs. 

Here's the blank slate patio with Lydia vacuuming the fountain.

Oh and here are some tulips blooming behind the fountain.

And tulips in the front yard.

Aren't they pretty?

I was taking pictures of flowers because  Brandon had taken over on the patio. He wanted to redo the wiring for the switches out there. As things currently were we had to bend over to flip a switch to turn on the fountain. And we had to plug in the lights every time we wanted to turn on the string of patio lights.  Brandon decided to re-wire everything so that the fountain and the lights would both be controlled by switches.  So he went to work on that. 

He pulled out this wire puller thingy. He'd attach the wires to the long metal wire that was in this contraption. Then he'd pull the wires through the space in the patio wall. I was like, "How long have you had this tool?"  He constantly surprises me with his tool collection.

I'm not sure why this picture is right here, but here's Derrick and Brandon showing off the plane they have been building together. 

When Lydia was done vacuuming she went to work playing in the mud. 

Here's Charlotte on the swing. She was very happy to be done with school for the day.

Brandon came to a stopping place for his wiring project and I started moving everything back onto the patio. It looks so good!

I think this is my favorite layout yet. I especially like the palm tree where it is. 

AHHHH its so pretty!

And look!  No leaves.  

The fountain wasn't quite ready yet, but it was still looking pretty good. 

Here's this side.  We moved the grill over here so it's easier to get in and out when Brandon wants to use it. 

And here are all the girls playing in the mud.

I'd put Brandon in charge of ordering pizza. So he did that. He went to Lowes to buy switches and things and then picked up the pizza. We had our first official meal on the patio.

I think everyone would have been content to stay home and enjoy the patio, but I'd bought tickets to see JIVE that night. So we hurried and went to that. 

Derrick is smiling in this picture, but things didn't go well once the concert started. We couldn't find his headphones and so he didn't want to stay in the autitorium.  I went out with him during most of the first half of the concert and then Brandon took over after intermission.  Brandon ended up just giving Derrick his phone to play with in the lobby and then watched the concert from the back. 

Jive was good, but the whole thing with Derrick kind of put a damper on the whole thing. It wasn't as AMAZING as it usually is. 

Saturday

Saturday was the best day of the whole week. Which isn't saying much, but it was a really great day. 

We got the house cleaned and then went to the College of Southern Idaho for a free community day they were putting on. 

The first place we went was the Ropes Course. They were doing free zip lines. I wanted to go there first while the day wasn't hot yet and the course wasn't crowded.  

I left my phone in the car and so I used Brandon's phone to take pictures and videos. But I still haven't pulled those off his phone.  So I guess I'll just tell you about it. 

Brandon, Derrick, Charlotte, and Lydia all ended up going on the Challenge Course which is a lot of obstacles high up in the air. It ends with the zip line. 

Derrick was scared, but did really well.  Lydia started out okay, but they ended up repelling her down when she got overwhelmed.  She said that was the most fun part. Charlotte and Brandon made it through the whole thing.  So did Derrick.  They all liked zip lining at the end. 

Veronica took one look at the Challenge Course and had second thoughts.  I didn't blame her. I didn't think she could handle all the clipping and unclipping required on that course.  So I just took her over to the zip line. But even that was too scary for her.  I ended up talking her into at least climbing up to where the ladder met the staples on the poles.  She did that. I was hoping she'd climb the staples. But the ladder was the only thing she was comfortable with. Still I was really proud of her for trying. So she came down.  

Later Lydia went up and ziplined down. 

We'd been at the ropes course for almost 90 minutes by the time we were done.  And it was much more crowded and hot by the time we left.  

We walked over to the veterinary science building so the kids could do the petting zoo there.  They loved that. There were baby goats, and bunnies, and a pony, and a cow!  They kids loved it. 

Then we went to the Planetarium and went on the roof for solar viewing. I finally had my phone again.

It was really cool.

Next up was free ice cream and fries at the . . . .hmm I'm not sure what the building was.  Maybe the food technology building? We'll say that. 

This robot was sorting blocks while we were in line. 

We were trying to find the Facepainting booth near the fine arts building. But on our way over there we went to the library for their mini golf course made out of books. 

It was really cute. 

And the kids liked it a lot. 

We did find the Face Painting booth outside the fine arts building.  Lydia wanted to be a dog. 

Veronica got a spider. (Though it only had 6 legs.)

Charlotte also wanted to be a dog.

And Derrick got a sun.

We had hotdogs and chips provided by the food court in the student center. 

By this point it was about 2:30 and the event ended at 3:00. So we started walking back to the car.  On the way we stopped at the Veterans services booth.  They had the kids pretend to throw grenades.  Charlotte did really well and won a bracelet made from 550 cord. 

The kids had fun getting things at different booths.  Admissions gave them lots of stickers and buttons. 

Derrick saw a booth with balloons that was closing up.  He said, "I want to ask for those balloons."  And ran over there. 

He came back with the balloons. This was no surprise at all. 

Back at home we went back to hanging out in the backyard. Brandon had finished wiring everything. I got the fountain put all the way back together and filled up. It was amazing to turn it on with an easy to access switch. 

Here's the outlet where we plug in the lights and the fountain.

And here are the switches that control them. 

The day had been super hot but we were determined to have a fire anyway. We still had wood to burn. Here's Derrick watching the fire from the shade. 

Brandon started to work on installing the garage door opener. This way the kids can easily get their bikes in and out of the garage instead of storing them on the patio.

Here's Veronica with the sock babies from the week before. 

Derrick had a blast in the mud. 

I put together tin foil dinners and Brandon put them in the coals and then built a fire on top of them.  Things had cooled off enough that people actually wanted to sit by the fire. 

I noticed the cherry tree was starting to bloom.

Here are Charlotte and Lydia trying out dinner. You can see the fire roaring in the background. 

And here's everyone hanging out around the fire after dinner. 

Derrick and Charlotte started playing toss the dirt sock again.

I think this was why Charlotte was so good at throwing that pretend grenade. (Oh and look at how small that wood pile was getting.) 

I'd bought everything for s'mores so we made those. 

Here's Charlotte roasting a marshmallow.

And Lydia enjoying one.

We sat around the fire for a while. We had a good time. But toward the end I was feeling a little done with family time. So I was the first one to go inside and take a shower. 

Brandon and I had been talking about what time I should leave for Boise the next day.  Brandon told me, "really you should just leave first thing in the morning. You have been so stressed out.  Just take tomorrow off." So after my shower I started packing my suit case. 

Sunday

On Sunday I got up before any of the kids were up and was out the door before 8:00.  I thought about driving straight to Boise, but then realized that I had the whole day to get there.  So I decided to take a bit of a scenic route. I went up to the Little City of Rocks area. I was driving the mini van and I wasn't sure about it's ability to handle the road so I just parked a little ways away and looked at everything for a while. 

Then I kept driving North to the area around Fairfield. 

Here I am.

I turned onto Highway 20 and drove West on that. I've never done that before. It went through some cool mountains. 

I was surprised at the snow.

I stopped in Mountain home and ate a salad that I'd packed for lunch.  Then I kept driving. I made it to Boise a little after 12:00.  

I was in Boise for a training for the Board of Directors for Idaho Parents Unlimited.  I've been using services from IPUL for years, but I've never actually seen their office.  So I made sure to find that building so I'd know where to go on Monday.  

Then I called my hotel to find out when I could check in.  They said I could check in in about an hour.  I decided to find the hotel so I drove there.  It was next door to a Lowes so I parked and then just wandered around the garden section for an hour. That was lovely. 

And then it was finally time to check into the hotel. This was a very nice hotel that had been booked and paid for by IPUL. I felt a little self conscious as I went inside to check in. I was pretty homeless looking at this point. And the person checking in ahead of me was in a SUIT.  But whatever. 

My room was lovely. I couldn't believe this was all for me. 

It had a little kitchen area.

And a big bathroom.

I plopped down on my bed, turned on Netflix, and watched the Crown for the rest of the day. 

I only left my room three times. Once around 4:00 when I went to Wendy's for dinner. Again a little bit after that because I'd left my real glasses in the car when I'd put on my sunglasses. And again around 8:00 to walk over to Walmart (which was just past the Lowes) to buy ice cream and a snack. 

I realized I had a problem with the ice cream - I didn't have a spoon. So I melted it a bit in the microwave and then put it into the cup I got from Wendy's. 

I decided to move to the lounge chair for a while so I kept watching the Crown while sitting in that chair. It was heaven to just sit there and enjoy the ice cream and the strawberry flavored chex mix.  

This whole day had been exactly what I needed after a week of zooming around catering to everyone else's needs.  I loved having a day that was just about me and what I wanted to do. 

I went to sleep around 11:00 and slept super well in that King Size bed. 

And that's the end of that crazy week.