Week Ten: Amazing neighbors = amazing week

On Monday when I abandoned my kids at my parents I did a lot of thinking about how I could avoid ever getting to that much of an emotional breaking point again.  I decided that 1. I needed to take more time for myself, and 2. I needed to start actually using the many people who have offered to help me.  

This was a much better week than last week.  Mostly because I didn't have the stress from Birthoween to deal with.  But also because I was able to better manage the little stresses in my life. Throughout this post I'll talk about some of the changes that helped make things better. I also started reading the Mistborn trilogy.  Taking time to sit down and read instead of frantically trying to get things done while the kids are asleep has helped me be a lot more productive (and happier) while they are awake.  So here's the run down of my fun week.

Tuesday gave me an opportunity to do both.  In the morning I called on my neighbor Marleen to come over and watch the kids while I went to vote.  The girls love her because she lets them watch Bambi (Lydia calls it  Bammy) on her iphone.  In the evening my neighbor Alex came down and watched the kids while I went to Enrichment.  I had a lot of fun talking to the women in my branch.  We did a "Thanksgiving Taste Test" and I brought bread sticks because if I ever have to host Thanksgiving by myself I'm going to serve pizza.  

My neighbor Danielle was at Enrichment and we had so much fun talking that we decided to continue the fun after we got our kids to bed.  So about an hour later she came over to my house and we had a "writing party" and worked on separate writing projects while talking and watching election returns.  (And of course more talking than actual writing occurred.)

I babysit Danielle's four year old daughter on Wednesdays.  Usually I park all four kids in front of the TV and just go about my usual routine.  However, this week all three of my kids ended up going down for a nap while she was still here.  So she and I made count down chains.  Her's counts down until her birthday (in March) and mine counts down until the day Brandon's Christmas leave starts (less than 40 days!)

 On Thursday I made sure we spent a lot of time outside soaking up the last of the glorious Indian Summer we've been enjoying.  I took the kids to the park.

 And then we went and gathered over-sized acorns for my mother in law at an oak tree I discovered last year.

 The girls had lots of fun picking up the acorns.

 We also (finally) put away a huge pile of laundry that had been dominating my bedroom.  The kids enjoyed the three empty laundry baskets.

 Then we went outside and played in the leaves some more.  The neighbor boys have been making huge piles of leaves and we've been able to play in them.  But on this day the girls wanted to gather own leaves.

 All we had were brooms, but they didn't care.

It was such a perfect afternoon and I hated knowing that a storm was on its way. 

 That night I took Derrick with me to throw away the garbage.  The wind was blowing really hard from the south.  He loved the wind.  We sat on the porch together and listened to the wind for a while.  It was a really special moment for me.

The next day, as predicted, we woke up to snow!   During breakfast the girls saw the snow and wanted to go out and play in it.  It took us almost an hour to finish breakfast, get 4 people dressed, change 3 diapers, put on 3 snow suits, put on 4 pairs of socks, put on 4 coats, and put on 3 pairs of boots.  By the time I was trying to put Lydia's boots on she'd forgotten what we were doing.  She was crying and resisting all my efforts to put boots on her feet.  Derrick was crying because he couldn't move in his snowsuit and coat.  And Charlotte was crying because we weren't going outside yet.

Finally I opened the door so Charlotte could go out and that reminded Lydia of why she needed to wear boots.  So she let me put them on.  And once I picked up Derrick he was happy again.

 The girls were fascinated by the snow.  They saw snow a few weeks ago, but this was the first time they were able to walk in it.

 Derrick seemed a little unsure.

 We all had a great time in the snow.  That is until the girls' hands got cold from eating snow and they both wanted me to carry them home.  (Something that is IMPOSSIBLE to do while carrying Derrick.)

 Once we were inside we had hot chocolate and warmed back up.  Lydia has started playing with the bathroom sink.  She was so determined to play with it that she would climb up on the toilet and then lean way over to reach the sink.  I finally admitted defeat and put a stool between the toilet and the sink.  On this particular day she had put my bobby pins into the soap like they were candles in a cake.  She was even singing "Haaaaaapppppeeeee, Haaaaaaapppppppeeeee."

 I would have been content to stay inside the rest of Friday, however I'd made plans to go to Provo to hang out with Cheysi, one of my best friends.  I might have cancelled those plans rather than risk driving in the snow, but I knew my brother was counting on me to be his ride down to Provo for an important date.  So I packed up the kids, picked up my brother, and drove to Provo.

We arrived while Cheysi was in class so we decided to kill time at the Museum of Art.  Occasionally they have child friendly exhibits.  This was NOT one of those time.  They did have this balloon room that held the girls' attention for about 5 minutes.    

 After spending as much time at the museum as possible (less than 30 minutes) we took the kids on a little walk in the snow.  This is what they looked like.

 Derrick was just fine in his carrier with the cover - though he didn't like when we closed the flap.

 I thought this picture was just adorable.

 I can't believe this picture was taken less than 24 hours after the ones of the us in the leaves.

 Finally Cheysi was done with class.  She met up with us and took us back to her apartment. (Billy left to hang out with his friends.)  The girls immediately felt at home at Cheysi's and climbed all over her furniture 

Year ago Cheysi and I worked together for two summers as "hosts" for the youth conference program at Snow College.  We were co-workers the first summer, and inseparable the second summer. One day when I start doing my "memory" posts again I will tell you all about our crazy adventures of water fights, ropes course challenges, and dressing up for dances.  Cheysi is absolutely one of my favorite people.  She is the physical embodiment of the work FUN.  When I'm around her I just relax and enjoy everything - no matter what happens.  Seeing her was exactly what my slightly frazzled nerves needed this week.    

 Derrick charmed all of her roommates - including Cheysi's sister Solana (another of my favorite people).

 We had pizza and Cheysi had the girls literally eating out of her hands.  I have to mention that for a very short time I actually considered naming my girls Charlotte and Cheysi.  That didn't last, but Cheysi still made her mark on the twins birth.  I was on the phone with her when my water broke on Halloween night.

 Cheysi's brother Talon also showed up and the girls had fun with him too.

 The kids and I could have stayed and played with my friends all night, but I didn't want to drive in the snow and the dark.  So, all too soon I had to pull myself away.  Back at home we watched the original Star Wars for our movie night.  It did not hold the girls attention at all.  They kind of liked R2D2, but mostly they ignored the movie.  I guess I'll have to try again in a few years.

On Saturday we cleaned the house a little.  In the afternoon my mother-in-law came to watch the kids while I went to the temple with my neighbors Alex and Melody.  I was able to be there as Alex went through for the first time and then see the two of them get sealed.  Many, many people from our branch were also there to support them.  It was great to be in the temple with so many friends.  As an extra bonus, Alex and Melody were sealed in the exact same sealing room that Brandon and I were married in!  I kept thinking about how Brandon and I had made those same sacred covenants, and received such wonderful promises at that same alter. It was a nice little tender mercy.

Then we all went out to dinner.  Our group was HUGE so the Sr missionaries ended up going to another restaurant so the wait wouldn't be as long for the rest of us.  I stayed and sat at the table with the rest of the branch members.  We had a great time comparing proposal stories and talking about other things.

The kids were all asleep when I got home.  But that didn't last for long.  Charlotte woke up while I was planning my Sunday School lesson.  She was super cute and sat next to me and drew while I worked on my lesson.  Eventually she went to sleep.  Derrick on the other hand woke up about every two hours. He was teething (his first tooth popped through on election night) and was not very happy about it.  In the morning all three kids woke up before I was ready to be awake.  Thankfully Alex and Melody answered my text for help and came down to watch the kids while I went back to bed for an hour.  Yeah - they are the best neighbors.

Here is the view outside my patio.  This picture doesn't do it justice, but it looks just like a Christmas card.  It snowed basically all day Friday and Saturday.  We have a least 6 inches of snow.  On Sunday I was a little apprehensive about taking the jogger stroller to church in the snow, but loading the kids into it is still easier than loading them all into the car.  We live only 5 minutes walking distance from the church so it's not worth the hassle that putting them in the car generates.

So I put them all in the stroller and went out in the the deep snow.  It worked just fine.  Have I mentioned lately that I love that stroller?

I was also more strategic about entering the church than I have been in the past.  Up until last week I used the same entrance that everyone else uses.  The problem with that was every tries to make conversation and ask how Brandon is doing as I walk in the door.  That would be fine except I'm trying to maneuver the little stroller that I put Derrick in as well as keep tabs on Charlotte and Lydia.  I always enter the chapel feeling overwhelmed.  This week I went to the door on the other side of the building.  No one from the branch uses that door. I was able to get the kids out of the jogger, put Derrick into the little stroller, enter the building, take everyone's coats off, change from my boots into my church shoes, and enter the chapel while only seeing one other branch member (who was kind enough to guide Charlotte and Lydia to our bench for me.)

Sacrament Meeting itself went so much better than last week.  Derrick was back with his usual adopted church parents (they were out of town last week).  He loves them, and even though he was teething and had been kind of cranky all day he was just fine during church.  Despite skipping nap time, Charlotte and Lydia were good too.  Charlotte adopted herself out to the Sr Missionary couple that sat behind us.  She went back to their bench and played with all the interesting things they had.  Lydia sat on my lap and made me draw for her.  For some reason she loves stop signs so I drew a million of those for her.

After sacrament meeting Charlotte and Lydia zipped off to nursery.  I made sure their teacher showed up and then I went to teach Sunday School.  I have to say I LOVE my calling right now.  I've always wanted to teach gospel doctrine so this is a dream come true.  And I love that I teach every week.  Thinking about my lesson all week long is a nice distraction from missing Brandon and stressing about raising the kids.

After church the girls fell asleep almost as soon as we walked in the door.  They slept until about 6:30 and then stayed awake until about 11:00.  It had been such a nice day that I didn't even mind.

Today we had another great day.  We cleaned the house/played for most of the day.  Then this evening we had a real family home evening for the first time in about a month.  Which means we made cookies together for the first time in a month.

 We even got down our plant and looked at how much it has changed in the past two months.

After bedtime Danielle came over and babysat (aka sat on my couch while the girls slept) so I could run to the store and buy important things like milk and formula.  Have I mentioned lately that I have great neighbors?  I love the fact that I have so many awesome people living within a few feet of me.

So that was my totally awesome week.  It's amazing how asking for help and taking time for myself helped create such a good week.  And I feel so on top of things again. Hopefully, I can keep this up for the next month.

In Brandon's Words: Letter dated Nov 4, 2012

Most of this letter was written on Sunday morning before Brandon even knew he was going to be able to call me that evening.  Then that evening we were able to talk for almost an hour.  He was given the phone privileges because one of the other platoons screwed up big time.  (They basically stole food and then stole back their own cell phones.) As punishment they had to fill and empty sandbags all day while the rest of the company was given extra lone phone privileges.

November 4, 2012

Valerie,

I am great.  How are you? I hope that you ave having lots of fun at home because I know I am down here.  I am glad that you stay busy - do you get time away from the kids at all?  Because I am sure playing all day every day with 3 kids under 2 - well 3 now - takes its toll.  I tell you what.  I will come babysit sometime this week if you want - yeah right - you and I both wish.

I am sure I will get a letter or two from you on Wednesday because the mail usually comes Monday or Tuesday night.  However, we aren't going to be here.  We are going on a camping trip - okay - Field Training Exercises - but nevertheless it is a camping trip.  We are going to sleep away from our bay in the woods somewhere and practice being on a mission.  We might even attack other platoons in our company and take hostages.  It's going to be fun, but I think it is going to be cold.  And I bet it is going to be really cold.  Even so, I am very thrilled to go.  It will be fun.

Guess what!  I am getting stronger.  I can run pretty fast.  I am not the fastest, but I am faster than a lot of others in the platoon.  I think I told you I am a 14:35 2 mile run the last I checked.  Tomorrow morning I will find out again.  Hopefully I will have improved.  I am not sure about pushups and sit ups but I will definitely let you know when I find out.  However last night I did 3 diamond pushups and shocked myself, and then I did 10 more.  It was hard but I did it.  I was very impressed with myself.

I am learning to speak up.  I am not great at it yet, but often enough people around here turn their heads and ask if that really was me that spoke. I even got someone's attention from across the room while a group of people was talking around him.  I am very excited about all the changes I am making.  I hope and I am sure I will continue to make more better changes. I (speaking of changes) am not changing for hte worse.  I still do not swear even though everyone here does.  I do not add to conversations that are gross around here.  There is a lot of vulgarity and profanity and speaking bad of women going on and I try my hardest to not participate.  However, sometimes I wish I could go somewhere quiet like a library to study and write letters so I could concentrate.

We had a class all day on Saturday about personal finances.  Wow did I learn a lot - not really that was supposed to be sarcastic.  I was a re-hash of every personal finance class/seminar/program I've ever taken.  I kept thinking to myself - "yes I do that, that, that, etc."  Thank you so much for being so smart and trustworthy with out money.  Other guys around here worry so much and I got give it a second thought because I know what a wonderful person you are.

Yes, the class was for the younger guys around here that know nothing about finances.  And it was really good for them, but I wish I didn't have to stay for everything.  They talked about loans, car buying, bank accounts, debit cards and checks, and stuff like that.  I did however find the section on military financial aid for students interesting. And I did find what happens for a soldier who retires after the military interesting too.  At least there were dynamic speakers.  It wasn't that had not falling asleep, and it was informative.

I am so glad that I have you as my wife.  I completely trust you with our family finances.  And I have no qualms at all letting you take care of that, especially while I am here at basic training.  The lady at the finance class asked up if it was necessary to have a credit score, and then followed up with the response, "in this day and age - yes." I thought to myself - only if you plan on borrowing money - me, no.

I love our idea for finances - save basically everything except bills.  Who needs all of that other crap anyway.  Granted there are things that I want, but because we save a lot I don't ever want to spend tons of money on crap we don't need.  I wouldn't mind one day having a nice entertainment center, and a nice computer/printer, but I am happy we don't have to spend tons of money right now to get it.  Like you, I want to be well enough off with our finances when we get a little older that we can give someone a jar of money for Christmas, and we can send other kids who can't afford it on activities for school.  I love the idea of taking scouts out for ice cream one day and not having to turn in and receipts at church, but do it just because. I don't mind sacrificing.  I don't have to have every DVD or new computer equipment that comes out.  Thanks for mirroring that idea with me.  I love you sooo much for that.

Well, some fun things that we did this week were that on Friday we got to use Pugil Sticks.  Those are the sticks with the pads all around the edges.  I was a little nervous to use them until I found out I would be going against the strongest guy in our platoon.  Then I got really nervous.  But I was okay.  I held my own and I didn't get knocked out.  And I got a couple of good blows in.  I don't think I am as inept as I think I am.  It was a good match.  It was funny to watch everyone though because I am not really excited to watch fighting.  Although everyone else loves it.  Third and first platoons were cheering and yelling for their guys and having a blast.  Whereas fourth/second platoons were a lot quieter.  I think they were cheering on the inside.  Their drill sergeants probably didn't want them to yell.  I just realized I wrote this to you already in the letter I wrote you at the dentist's office.  Oh well, I think I added a bit more detail to the story.

I was going to tell you about our 8 mile ruck march and throwing hand grenades, but I think I told you about that too.

The last thing I was going to tell you about was that 3rd platoon is awesome. We have received many (indirect) complements from our Drill Sergeants.  Today DS C____ put us as door guards to make sure that one one came down from the bays except for meals and to guard the laundry room so no one would use it.  He said it was because 3rd was the most responsible and trust worthy platoon.  Yesterday DS P_____ came upstairs to let us know that he wanted anyone with information about screwups from other platoons to come to him and he stayed and told us a few stories that were way cool.

DS C____ used to be out drill sergeant but was placed in charge of 2nd platoon, and always tells us he misses us.  We have our days where we don't get our compliments - usually on a shooting range because of me (just kidding) but for the most part all the drill sergeants like us.  While we were being smoked (punished) as a company one of the drill sergeants (apparently, I wasn't there for this) told 3rd platoon that he was smoking us with everyone else because he had to, and he basically came across as remorseful that he was doing it.

Don't get me wrong, we definitely screw up sometimes, but I think we screw up doing normal things not stealing or being dishonest, but making simple mistakes or having a long day.

Well I think that is about all I have to tell you this letter.  I love you and I miss you and the kids.  Mom said that the girls were getting so big that I'm not going to recognize them when I get home.  After remembering them coming to visit Derrick in the hospital and how big they were then, she is probably right.  I don't think I will recognize anyone when I get home.

Thank you for talking to me on the phone.  It is always a very pleasant surprise to talk to you on the phone.  I hope you feel the same way about talking to me.  It was nice to have a couple of minutes (51 to be exact) to talk.  No pressure.

Every time I talk to you it makes my day and my week.  It makes life here a little more bearable.  I hope you have a better week this week than your Sunday went.  And I hope your Mom has fun with the kids.  And most important of all I hope you get a nice day off.  I hope that I will be able to take the kids off of your hands at least once or twice during my time home with you around Christmas.

I love you so much.  That you again for being the absolute best wife in the whole world.  You are amazing.  I don't have to worry about anything when I have you.  You and I together can accomplish a lot of things.  Thank you so much.

With all my love,

Brandon     

In Brandon's Words: Letter Dated Nov 2

I was able to talk to Brandon for 50 minutes on Sunday.  It was so nice to have a real conversation with him.  

Nov 2, 2012

Valerie, 

I am in the dentists office again. I have one more cavity I need filled.  So here I am, and I would imagine since this is the Army I am going to be here for a while.  I am on a long list of names at the bottom.  Luckily I brought some paper to write on.  

I am doing really well I am for the most part maintaining a very positive attitude.  I have lots of friends and have a lot of fun here.  

Yesterday morning we did an 8 mile ruck march.  A ruck march is a really long walk carrying a military issue from frame backpack loaded with gear - its called a ruck sack.  And we just walk.  It's pretty boring.  We got up at 3:00 am to leave at 4:45 am.  So this is an early walk.  It is dark outside as we move out and it gets lighter as the day goes on.  Although during the morning it is cold.  You can definitely tell it is getting to be the cold "winter" season around here.  Apparently it can snow down here, but it hardly does.  It just gets cold.  And the air is moist and breezes blow.  Yeah, it gets cold especially when we only have one or two layers on - no scarf and no coat.  I hope they let us put on a fleece jacket soon.  We can't put anything on unless we all have it.  Turns out the only winter gear we have is cloth gloves.  So we are cold until the sun comes up. 

During a ruck march we are supposed to file off the road and pull security in the tree line (we line up and point over weapon in the trees to look for "bad guys" usually the only thing we see are our guys going to the bathroom in the woods, but we are there nevertheless to make sure they don't get killed.  We are laying on or next to our rucksacks to do this and probably half of the guys fall asleep while doing it.  I car hear the drill sergeants talking in the road as we do this.  Yesterday at about 6:00 I heard one of the drill sergeants say to another "okay lets wake 'em up and get going again." It makes me laugh a bit on the inside.  It took us about 3 hours maybe hours maybe to do the whole walk.  Then we ate breakfast.  

We stopped at a grenade range - yes we got to throw live hand grenades yesterday.  I didn't quite think that I would make it on my first throw - with a pretend grenade - that went all of 40 feet or so in front of me (my arms were really sore from doing lots of pull ups the day before. Not to mention I haven't thrown a baseball since I was 15.  

Its funny how much adrenaline kicks up when you hear people yelling and things blowing up. It was actually a pretty fun day and I didn't blow me or anyone else up.     

The sergeant helping me with the grenades was really chill and he didn't try to intimidate me too much - drill sergeant S____ there too and come to think of it he was really cool too. While me and another guy were waiting to throw our grenades he picked up a tiny piece of shrapnel (literally about the big --) and showed it to us and told us how there were thousands of these things in a grenade mixed with explosives to "mess" you up if you get one thrown at you.  

I had a pretty good day.  This morning we fought other guys in our company and platoon with Pugil sticks.  Very crazy and very fun.  I still don't think I am a very aggressive person, but I held me own for sure.  I didn't win, but I didn't lose by much.  

 It makes me laugh, I don't know what you think about it but most of the guys in my bay can't believe it when I get aggressive and fight.  They always say comment like, "Wow, Illguth, I didn't know you have that in you."

It is fun to be here and experience new things that I've never done, nor dreamed I'd ever do.  It's weird to be in this place and be willing to sacrifice so many things for a while so I can get something that is hopefully worth it in the end.  I hope the quote "sacrifice is giving up something good - for something better" is true in this respect. I don't feel that I am sacrificing you or the kids but I feel like I am sacrificing time and energy and definitely time with you guys.  I pray that it will be worth it in the end.  You tell me how nice life is for you right now and I am sure it is going to work out , whatever the outcome.  I think about you all often.

I am glad that I get paid and that you have the sense to spend it wisely.  There are lots of people around that have no clue how to spend money.  We are apparently having a financial class tomorrow so that all the young guys can learn how to spend their income.  Some of the guys here spend at least $50 every time we go to the PX to get personal items and equipment - one guy spent about $200.00 once to get a lot of crap he probably didn't need.

Apparently our unofficial snack on third platoon is cough drops  and most everyone, except me, gets at least 2 packages every week when we go to the PX.  I barely spend anything at all.  I don't have to worry about being a big spender because I learned from the best, you.  Thanks for being my family finance partner and helping to keep our family strong. . . .

Well I just finished me dentist visit.  My mouth is way numb.  They use a lot of Novocaine or whatever.  I can't talk very well and my lip is sagging a bit - that's never happened until here.   

I got here at 11:53 and signed out at 2:05.  Now I am waiting for our last guy to finish so we can go back as a group.  I tell you everything takes forever to do in the Army.  Everything that is except  stuff that we are expected to do.

Now it is personal time and I am doing laundry.  And I will finish this letter tonight, I am confident I will anyway.

My mouth is no longer numb but I couldn't taste dinner at all this evening.  I tried to get all soft foods so that I wouldn't have to chew on my tooth.  That is a chore too - I had to tell the story to the guy serving veggies so I could get Boiled Broccoli instead of corn on the cob.  

The rest of the afternoon today was pretty uneventful.  Just cleaning and bay maintenance.  You don't know how hard it is to see broken things around here and not be able to fix them.  Like toilets that run and other that wont flush and fixtures on the wall falling out and other things like that.  I would personally love to take a day and repair everything in this bay.  However, we have to put a work order in and sometime within the next year it might get fixed.  Oh well, I try not to think about it too much.

I know I tell you this a lot in these letters, but I love you.  I want you to remember that I am still here for you.

Thank you for being a wonderful woman: smart, funny, witty, intelligent, creative, sexy, a great mother, a great sister, a great daughter, and most specifically a great wife.

With all the love I have,
Your sweetheart,

Brandon

(If there are any typos in this letter it's because I typed this while talking to a friend and watching the election returns.)

Week Nine: Pre and Post Halloween

Next year I am going to make sure I have the kids' Halloween costumes done at least a week before Halloween.  It was just too hard to get everything ready for Halloween and the birthday on top of everything else I usually do.  But despite the extraordinary amounts of work we still had a lot of fun.  

A lot of our fun revolved around our pumpkin.  I bought it about a week before Halloween, but I didn't bring it into the house until two days before.  I was worried it would become a member of the family if I brought it in any sooner. 

  I was wrong, it still became a member of the family.

This is how it looked after we carved it.

 The day after we carved it the girls wanted me to bring it outside so they could play in the leaves with it again.

 The pumpkin also ate dinner with us at the table, and slept in the girls' room during nap time and bedtime.  For a while there I felt like I had four kids.  After Halloween I waited a few days and then threw the pumpkin away.  I figured that having "Pampken" suddenly disappear was a lot less traumatic than watching him slowly decay.

This is what the girls' wanted to wear the day after their birthday.  In case you can't tell it's their Avengers shirts with tights.  

 When my brother Billy come to see the girls on their birthday, he showed them how to make balloons stick to the ceiling with static electricity.  The next night the girls remembered what he showed them and started rubbing balloons on their heads.  This is what we ended up with.   

Hillary was able to come help me on Friday.  She made dinner for us and spend a long time cleaning my kitchen. We had our traditional movie night.  We watched Aladdin.  Hillary hasn't seen that movie for a long time so she had a lot of fun watching that movie.

 Here's a picture of my Three Musketeers all enjoying their bottles.  I;m not even going to try to ween the girls off of their bottles until Derrick doesn't need one.  The same goes for the binkies.

 On Saturday we went to the baptism for Brandon's nephew Wally.  I didn't even try to take the kids into the chapel.  As I planned we arrived late and then waited in the foyer until it was Wally's turn to be baptized   Then we went with the rest of the family into watch the baptism.  When Charlotte saw the font she said, "Wah-ter" over and over again.

After the baptism my sister-in-law hosted a luncheon at her house.  Here is Charlotte playing with a quite book that I made years ago.  I should have made one for me.  She loved every page.

 Here are all the cousins eating lunch.

 Charlotte spent along time sitting with her Bestemor.  Bestemor tried fed her lots of different foods.

 And Derrick spent a lot of time with Bestefar.

 After the luncheon I took the kids on a drive up to my in-law's property to see how the house is progressing.  It's coming along.  Everything was back filled last week and it is ready for framing this week.

At home we went outside and played in the leaves with one of the neighbor kids.  

 Everyone was covered in leaves and so it was time for a bath.  This is how bath time looks right now. Three kids in the tub - or rather two kids in the tub.  Charlotte is terrified of the water.  She'll get in for a second and then start crying and get back out.  Lydia sometimes stays in for a long time and plays with Derrick, or she feeds off of Charlotte's fear and wants out of the tub too.  Derrick is the only one out of the three who consistently likes taking a bath right now.  He sits in the tub and splashes the whole time.  

 Sunday was a VERY difficult day.  The end of daylight savings time meant that the kids woke up very early and then were off all day.  The craziness culminated in Sacrament meeting.  I ended up taking the girls out - TWICE!  The second time, Sister Jones, one of the Sr Missionaries helped me take the girls out.  She gave me a hug and I just started sobbing.  Yeah, I didn't expect that either.  She told me I was doing a great job as a Mom especially on my own.  Thanks to her words I was able to pull myself together, drop the girls off at nursery, and then teach Sunday School.

Still it was a hard day.  But then at 6:00 I got an unexpected treat.  Brandon was able to call home!  And we were able to talk for almost an hour!  Usually we just have a few minutes and we rapidly fire questions back and forth at each other.  But this time we were able to have a real conversation.  Oh I miss talking to him.

After I got off the phone I felt better about everything.  The kids had been great while I was on the phone, and they kept being good.  Here is Lydia trying to sit in Derrick's lap.  She does this from time to time.  It makes me laugh.    

 And here is Charlotte.  She thinks she is laying in Derrick's lap, but she missed by a few feet.

 Even though Brandon's phone call had cheered me up I still needed a break today.  So when the kids woke up this morning I took them to my parents house. Then I came back home and slept until 11:00.  After that I laid in bed for an hour and enjoyed the fact that I didn't have to get out and help anybody.  Oh that was nice.

Then I did some stuff on the computer and internet for a while.  At 2:00 I started cleaning the house.  Almost 5:00 hours later all 5 rooms were clean.  I'll spare you any before and after pictures, but here is how much trash I ended up taking out.

 I feel back on top of my life again.  When I picked up the kids I was so happy to see them.  And they were happy to see me.  We came home and enjoyed the clean house.  It's interesting how much a clean house makes a difference in the spirit of our home.  Everything feels calmer.

We have less than 7 weeks left until Brandon comes home.  This is what our plant looks like right now.  I think it will bloom before then, but we'll see.  

In Brandon's Word: Letter Dated Oct 26, 2012

I've had several people ask me what other way's I can communicate with Brandon besides letters. They want to know if I can Skype, e-mail, talk on the phone, etc.  They always give me a shocked look when I tell them that letters are the only way we communicate.  Occasionally I get a random phone call, but I never have advance warning of when to expect one of those.  They come every 3 weeks or so. I got one of those random calls on Tuesday.  We were able to talk for less than 20 minutes. After we were done talking Brandon sent me this picture text of him in uniform.     

As hard as it is to not have regular conversations with Brandon it's been an interesting experience.  I never waited for a missionary (or even really wrote a missionary besides my brother) so I'm learning all about that now.  My sister is writing a missionary and she has him send his letters to my house.  We both eagerly await checking the mail every day.  

Anyway, here are excerpts from Brandon's most recent letter.  I'm only posting part of it because some of it has a more introspective tone that I'm not sure he would want the whole world to read.     

October 26, 2012

Valerie,

 . . . Anyway, I don't want to this to be a totally somber letter, but I just wanted to have a serious heartfelt conversation with you.  I love you and I really miss talking to you.

Oh by the way, speaking on conversation topics -let's talk politics. I voted! Thank you for getting all of that figured out and sent to me.  I love my girl who is always on top of everything.  There was a conversation here the other day on whether or not we are going to vote.  I mentioned that I already had.  Everyone looked at me somewhat strange.  I keep reassuring them that I have the best wife in the world.

And here I am again. I have a list of 16 things but I really don't feel like writing about them.  I wonder if I'm getting slightly sick of this place and I just don't want to relive it enough to write about it.  Oh well, here goes.

Since you are an awesome wife and do so many things contrary to what the other wives in my platoon do -like spend all of the money I've earned so far - thank you for not doing that.  I'm going to start out bragging a little about myself, and telling you what an awesome husband you have.  I am definitely making an impression around here.  I have heard people telling other that, "there is no way you can't like Illguth, everyone likes him." I try to talk to and be super friendly to everyone in the platoon- and company for that matter, and get to know them even if they are not my favorite person- or do things that completely irritate me.  I am pretty sure that everyone things the "Mormon Guy" is weird, but I'm equally sure they like me.  I heard another guy say, "I've seen him fix 3 different guys' blisters in our bay.  He's our bay medic." (Now mind you, there is an EMT in our bay.)

Do you remember in our married student ward where that guy moved in from French Speaking Africa and I was having a conversation with him in French, and every walking by looked at us really weird?  Yes, that has happened here.  I found out that one of the guys, I think in the 4th platoon, is Haitian Creole from Haiti.  And him and I were talking in French together, and a bit of creole too.  It was fun.  He now likes me and every time I see him I say, "seva?" and he replies, "sava bien."  I think it's funny when that happens.  I think it was the that same day that my bay mates found out I could sing Disney songs in French and I had them laughing.  People always give me that look when I speak French.

The other day I had a guy from the 4th platoon come up to me and tell me that he will always remember, and thinks constantly, about something I told him while we were still in Reception.  I didn't remember what he was referring to.  When I asked him, he reminded me of when we were learning how to make bunks.  I taught two different classes on how to make them.  And when the Drill Sergeant taught everyone he told everyone a couple of ways to cheat on making a bed.  Such as hooking the blankets and sheets to metal clips under the bed to keep it tight.  This caused a lot of people (I noticed) to puncture holes in the corner of their sheets.  Me, being me, thought that it would be good to not destroy the sheets and told everyone the pressure of the mattress holds them tucked in.

That's not what he remembered though.  When the drill sargeant was talking he told everyone that, "if you not cheating, your not trying."  I thought this was a terrible thing to tell 18-20 year olds. So when someone brought that up while I was making the bed and teaching the class I said this, "If you want to cheat go ahead.  But if you want to do it correctly think about this question: Would you want to fly on an airplane with a pilot who cheated on all of his tests, or one that took the time to learn the material?"

I had totally forgotten about that until he reminded me and it made me feel really good inside to knowt hat I am actually helping people.  I guess the guy in 4th platoon is trying his hardest not to cheat at what he is doing.  Good for him.

The other day Drill Sergeant R___ was leading us in our high crawl exercises. (You have to crawl along on the ground basically on your elbows and stomach and knees - yes this is the HIGH crawl, it gets lower.)  Anyway, when our lines formed up to go (we go in pairs) a guy named L___ was at the front.  And DS Ray yelled, "Where's Illguth?"  I yelled back, "Here Drill Sergeant."  And he told me to come up and be battle buddies with L____.  Every one laughed.  He and I are the quietest guys in the platoon.  We both have very subdued voices.  And during the exercise you have to yell as loud as you can.  When all was said and done and L___ and I were running back to the end of the line DS R___ yelled to us, "That was great I actually heard you guys!  I want you to talk like that from now on!"  When he told us that I yelled as loud as I could, "YES DRILL SERGEANT!"  And everyone in my platoon laughed because I had never sounded off so loud before - yes I can still be a clown.

October 27, 2012
I'm sorry I can only get around to writing you once a week.  But no matter how the day goes our company usually doesn't get any free time until 8:00 pm and that leaves me an hour to do anything.  Just a simple message today for you because it is 9:15 pm and I need to go to sleep.  I'll write you more and finish this tomorrow.  Hopefully we wont be stuck working outside all day long. . . .

October 28, 2012
Hi Beautiful, It's Sunday and I am praying for the opportunity to get a phone call to talk to you.  It is probably the coldest today that it was been since I've been down here.  It is cloudy and there is a chill breeze blowing.

I didn't get anyone to be a battle buddy with me to go to church today.  So I just went with the Buddhists and dropped out of their formation on the way to the Buddhist church (like I always do) and marched myself to church.  Two of the guys I came with from Utah are there every week.  And I am always happy to see them.  One of them got changed back to Red Phase because of the "Thugs," as he put it, in his platoon.  I felt really bad for him.  The other one has a pretty rotten platoon also.  I am glad I am where I am.

Speaking of Phase changes.  We were changed to Blue Phase last night! Yeh! That should last until the 36 hour pass (Thanksgiving) and apparently the rest is cake.  I am almost done!  I am looking forward to being done - a lot - I can't wait.  I have never been this excited for Christmas though - especially before Halloween!   . . . I tell you what - I'm ecstatic!

Speaking of holidays, I knew this before, but I just wanted to tell you again - I am missing my three favorite holidays of the year - Thanksgiving, Halloween, and my birthday.  I am kind of bummed out about that, but I will just deal with it I guess.  I also realized a couple weeks ago that this year is my 30th birthday on the 30th day of the month.  I remember making a log of plans for this birthday a long time ago.  Never in a million years did I think I would be spending it in basic training with a bunch of people I don't really care about.

I am reminding myself of the awesome birthday I had last year with you.  Thank you so much for that day.  I had so much fun.  I love the In and Out Burger, the chocolate factory, and the dinner at the JSMB.  I love the night too especially the wind storm the next morning.  Do you remember that? Anyway, I'm letting my thoughts run away with me.

 . . .

Just so you know, I am having fun here.  I get to do a ton of things that most other people don't get to.  Like fire fully automatic 50 caliber machine guns, grenade launchers, and other weapons - all fully automatic.  It is really fun to fire a weapon and see something two miles away blow up.  It is definitely a new experience.

I love all the exercise I get.  We have a new DS that came and replaced DS C___.  His name is DS B_____.  He saw me doing pull ups and asked how many I was on.  I replied, "Not many Drill Sergeant."  He asked how much and when I told him two he lectured me for a minute and told me I needed to improve.  I agreed.  The next day we did some sprinting and when I was passing him as he was standing on the side I heard him yell, "You can't do a pull up, but you can run pretty fast."  It made me laugh on the inside.  It is so fun to exercise and do it well enough to keep up with the younger guys here.

This week I had a dentist appointment and the hygienist or whatever was talking to the other female dentist and the dentist lady was ripping her husband up one side and down the other.  I couldn't believe it.  I don't understand that mentality.  I think it is terrible when people hate being married.  I am so glad you are supportive of me and vise versa.         

You know writing and rereading this letter and reading the letters you sent me kind of help.  It makes me glad to know I have a special person to write to and talk with.  I have been somewhat depressed as of lately.  But while I was doing my laundry today I was talking to a few of the guys here.  One in particular names A___.  We were talking about fixing things and I told him I can take a part a dryer, clean it, and put it back together probably faster than I can take a part my rifle, clean it, and put it back together.  We laughed at that.

Being able to write you and remembering that I am good at other things besides basic training has helped me to feel a little better about life.  I still wish I could have a conversation with you though.  I better finish this letter and send it to you. I love you so much.  I will see you in about 45 days.

Love,
'
Brandon